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Health & Healing => Love & Relationships => Topic started by: Dawn Moline on January 21, 2007, 01:59:05 am



Title: the Origins of Love
Post by: Dawn Moline on January 21, 2007, 01:59:05 am
the Origins of Love[/b]

To start with, we used the the model of the Watchers seducing the Daughters of Cain in the Book of Enoch. The question I first posed was, why were the Watchers first drawn to mortal women, was it lust, as the texts would have us believe, or was it love, as I personally happen to believe?

It could not be simple lust.

An angel, knowing the grace of God, would not sacrifice that grace lightly, and surely a being that is All-Knowing would know that lust is simply a passing fancy. An Angel, not knowing the draw of love, would be seduced and might make such a sacrifice. I also hold that it was not mere beauty alone that led the Watchers astray. There are female angels as well as male, and surely a female angel could become a thing of beauty far more enticing than flesh could ever conceive. I believe it was some inner quality that drew the angels, an element they saw in their creator, an innate human quality. The Watchers fell in love with the daughters of Cain because they sensed, in them, the same human quality they saw in the creator. In other words, their love for the women was the same as their love for their God. Loving the women helped them become closer to God, just as when we love one another we, too, become closer to God.

Love could not conceive of the monsters (giants) such a union at first reproduce, love simply is, it knows no master but itself, and that it enough.

When did love first enter the world? Did Neandertal man have any love for his mate? While the Ice Age hunter/gatherers hunted the Woolly Mammoth, did they do so for love?

From what I can see, love can be said to have first entered the world in one of two ways:

Human beings, descended from the apes, and all our impulses, love included, are nature's trick to get us to reproduce, impulses present in any species.

Human beings, descended from the angels, and the ability to love is of God's gift to us, perhaps our one saving grace amidst a sea of troubles.

Knowing many of you as I do, I think I can imagine which of the two camps some of you might split into. Still, I would like to put a more personal touch on this. I invite everyone to share their opinions, theories, even experiences on the reality of love, no matter how plain or how intimate. I notice many of you aren't using your real names, so there is nothing to conceal, no secret to protect. The only thing that you are protecting is whatever standing you have may have built up in the forum, which, in the final analysis, means very little anyway. I want to judge no one, I wish to understand everyone.

As human beings, I believe it our responsibility to try and gain a greater appreciation of one another. In my opinion, that is the one thing we owe to our past generations, to our children who come after us. No greater understanding can be greater than the one we have of love.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Aristotle on February 03, 2007, 05:27:07 pm
I actually once used to believe that love was simply an effect of nature's to get human beings to reproduce, and yet, I believe that falls more neatly into the category of "lust" instead.

The truth is, there are all kinds of levels of love that have nothing to do with the love that couples feel towards each other. 

Love of nature, for one, or love for a pet, a family member or a good friend.  Love of a good book or a work of cinema or music.

Each of these are a sort of love in themselves and proof that a "magic" irregardless of chemical biology exists.  And where that love comes from, that is certainly still a mystery.



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on February 04, 2007, 07:05:08 am
Love is the dedication and commitment thru all good times and bad.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on February 04, 2007, 07:06:39 pm
Bad news for Courtney Love.  :(

After a membership with eHarmony she ended up getting a refund because eHarmony found absolutly No matches for her.

Hmmmmmm  I wonder just how well she filled out the compatibility profile?   ???

Somehow I just can't picture her sitting still long enough to fill out the personality profile.  ;D ;D ;D


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Pagan on February 05, 2007, 10:33:29 pm
At this point, Courtney is so used and worn out from drugs, who would want her?

How is your love life going, Volitzer?


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: unknown on February 06, 2007, 01:39:14 am
"I've had the blues,
The reds and the pinks,
All I can say is Love Stinks,

Yah Yah Love STINKS!"



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on February 06, 2007, 06:08:13 am
Dawn my friend, love and lust carry a fine line my dear.
Yet love endures, and lust is something that consumes like a fire and then fizzles out.

Love is to life long commitment as lust is to a candle in the wind.
You can go through all the very same thoughts and emotions, but the  morning after is when you know the truth of what it all really was.

I wish that I knew what other differences were. In truth; Even at 36, I still don't understand why lust is even more blinding at times then even love.
As a man, it is like a snake bite.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on February 06, 2007, 06:42:14 am
At this point, Courtney is so used and worn out from drugs, who would want her?

How is your love life going, Volitzer?

Doing pretty good.  Going for the 30+ crowd has proven very successful.  She came to visit up here the 27th & 28th of February, it was quite magical.

Fianlly a woman who finds intellect a turn on.  I've only been waiting 24 years for her.

eHarmony may just very well turn the divorce rate in America around and down to 5% providing Americans are smart enough to allow it to work for them.  Yet somehow the users and gold-diggers will never be helped.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Michelle Sandberg on February 07, 2007, 01:35:15 pm
It's nice to see so many friendly faces here and that we got this topic started again.  I hope this is the place we can talk about our relationships, because I would still like to share mine.

When last I talked with everyone, I told everyone that Curt and I were engaged.  We're still engaged, but haven't set a date yet.  I suppose I am feeling a little anxious.

Anyway, there is this guy that started working at the library I work at that just started there a month ago.  He's tall and muscular, and very good looking, he was just my type so naturally I was attracted to him. His name was John.  My boss had me train him when he started, and on his first night, he asked me out for drinks. It was cold out, so I accepted. Anyway, we hit it off, I got a little tipsy, and, the next thing I knew, we wound up in bed together. The sex was intoxicating, and I don't mind saying, a little addictive, too.  He was hard and physical and very forceful, I felt wanted in a way I hadn't for months.  Much as I love Curt, once you have been with someone for as long as we have, there gets to be this sameness about it. He is also rarely around anymore. 

Anyway, once it was over, I knew I did wrong by cheating on Curt, and yet I couldn't help myself, I wanted more, I had to get more.  Curt is working two jobs right now, and we barely see each other.  When we do, he is too tired to do anything fun.  This is terrible, I know, but for the last month, after our shift is over, John and I walk over to his apartment, have sex together before he takes me home. I don't want to do it, but it is this animalistic instinct that  just can't control. He wants me, I like being wanted and how physical he is with me, and I am helpless to stop it from happening.

Oh, I know I am cheating on Curt and I also know that John doesn’t love me, he just wants my body, and yet, I can't control myself. My body aches to have sex with him and I let him do whatever he wants with me. 

John is not a nice person.  He doesn't buy me flowers or want to take me out, he just wants to have sex.  He knows he has me hooked and that I am helpess to resist.  The really odd thing is that now that it has gotten colder out, I want to have sex all the more, because the interaction of the flesh seems to keep me warm. I'm torn between crying because what I'm doing to Curt and being consumed by this insatiable need to keep the sex going.  I tell myself that I am just going through a phase and that I will return to wanting to be with someone who I know honestly respects and loves me, but for now, my sexuality has me under complete control.  I hope that no one thinks too poorly of me of confessing any of this. I'm glad that this is a private forum, so that only those of you I think of as my friends can listen to it. 

What do you do when you are in love with one man, but can't stop yourself from sleeping with another?

Michelle


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Aristotle on February 07, 2007, 08:46:48 pm
Michelle,

If you don't mind my saying so, this lack of faithfulness is an indication of your inability to settle down and get married at this point in your life. Nothing wrong with that, most people sow some wild oats before they do decide to settle down.  You're young and you still have some living to do.

If you want my opinion, Curt probably senses this about you, which is why he hasn't set a date yet.  I don't blame him, for all I know, he feels the same about his life.  But if you still have the urge to see other people, clearly you're not ready to get married.

Frankly, if I were either of you, I wouldn't get married unless I were actually genuinely ready to commit to someone.  Just by my conversations with you, I don't think that you are.  Maybe each of you should do yourselves a favor and not even try.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on February 08, 2007, 08:48:49 am
It's nice to see so many friendly faces here and that we got this topic started again.  I hope this is the place we can talk about our relationships, because I would still like to share mine.

When last I talked with everyone, I told everyone that Curt and I were engaged.  We're still engaged, but haven't set a date yet.  I suppose I am feeling a little anxious.

Anyway, there is this guy that started working at the library I work at that just started there a month ago.  He's tall and muscular, and very good looking, he was just my type so naturally I was attracted to him. His name was John.  My boss had me train him when he started, and on his first night, he asked me out for drinks. It was cold out, so I accepted. Anyway, we hit it off, I got a little tipsy, and, the next thing I knew, we wound up in bed together. The sex was intoxicating, and I don't mind saying, a little addictive, too.  He was hard and physical and very forceful, I felt wanted in a way I hadn't for months.  Much as I love Curt, once you have been with someone for as long as we have, there gets to be this sameness about it. He is also rarely around anymore. 

Anyway, once it was over, I knew I did wrong by cheating on Curt, and yet I couldn't help myself, I wanted more, I had to get more.  Curt is working two jobs right now, and we barely see each other.  When we do, he is too tired to do anything fun.  This is terrible, I know, but for the last month, after our shift is over, John and I walk over to his apartment, have sex together before he takes me home. I don't want to do it, but it is this animalistic instinct that  just can't control. He wants me, I like being wanted and how physical he is with me, and I am helpless to stop it from happening.

Oh, I know I am cheating on Curt and I also know that John doesn’t love me, he just wants my body, and yet, I can't control myself. My body aches to have sex with him and I let him do whatever he wants with me. 

John is not a nice person.  He doesn't buy me flowers or want to take me out, he just wants to have sex.  He knows he has me hooked and that I am helpess to resist.  The really odd thing is that now that it has gotten colder out, I want to have sex all the more, because the interaction of the flesh seems to keep me warm. I'm torn between crying because what I'm doing to Curt and being consumed by this insatiable need to keep the sex going.  I tell myself that I am just going through a phase and that I will return to wanting to be with someone who I know honestly respects and loves me, but for now, my sexuality has me under complete control.  I hope that no one thinks too poorly of me of confessing any of this. I'm glad that this is a private forum, so that only those of you I think of as my friends can listen to it. 

What do you do when you are in love with one man, but can't stop yourself from sleeping with another?

Michelle

If Curt aint putting forth any effort then maybe you should move on.  You should break it off with him first tho.  Since losing my virginity I can't wait to move south and be with my eHarmony sweetie.  She's the only woman I've ever known in which intellect is a turn on.  She even gave me a book and sex positions and things to work on.  I can't wait till next I see her.  I am going to put enough SEXATIVA in my system to set my hormonal clock back to my teens and then proceed to have sex with her.  That combines with what she gave me sex position wise as well... :-* :-* :-*  ;)

Michelle... seriously, you might want to consider a man whom is both loyal and sexual.  You're only getting pieces at this point.  All you are going to do is keep acting on the oxytocin and vasopressin, the intimacy hormones,  John is going to keep exploiting that and then when John finds someone else he's really interested in and gets tired of you he's just going to drop you. :-\

You may not be ready to settle down but at least respect yourself enough not to be used. :(


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Bianca on February 08, 2007, 10:37:58 am

St. Petersbug Times, Feb. 8, 2007


WORKERS FIND PREHISTORIC ROMEO AND JULIET LOCKED IN EMBRACE

An archaeologist says the find dates to a formative period of society.



Associated Press

ROME - They died young and, by the looks of it, in love.

Two 5,000-year-old skeletons found locked in an embrace near the city where Shakespeare set the star-crossed tale ROMEO AND JULIET have sparked theories
the remains of a far more ancient love story have been found.

Archaeologists unearthed the skeletons dating back to the late Neolithic period outside Mantua, 25 miles south of Verona, the city of Shakespeare's story of
doomed love. 

Buried between 5,000 and 6,000 years ago, the pair are believed to have been
a man and a woman and are thought to have died young, because their teeth
were found intact, said Elena Menotti, the archaeologist who led the dig.

"As far as we know, it's unique," Menotti said.  "Double burials from the Neoli-
thic are unheard of, and these are even hugging."

Archaeologists digging in the region have found some 30 burial sites, all single,
as well as the remains of prosperous villages filled with artifacts made of flint,
pottery and animal horns.

Although the Mantua pair strike an unusual and touching pose, archaeologists
have found other prehistoric burials in which the dead hold hands or have other
contact, said Luca Bondioli, an anthropologist at Rome's National Prehistoric and
Ethbnographic Museum.

Bondioli, who was not involved in the Mantua dig, said the find has "more of an
emotional than a scientific value.".  But it does highlight how the relationship people have with each other and with death has not changed much from the
period in which humanity first settled in villages, learning to farm the land and
tame animals, he said.

"The Neolithic is a very formative period for our society," he said.  "It was when
the roots of our religious sentiment were formed."

Menotti said the burial was "a ritual, but we have to find out what it means."

Experts might never determine the exact nature of pair's relationship, but Me-
notti said she had little doubt it was born of a deep sentiment.

The couple's burial site was located Monday during construction for a factory.  Experts will now study the artifacts and the skeletons to determine the burial site's age and how old the two were when they died.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A picture is included and it would be greatly appreciated if someone would trans-
fer it here for me.  Thank you,

Love and Peace,
Bianca


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: rockessence on February 08, 2007, 11:56:52 am
Great story Bianca,

I searched for the story on line and could not find it.  Got a link?


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Bianca on February 08, 2007, 04:48:20 pm


Yes, Rockessence, it's in the header.  It's my hometown's news-
paper, THE  ST. PETERSBURG TIMES - <sptimes.com>. Feb. 8/07.

There's a very poignant picture of the skeletons 'in situ'.

Love and Peace,
Bianca


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Bianca on February 08, 2007, 04:51:33 pm


Rockessence:

If you find it, please post the picture. 
I don't know how.

Thanks,
Bianca


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: rockessence on February 09, 2007, 02:54:02 am
I found this on CBS News...


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Brooke on February 09, 2007, 11:55:29 pm
Here you go, Bianca:

(http://i.a.cnn.net/cnn/2007/TECH/science/02/07/prehistoric.love.ap/vert.prehistoric.love.ap.jpg)

To post a pic, all you have to do is go the icon on the second row. right beneath the 'I.' (for Italic, right click on the picure link and paste it there.


The CNN version of the story:

Prehistoric lovers found locked in eternal embrace
POSTED: 9:15 p.m. EST, February 7, 2007


Story Highlights• Archaeologists find skeletons locked in a tender embrace near Verona, Italy
• The young lovers' remains were buried between 5,000 and 6,000 years ago
• They appear to cuddle closely while facing each other on their sides
• Shakespeare's classic star-crossed tale 'Romeo and Juliet' set in Verona, Italy

Adjust font size:
ROME, Italy (AP) -- It could be humanity's oldest story of doomed love.

Archaeologists have unearthed two skeletons from the Neolithic period locked in a tender embrace and buried outside Mantua. The site is just 25 miles south of Verona, the romantic city where Shakespeare set the star-crossed tale of "Romeo and Juliet."

Buried between 5,000 and 6,000 years ago, the prehistoric pair are believed to have been a man and a woman and are thought to have died young, as their teeth were found intact, said Elena Menotti, the archaeologist who led the dig. (Watch archaeologists uncover the embracing couple )

"As far as we know, it's unique," Menotti told The Associated Press by telephone from Milan. "Double burials from the Neolithic are unheard of, and these are even hugging."

The burial site was located Monday during construction work for a factory building in the outskirts of Mantua. Alongside the couple, archaeologists found flint tools, including arrowheads and a knife, Menotti said.

Experts will now study the artifacts and the skeletons to determine the burial site's age and how old the two were when they died, she said.

Although the Mantua pair strike a rare and touching pose, archaeologists have found prehistoric burials in which the dead hold hands or have other contact, said Luca Bondioli, an anthropologist at Rome's National Prehistoric and Ethnographic Museum.

The find has "more of an emotional than a scientific value." But it does highlight how the relationship people have with each other and with death has not changed much from the period in which humanity first settled in villages, learning to farm the land and tame animals, he said.

"The Neolithic is a very formative period for our society," he said. "It was when the roots of our religious sentiment were formed."

The two bodies, which cuddle closely while facing each other on their sides, were probably buried at the same time, an indication of a possible sudden and tragic death, Bondioli said.

"It's rare for two young people to die at the same time, and that makes us want to know why and who they were, but it will be very difficult to find out."

He said DNA testing could determine whether the two were related, "but that still leaves other hypotheses; the Romeo and Juliet possibility is just one of many."


http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/02/07/prehistoric.love.ap/index.html



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Brooke on February 10, 2007, 12:29:39 am
It's nice to see so many friendly faces here and that we got this topic started again.  I hope this is the place we can talk about our relationships, because I would still like to share mine.

When last I talked with everyone, I told everyone that Curt and I were engaged.  We're still engaged, but haven't set a date yet.  I suppose I am feeling a little anxious.

Anyway, there is this guy that started working at the library I work at that just started there a month ago.  He's tall and muscular, and very good looking, he was just my type so naturally I was attracted to him. His name was John.  My boss had me train him when he started, and on his first night, he asked me out for drinks. It was cold out, so I accepted. Anyway, we hit it off, I got a little tipsy, and, the next thing I knew, we wound up in bed together. The sex was intoxicating, and I don't mind saying, a little addictive, too.  He was hard and physical and very forceful, I felt wanted in a way I hadn't for months.  Much as I love Curt, once you have been with someone for as long as we have, there gets to be this sameness about it. He is also rarely around anymore. 

Anyway, once it was over, I knew I did wrong by cheating on Curt, and yet I couldn't help myself, I wanted more, I had to get more.  Curt is working two jobs right now, and we barely see each other.  When we do, he is too tired to do anything fun.  This is terrible, I know, but for the last month, after our shift is over, John and I walk over to his apartment, have sex together before he takes me home. I don't want to do it, but it is this animalistic instinct that  just can't control. He wants me, I like being wanted and how physical he is with me, and I am helpless to stop it from happening.

Oh, I know I am cheating on Curt and I also know that John doesn’t love me, he just wants my body, and yet, I can't control myself. My body aches to have sex with him and I let him do whatever he wants with me. 

John is not a nice person.  He doesn't buy me flowers or want to take me out, he just wants to have sex.  He knows he has me hooked and that I am helpess to resist.  The really odd thing is that now that it has gotten colder out, I want to have sex all the more, because the interaction of the flesh seems to keep me warm. I'm torn between crying because what I'm doing to Curt and being consumed by this insatiable need to keep the sex going.  I tell myself that I am just going through a phase and that I will return to wanting to be with someone who I know honestly respects and loves me, but for now, my sexuality has me under complete control.  I hope that no one thinks too poorly of me of confessing any of this. I'm glad that this is a private forum, so that only those of you I think of as my friends can listen to it. 

What do you do when you are in love with one man, but can't stop yourself from sleeping with another?

Michelle

Michelle, I have to say, I know just how you feel! Often, we tend to get involved with people who might be bad for us, but who give us some kind of a thrill.  It's all about the sex, and maybe a mark of our own immaturity as well.  What people don't realize is that the instinct is completely normal, however society's reaction to it is what tends to create all the guilt!  So you are seeing someone on the side because it just happens to be great sex.  Guys do that all the time, in fact, half the time, they aren't even expected to be faithful, supposedly, it is a man's nature to cheat. 

How many names are there for a guy who sleeps around and just how many are there for a woman?  Well, there are zilch, when it comes to a guy (unless, you just count the word, "guy.") while we have a gadzillion for women who do that.

So I say, do what you want to do, and only then get married.  I've been faithful to Jason cause he satisfies al of my different needs, both physical and intellectual, but I have been with guys who haven't done that and know just where you're at.

Brooke


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on February 10, 2007, 09:27:12 am

Michelle, I have to say, I know just how you feel! Often, we tend to get involved with people who might be bad for us, but who give us some kind of a thrill.  It's all about the sex, and maybe a mark of our own immaturity as well.  What people don't realize is that the instinct is completely normal, however society's reaction to it is what tends to create all the guilt!  So you are seeing someone on the side because it just happens to be great sex.  Guys do that all the time, in fact, half the time, they aren't even expected to be faithful, supposedly, it is a man's nature to cheat. 

How many names are there for a guy who sleeps around and just how many are there for a woman?  Well, there are zilch, when it comes to a guy (unless, you just count the word, "guy.") while we have a gadzillion for women who do that.

How about man-****, and sucker should she get pregnant and now he has to support her and the baby.

So I say, do what you want to do, and only then get married.  I've been faithful to Jason cause he satisfies al of my different needs, both physical and intellectual, but I have been with guys who haven't done that and know just where you're at.

Brooke

Try living in a ****-culture where everything is reverse.  At least Michelle is going for a guy with some attributes.  Here if you don't bathe, look all ghetto-ish, and the less education you have then you'll get all the women you want as far as being a man-**** goes.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Pagan on February 12, 2007, 02:37:43 am
Michelle sweetie,

Do you want to know what the difference between women like me and women like you when it comes to cheating on guys?

NOTHING!

You have never just been very honest  about what you are!

Which is, let's face it, a tramp!


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Majeston on February 12, 2007, 09:37:26 am
Michelle sweetie,

Do you want to know what the difference between women like me and women like you when it comes to cheating on guys?

NOTHING!

You have never just been very honest  about what you are!

Which is, let's face it, a tramp!


 ::)
 ;D
same ol' Pagan.........rock solid


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Anassa on February 13, 2007, 12:57:35 am
Welcome to the forum Absonite or Majeston..."the personal and infallible center of reflectivity phenomena in all seven superuniverses of time and space".
Thought I recognised your writing style :)



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Pagan on February 13, 2007, 03:29:05 am
Michelle sweetie,

Do you want to know what the difference between women like me and women like you when it comes to cheating on guys?

NOTHING!

You have never just been very honest  about what you are!

Which is, let's face it, a tramp!


 ::)
 ;D
same ol' Pagan.........rock solid

Damn straight, Abs, we must never be too afraid to speak truth to whinniness!

Welcome back, by the way.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Brooke on February 15, 2007, 10:48:49 pm
Quote
Try living in a ****-culture where everything is reverse.  At least Michelle is going for a guy with some attributes.  Here if you don't bathe, look all ghetto-ish, and the less education you have then you'll get all the women you want as far as being a man-**** goes.

And which guy would that be, Volitzer?  It sounds like Michelle is going, at best, for some sexual excitement,   which we are all entitled to have, and probably doesn't make her a whole lot different from the women you know there.

As I said, each woman goes through the phase where they are excited at the idea of screwing around a little before they settle down - just like guys do.  The difference is, we have a gadzillion names for women who do that, while we have none for men!  There is a rotten double standard at work here!

Brooke


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on February 17, 2007, 10:50:03 am
One thing that I noticed while reading through more on this subject is that we all base our replies on this subject on personal experience.

I am totally diggin it too.

If I may, I would like to share one thought with all of you.
Love is that one thing that makes everything worth living for because it's all we have that is still real.
Even as a married man, I am still longing to know what that deep, true love is.
I feel it throughout my whole body, mind, and soul.
And yet I have never felt it from another.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on February 17, 2007, 12:30:09 pm
Quote
Try living in a ****-culture where everything is reverse.  At least Michelle is going for a guy with some attributes.  Here if you don't bathe, look all ghetto-ish, and the less education you have then you'll get all the women you want as far as being a man-**** goes.

And which guy would that be, Volitzer?  It sounds like Michelle is going, at best, for some sexual excitement,   which we are all entitled to have, and probably doesn't make her a whole lot different from the women you know there.

As I said, each woman goes through the phase where they are excited at the idea of screwing around a little before they settle down - just like guys do.  The difference is, we have a gadzillion names for women who do that, while we have none for men!  There is a rotten double standard at work here!

Brooke

Yeah I have never figured that out about guys either.  I think it has to do with a control and a manipulating of women's emotions than it has to do with anything else.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on February 17, 2007, 01:41:02 pm
In terms of relationships, (((((Hugs)))))....

That to all within the female gender, and (extends hand) to all the guys.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on February 17, 2007, 02:57:44 pm
So long
I've been looking too hard, I've waiting too long
Sometimes I don't know what I will find
I only know it's a matter of time
When you love someone
When you love someone

It feels so right, so warm and true
I need to know if you feel it too

Maybe I'm wrong
Won't you tell me if I'm coming on too strong?
This heart of mine has been hurt before
This time I wanna be sure

I've been waiting for a girl like you
To come into my life
I've been waiting for a girl like you
A love that will survive
I've been waiting for someone new
To make me feel alive
Yeah, waiting for a girl like you
To come into my life

You're so good
When we make love it's understood
It's more than a touch or a word we say
Only in dreams could it be this way
When you love someone
Yeah, really love someone

Now, I know it's right
From the moment I wake up till deep in the night
There's no where on earth that I'd rather be
Than holding you, tenderly

I've been waiting for a girl like you
To come into my life
I've been waiting for a girl like you
And a love that will survive
I've been waiting for someone new
To make me feel alive
Yeah, waiting for a girl like you
To come into my life

I've been waiting, waiting for you, ooh
Ooh, I've been waiting
I've been waiting, yeah
I've been waiting for a girl like you
I've been waiting
Won't you come into my life?
My life?

Now that pretty much sums up how romantic this feeling of love makes us.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on February 17, 2007, 02:59:18 pm
http://www.blogmusik.net/?urlIdSong=41845


This says it all!


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on February 17, 2007, 03:10:23 pm
This one used to get played during couple skates back about 20 years ago.
Let's see who remembers this one:

http://www.blogmusik.net/?urlIdSong=3727


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on February 17, 2007, 03:16:35 pm
This one is special for a special reason, for only one special person.
http://www.blogmusik.net/?urlIdSong=193176
http://www.blogmusik.net/?urlIdSong=204201
http://www.blogmusik.net/?urlIdSong=71619


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on February 17, 2007, 03:19:34 pm
After you all listen to these songs, think about that time you held that person you knew was right.
http://www.blogmusik.net/?urlIdSong=106715


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on February 17, 2007, 03:26:57 pm
http://www.blogmusik.net/?urlIdSong=130232
http://www.blogmusik.net/?urlIdSong=160446
http://www.blogmusik.net/?urlIdSong=210477

or:

http://www.blogmusik.net/?urlIdSong=208275
http://www.blogmusik.net/?urlIdSong=132927
http://www.blogmusik.net/?urlIdSong=82282


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on February 17, 2007, 03:37:06 pm
For the ghetto brothers and sisters...
LOL

I know this one will be a hit!
http://www.blogmusik.net/?urlIdSong=208251
http://www.blogmusik.net/?urlIdSong=184440
http://www.blogmusik.net/?urlIdSong=203935


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on February 17, 2007, 04:04:04 pm
Pamela Anderson?
http://www.blogmusik.net/?urlIdSong=103859

And I know only a hand full of you will remember this one:
http://www.blogmusik.net/?urlIdSong=3711
http://www.blogmusik.net/?urlIdSong=3723


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on February 17, 2007, 04:06:54 pm
Last but not least.....

http://www.blogmusik.net/?urlIdSong=205282
http://www.blogmusik.net/?urlIdSong=88257
http://www.blogmusik.net/?urlIdSong=114435
http://www.blogmusik.net/?urlIdSong=140119


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jennifer O'Dell on February 17, 2007, 10:56:30 pm
Wow, lots of songs. I wonder if we can add a link right to an MP3 player here so we can just press play?


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on February 18, 2007, 12:10:41 am
Did you get to listen to any of them?

I am hoping these links were working.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: unknown on February 18, 2007, 12:26:22 am
Here for Now

they worked for me


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Stacy Dohm on February 18, 2007, 06:39:49 am
Howdy HereForNow,

Still waiting to hear some juicy sex stories, guys.  Don't make me drag mine out first.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on February 18, 2007, 09:47:39 am
Welp, I'm not sure if I can give any details.

I can tell you though that sex and pizza go hand-n-hand.
Even if it wasn't all that great, it was all good.
Ofcourse, I have never faked an orgasm except once.
But thats because I was close to my regular visit from aunt flow.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on February 18, 2007, 09:50:12 am
Unknown-

What did you think of some of them?
 ;D

Man, I have always loved alot of those older love tunes.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on February 18, 2007, 10:09:28 am
In truth, I posted many of these love songs to express the origion of love for me.
I was born in 1970, and alot of these songs came from my generation.
This is why, those of us who didn't have drug over-doses or wind up in prision.
Now are parents to multipul children.  LOL
 Romance, is how the comfort zones for love's foundation are established.

Aside from romance, it was bonding.
I love to hold someone really close, while the sound of the song plays.
Inside you feel this complete hunger.
Lust tends to be the theme feel alot of those emotions.

But then, Boom!
The kiss. You have unlocked the door for what will eventually turn into love.
Now, if you want to be out of the ordinary for a moment.

Listen to these songs and try to imagine slow dancing and remember it's going to be just you and Her/Him.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on February 18, 2007, 12:31:24 pm
This one is kinda groovish.

Scienanologic:
http://www.blogmusik.net/?urlIdSong=233014
This one grooves for me too in a way.
http://www.blogmusik.net/?urlIdSong=175494


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: unknown on February 21, 2007, 02:53:02 am
Hi for Here and Now

They were taking quite a while to load so I only listened to a couple, but its funny how a song can bring you right back to a special moment.

"when its time to relax, beer after beer"



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Michelle Sandberg on February 21, 2007, 03:03:36 pm
Michelle sweetie,

Do you want to know what the difference between women like me and women like you when it comes to cheating on guys?

NOTHING!

You have never just been very honest  about what you are!

Which is, let's face it, a tramp!


Don't compare yourself to me, Pagan, I am nothing like you. I have been with five men in my life, while (according to you), you have been with an army, both men and women.  Sorry, I'll take my sexual history over yours anyday.

Michelle


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on February 22, 2007, 09:43:06 pm
Pegan, Michelle,

   No matter if you cheat or your commited, the same outcome is going to occur. You are either ok with everything or you need a change.
You can justify it anyway you like and it still reflects a need.

  What that need is, will be the only difference.
Perhaps, your both right and wrong. From personal experience, I can offer this thought about cheating.
No matter how wrong or so right it is, you have to make a choice eventually.
One will feel the fire, and one will feel the pain.
Which one is it going to be?

Suddenly you no longer care who gets hurt.
Thats the only thing that makes it wrong, once it all finally winds up in the open.
The part that makes it all seem so awesome is the thrill of getting away with it.

For me, the pain came when I made the wrong choice and the love of my life was gone.
If I was ever granted a chance to go back to that day, I would have stopped her before she drove away.
Held her tight and told her how I felt. Now, I am left with a memory with pain comparable to losing a loved one.

I'm happy for the most part because out of it, I have the 5 greatest loves of my life now. (my Kids)
Problem is, I wanted the other woman and my 5 kids.
I won't complain though. I got 5 out of 6........

Pretty deep huh?
Want some more dirt on me?

LOL



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Brooke on February 22, 2007, 11:53:29 pm
Wow, it certainly sounds like you're not with the right person, HereForNow.  On the other hand, you must have liked her once else you would never have gotten married, right? Everyone's marriages got old after awhile.  Are you sure it's not just that you're experiencing?


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Michelle Sandberg on February 23, 2007, 01:39:38 pm
Thanks, HereForNow, it sounds like you have similar feelings to what I'm going through - similar, but not exact.  I am in love with Curt, and yet I can't help myself with this other guy for some reason.  There is a thrill involved with it, but I'm hoping it will fade out eventually.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on February 23, 2007, 03:55:50 pm
Wow, it certainly sounds like you're not with the right person, HereForNow.  On the other hand, you must have liked her once else you would never have gotten married, right? Everyone's marriages got old after awhile.  Are you sure it's not just that you're experiencing?

I love her.....

I just can't say for sure if I have been truely in love with anyone to be honest.
Somehow, I have always felt like something wasn't there.
I don't know what that something was.
Brooke, this is exactly why I visit this thread most of all.
I know how to love, and can feel love.
Yet, being in love, and loving someone isn't the same.
Right?

Ok, next is my love of understanding the human and/or living spirit.
Now, my only question for the sake of it all is;
What's been missing in those times I was in love?


The answer to this one, would be the "Greatest Find".
 :o


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on February 23, 2007, 04:04:51 pm
Thanks, HereForNow, it sounds like you have similar feelings to what I'm going through - similar, but not exact.  I am in love with Curt, and yet I can't help myself with this other guy for some reason.  There is a thrill involved with it, but I'm hoping it will fade out eventually.

I wish that would have been my case too.
You are already addicted, LOL....
And are guilty of eating of the forbidden fruit.
It's lust, and yet leasure. It preoccupies you all day, and well into the night.
A secret romance. ;D

And Guilt! Denial! And false justification.....
But it's just so right....
Is that a little more the same?





Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Brooke on February 25, 2007, 06:01:54 pm
Wow, it certainly sounds like you're not with the right person, HereForNow.  On the other hand, you must have liked her once else you would never have gotten married, right? Everyone's marriages got old after awhile.  Are you sure it's not just that you're experiencing?

I love her.....

I just can't say for sure if I have been truely in love with anyone to be honest.
Somehow, I have always felt like something wasn't there.
I don't know what that something was.
Brooke, this is exactly why I visit this thread most of all.
I know how to love, and can feel love.
Yet, being in love, and loving someone isn't the same.
Right?

Ok, next is my love of understanding the human and/or living spirit.
Now, my only question for the sake of it all is;
What's been missing in those times I was in love?


The answer to this one, would be the "Greatest Find".
 :o

HereForNow, I think what we most tend to mistake for love amounts to an uncontrollable passion.

Think of it, we can love all sorts of things, but true romantic love exists in that period where you first meet and can't keep your hands off one another! Unfortunately, that fades in time, and many people spend their time either looking for ways to get it back or find it with someone else.

So what a lot of us mistake for love happens to be simple lust instead.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on February 26, 2007, 06:32:00 am
Exactly! This is why I am so confused.

I have tried a few rekindeling tricks as well to see if those were what was missing and again, a cold loneliness is all that remained. Even in God, I have not found that feeling I want.
And most of you know that I love God more then breathing. My kids are my world as well and I'm honestly in love with being a Dad & Father. This is not what I'm lacking though.

I wanna know what that soul-love is........
And I have never had it. Came close, but no cigar.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Pagan on March 02, 2007, 02:25:56 am
HereForNow,

I'm going to give you some of my patented advice.  First off, when relationshops go bad, chances are, it's about the sex.  I know that no one wants to admit that, but, if the sex is good, you can pretty much work around everything else!

How is your sex life?

Is she refusing you at all?  Maybe she's not getting "hers," but is too afraid to tell you cause she doesn't want to hurt your feelings.  It may all be as simple as working on the "Big O" for her.

Barring that, if you really can't stand her or are just staying together for the kids, you need to pick yourself either a mistress or a prostitute.  There's no reason you should have to live like that!


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on March 02, 2007, 02:29:18 pm
HereForNow,

I'm going to give you some of my patented advice.  First off, when relationshops go bad, chances are, it's about the sex.  I know that no one wants to admit that, but, if the sex is good, you can pretty much work around everything else!

Right just like all those Lifetime Network movies, the sex is great but the psychological abuse becomes unbearable but women still stay in it for the sex.  ::)

How is your sex life?

Is she refusing you at all?  Maybe she's not getting "hers," but is too afraid to tell you cause she doesn't want to hurt your feelings.  It may all be as simple as working on the "Big O" for her.

Barring that, if you really can't stand her or are just staying together for the kids, you need to pick yourself either a mistress or a prostitute.  There's no reason you should have to live like that!

Or divorce and get 29 dimensions working for you in a relationship.  Now that I have it working for me everything is just clicking perfectly.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on March 02, 2007, 08:01:22 pm
Volt- Divorce is for quitters.....

Not saying that to be argumentive. It's just that when all that was happening in my life, I was in the middle of one of those 7 year cycles.
29 dimensions didn't exist when God created man.
We didn't

Pagen- Long time no hear princess.
To answer some of these very honest questions on sex;
I know exactly what your saying about how those things can be an issue.
Pending upon ones priorities.
In my case, I love having sex and have enjoyed it with just about everyone I ever slept with.
Like pizza, even if it was frozen. It's always best served hot. And I like to endure the wait of it cooking.
Not a problem.  :-*

The real issue with me has nothing to do with our sex.
It has to do with an inner scream for that missing something in my soul.
I desire it more then I need it, yet it haunts me day and night.

Sex used to do that to me, but I'm a big boy now...   LOL


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Bianca on March 02, 2007, 10:50:19 pm


I have tried very hard to stay out of this, Para (hope you don't mind me using
your old name), but I see your name crop up beside the heading of this thread
and........I keep coming back.........

You literally are breaking my heart - no I am NOT making fun of you, because I've
been there - still am.

In certain quarters it's called seeking for your "Soul Mate".  I wish I could
conjure yours out of thin air for you!  I hope with all my heart you meet her.

Best I can do is send you, as usual,

(((PARA)))-hugs


Bianca


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Brooke on March 03, 2007, 12:08:26 am
Quote
Right just like all those Lifetime Network movies, the sex is great but the psychological abuse becomes unbearable but women still stay in it for the sex.   


Great sex and psychological abuse are two separate issues! 

Women who are abused do NOT stay because the sex is good, but because whatever maniac they happen to be with threatens to kill them if they want to leave.

Great sex, on the other hand, tends to build psychological bonds, and (like it or not Volitzer), sex does happen to play a part in ADULT relationships. 

Brooke


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on March 03, 2007, 12:29:46 pm
Bianca2001-

Then can you see why it is so hard difficult for me to allow the gravity of love a chance to ground me?

 ;D

On the other hand;
I just save a **** load of money by switching my car insurence to Gieko. :P

(that made you all smile)  HaHa

Anyhow, I am waiting for a world that doesn't exist yet too, and an obstacle I can not cross.
It is a path I chose to walk for now.

And now like a good Amy Lee video, I no longer cry on the outside.
Yet stuck, always looking in. All my love to you and yours my friend.
Harry


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on March 03, 2007, 12:36:05 pm
LOL she said LifeTime Movie....
I hate that channel...   
(kidding)

Psychological abuse becomes unbearable but women still stay in it for the sex.    
This is why I won't seek my hearts path.
Psychological abuse of a commitment being broken is a lie I won't allow myself to live or create.
This is why love is still such a mystery and I have now relized is a dream.
The reality is, that I am atleast loved and I love that too.
 ;D


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Brooke on March 04, 2007, 12:33:35 am
Quote
LOL she said LifeTime Movie....
I hate that channel...   
(kidding)

I hate it, too!  When I'm home, my TV stays on the History Channel of NG (National Geographic) and it stays there!

Life is about learning things!  Things concerning relationships are things you have to learn personally anyway, there are no shortcuts!

Brooke


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on March 04, 2007, 01:12:32 pm
I'm a sucker for both of those myself. My favorite is the science channel.
Occationally I watch spike and sci-fi.....

It's usually short lived, but I can get an hour of tv during the day and about an hour and a half at night.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Morrison on March 04, 2007, 09:29:32 pm
Volt- Divorce is for quitters.....

Not saying that to be argumentive. It's just that when all that was happening in my life, I was in the middle of one of those 7 year cycles.
29 dimensions didn't exist when God created man.
We didn't

Pagen- Long time no hear princess.
To answer some of these very honest questions on sex;
I know exactly what your saying about how those things can be an issue.
Pending upon ones priorities.
In my case, I love having sex and have enjoyed it with just about everyone I ever slept with.
Like pizza, even if it was frozen. It's always best served hot. And I like to endure the wait of it cooking.
Not a problem.  :-*

The real issue with me has nothing to do with our sex.
It has to do with an inner scream for that missing something in my soul.
I desire it more then I need it, yet it haunts me day and night.

Sex used to do that to me, but I'm a big boy now...   LOL


My friend, I know just how you feel. I have had many a romance that started out with such passion and love and then evolved into becoming a bit ordinary and faded excitement. I've met some very incredible women in my life, women who could occupy my intellect just as surely as they could inflame my passions, yet everything gets less exciting eventually.

I wonder if what you are looking for is something that can't be found in other people, but in a quest for something else?  Whether one is a man or a woman, it is wrong, I think, to put too much emphasis on another person to give ourselves fulfillment.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on March 05, 2007, 10:17:37 pm
Morrison, that was the most insightful thing I have heard yet.
Wow....

Wake-up call.. 
 :)

I wonder how many years you have me by...
That might very well be exactly on the mark.
Maybe, I haven't caught my own tail yet.
I am still looking inward...

Thank you very much Morrison.
You expressed that awesomely.
Cheers!

Maybe what I'm really looking for is more spiritual.
Thats the direction this thing seems to take everytime.
It is a call though Morrison.

I also beleive that I've been kidding myself when I said it was more of a desire.
I need to know.....
Now, what is it?

I will fall on my face in the presence of God.
I beleive without a dobt that ghosts are real.
I also beleive that OBE's are a real.
 
Now I have to know what fulfillment is going to be for me.
Sounds a lil' like karma.
Yet it really is up to me to find.



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Trent on March 05, 2007, 10:31:07 pm
I am totally with that, and both men and women tend to put too much emphasis on another person to make themselves happy.  Not only do people end up smothering each other, it is also damn near impossible for one person to make another one happy all the time.

That's why people need to have some outside interests other than love, sex, whatever.

Like HereForNow and Bianca, life, the afterlife really interests me, as does the past.  Pretty hard to come up with a more important interest than whether there is life after death.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on March 06, 2007, 08:18:15 pm
Although, outside interests are why I'm for the most part sane.

Thing is, it still reflects the need for more.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on March 07, 2007, 09:55:31 am
The thing is to have outside interests that both enjoy.  Sex is good between us but we can also enjoy National Geographic documentaries as well.  She likes doing Karoke and I enjoy watching her.  We also love aerodynamics and look forward to pilot school together.

I just love the fact she loves to expand her mind.  NY women are the perverbial dumb-blonde that starves in the supermarket when it comes to knowledge here.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on March 10, 2007, 10:51:48 am
For me; my focas has been going to work to finish out my time there until it's closed and getting started at a new job. Thankfully that came into play right on time.

Outside of that, I have spending more time with my family.
Tonight I'm going out with my brother and cousin.
Thats going to be a hoot.
All day so far, my kids have been behaving.
I was horse playin and I think I tired them all out.   LOL
Most of you youngins ain't gots nothin on this old man. :-\
Kiddin...
I'm trying to keep things as simple as I possibly can......
Thats been the theme I've been keeping.




Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on March 11, 2007, 06:30:28 pm
My co-workers saw a picture of my girlfriend from eHarmony and were like "Wow she's very pretty... amazing she is using a dating service at all."

I then told them that eHarmony was more than just a "dating service".

Most of them are in failed relationships so I think I have their curiosity piqued.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on March 15, 2007, 03:45:30 am
Did you buy stock in this?

You advertise it like it's making you money...
Have to ask man because I did a small amount of research on it and GoErie.com personals are about the same exact thing.
Difference is, none of those people with profiles on that site have to pay a dime.

Perhaps reconizing that love is for free, is better then paying to connect to that potential mate.

Eventually, love brings people together anyhow.
I mean if it's true love, then it works out that way.
Little or no effort is needed.
Love always finds a way!


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on March 15, 2007, 08:42:23 pm
No I don't own stock at eHarmony.

With so many relationship failures out there it is best to know why.  It would seem that 2 very good natured people could have a real bad relationship if compatibility issues aren't in sync.

America is too pluralistic anymore to ever know someone all that well unless you grew up with them.  Unfortunately there was never anyone I ever felt that close of a connection to when I was younger.  I was a rather odd teen.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on March 17, 2007, 01:11:02 am
You must have spent alot of time being occupied by family and alone the rest of the time?
Just asking, because it seems that interaction is rough when it comes to avoiding conflict(s)
of interest.

Not picking on you or anything, just trying to figure you out when it comes to the way you veiw a relationship. It's like you are attempting to find someone who will be willing to give her all while you give only as much back as you think her sacrafices are worth. Atleast based on what you have posted in the past.

Does sex with this girl seem like something you can do forever?
Is there any hang-ups you have about your, "stuff"? Like a'lil Pee-pee?
Do you have a three pump chump slump and no rump?  LOL
(Kidding)
Man, I'm terrible this morning.

My guess is you will probably answer by saying your a virgin.
Which is really cool too. Then again, you might be more active then I am.
I'm like a sex camel. By the time I can even get a rise my eyes are usually ready to close and sleep then becomes my only lust.

Don't get me wrong, when I am feeling abit of extra energy I can be a serious **** star..  LOL
(yeah right)

Most of the time, I'm too physically and mentally drained for even masterbation....
 ;D

If love was a physics thing, I would have to copy and paste the laws of thermo-dynamics.




Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Veronica Poe on March 17, 2007, 09:31:23 am
I think we place a bit too much emphasis upon 'compatability.'

Do two people actually have to be in sync all the time?  Personally, I like that I don't always agree with the person I am with, I like the friction and sometimes, I even like to argue. People thrive when they find those different from themselves, because the alternative tends to be a bit too ordinary and uninspiring.

Peace,

Veronica


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on March 17, 2007, 12:59:51 pm
Growing beyond your own understanding is more attractive then the same ole' hunky doory.....


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on March 17, 2007, 01:01:36 pm
:o ::) :o
:o ::) :o


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Anassa on March 17, 2007, 03:40:50 pm
My favourite piece of advice about romance :)

"Let there be spaces in your togetherness,

And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another but make not a bond of love:

Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.

Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,

Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.

For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together, yet not too near together:

For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow."

Kahlil Gibran

http://www.columbia.edu/~gm84/gibtable.html



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on March 21, 2007, 11:21:59 am
You must have spent alot of time being occupied by family and alone the rest of the time?
Just asking, because it seems that interaction is rough when it comes to avoiding conflict(s)
of interest.


 No just the bad misfortune of growing up in a feminist ****-culture. 


Not picking on you or anything, just trying to figure you out when it comes to the way you veiw a relationship. It's like you are attempting to find someone who will be willing to give her all while you give only as much back as you think her sacrafices are worth. Atleast based on what you have posted in the past.

 Not at all just soneone who thinks like me in many of life's major areas.  Hence the 29 dimensions.

Does sex with this girl seem like something you can do forever?

 Yes

Is there any hang-ups you have about your, "stuff"? Like a'lil Pee-pee?

 Not at all.


Do you have a three pump chump slump and no rump?  LOL   ;D
(Kidding)
Man, I'm terrible this morning.   :D

My guess is you will probably answer by saying your a virgin.

NOT ANYMORE!!!!  :) :) :)


Which is really cool too. Then again, you might be more active then I am.
I'm like a sex camel. By the time I can even get a rise my eyes are usually ready to close and sleep then becomes my only lust.

Don't get me wrong, when I am feeling abit of extra energy I can be a serious **** star..  LOL
(yeah right)

Most of the time, I'm too physically and mentally drained for even masterbation....
 ;D

If love was a physics thing, I would have to copy and paste the laws of thermo-dynamics.



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on March 21, 2007, 11:36:03 am
I think we place a bit too much emphasis upon 'compatability.'

Do two people actually have to be in sync all the time?  Personally, I like that I don't always agree with the person I am with, I like the friction and sometimes, I even like to argue. People thrive when they find those different from themselves, because the alternative tends to be a bit too ordinary and uninspiring.

Peace,

Veronica

I'm sure there are women out there who like getting slapped around and watch Lifetime movies.  That and the user and player crowd who are too in love with themselves to ever consider serious relationships.

However the majority of Americans opt for stable and productive marriages.  eHarmony went from 4 million to 8 million members just 2 years ago.  I mean if you are a user and a player then sure eHarmony is useless to you but for those wanting real relationships there's eHarmony.

I like the fact that it shuts up many of these so called female 'relationship experts' is worthy of some Noble Prize myself.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Morrison on March 24, 2007, 04:07:04 pm
Morrison, that was the most insightful thing I have heard yet.
Wow....

Wake-up call.. 
 :)

I wonder how many years you have me by...
That might very well be exactly on the mark.
Maybe, I haven't caught my own tail yet.
I am still looking inward...

Thank you very much Morrison.
You expressed that awesomely.
Cheers!

Maybe what I'm really looking for is more spiritual.
Thats the direction this thing seems to take everytime.
It is a call though Morrison.

I also beleive that I've been kidding myself when I said it was more of a desire.
I need to know.....
Now, what is it?

I will fall on my face in the presence of God.
I beleive without a dobt that ghosts are real.
I also beleive that OBE's are a real.
 
Now I have to know what fulfillment is going to be for me.
Sounds a lil' like karma.
Yet it really is up to me to find.



I am certainly glad that I could help you, my friend.  I think that everyone in a relationship would do well to remember:  often the things we are looking for we cannot find in another person, and it is wrong to expect anyone to actually meet that expectation.

People need a cause to believe in, either something meaninful to occupy them, or something to fight for, else they all tend to wither away.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on March 28, 2007, 11:41:47 pm
Priority before Desire.
Obligation before Leasure.
Cause and Effect.

If what I've done up to this point has not brought me fulfillment,
then it appears that something else must is there.
I do agree that it is selfish to expect someone to be my whole world and desire.
This also limits what I am capable of accomplishing out of love.
I need to love me, to be filled with all the remaining love surrounding me.

 ;D

Perhaps it's what I have left to do before;

So why am I still waiting?



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on April 26, 2007, 04:17:32 pm
 ;D Ok now what makes love between strangers tick?


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on April 27, 2007, 04:02:27 pm
;D Ok now what makes love between strangers tick?


Compatability.   ::)

Does no one pay attention!!!   >:(

Honestly people. :D


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on April 27, 2007, 11:51:58 pm
Ok volitzer, now what if I'm not talking love in it's intimate form?  :-*

I'm talking unconditional form.
You know like the kind that makes you weap when you hear a tornado ripped down a city in Texas and you live Ohio.

Compassion is one of it's traits.
Compatiblity is only a mating tool.



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 03, 2007, 10:30:36 pm
 :D Anything come to mind?


Try explaining an emotion of any type.
After a breif moment to reset, I now know the answer for my own.
Energy that is hard-wired into our very creation.

Even an animal shows fear of pain and death.
Hmmmm, even though this could lead to a discussion of creation vs. evolution.

It seems that the answer lies just beyond the connection.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Brooke on May 04, 2007, 02:15:33 am
;D Ok now what makes love between strangers tick?


Easy, moments!

The more moments two people share together, the more their affection for one another begins to build.  Those moments can boil down to helping one another through difficult times, to sharing a nice sexual experience.  Chemistry might help you get there, but unless you go through certain things together, you usually don't get to be together.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 04, 2007, 02:55:33 am
;D Ok now what makes love between strangers tick?


Easy, moments!

The more moments two people share together, the more their affection for one another begins to build.  Those moments can boil down to helping one another through difficult times, to sharing a nice sexual experience.  Chemistry might help you get there, but unless you go through certain things together, you usually don't get to be together.

I know where your coming from and I don't disagree...
But real unconditional love between 2 people or two-million people is not brought on by any physical contact, only a connection.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 04, 2007, 10:24:02 am
Right let's re-invent the wheel here while we're at it!!!   ::)


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 05, 2007, 03:06:25 pm
Ok Voli, but let's just take into account that I didn't find my wife or anyone I've dated on the internet.

Whatever your theory is about love, you are entitled to.
 :D Maybe someday you and rosie will get to know each better and then you can reach out and finally find somone special.

 ;D


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 05, 2007, 03:31:03 pm
Or maybe someone you know will have a horrible dating environment like I do and wonder...  'What the hell??'

Unlike George Costanza famous for saying... "It's not you it's me."

In my case it really was the women in New York State, everyone else.

Besides most NY women are too busy goldigging and acting cuntra-dictory to share any similar experience I have ever had.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 14, 2007, 10:14:21 am
Ok, now that I do understand.
I had a lover once from NY state and well yeah, she was after nothing more then a meal ticket.
Not that every woman in NY state is like that. That I know of atleast. Yet, that one I knew was a controlling, self-centered, and very selfish in nature.

That's when I relized I love my Erie women. Atleast things are for the most part predictable and up-front about their intentions. And again, that is conditional upon how long you make them wait for a wedding ring.

Romance in this town is hot, but relationships often work better between two people who are completely comfortable with themselves. Now as it stands, I am usually happy with my life as a family man.
My only down fall in relationships is the part that winds up missing.

For the life of me, I still don't know what that is.
This is why I tryed for a time to explore new and different romantic encounters.
It was fun and exciting, but it was like ordering something you were hungry for, eating it and not feeling any satisfaction or fulfilment.

I know for a fact, That I am not gay.
I also know that I'm no less curious about other women. The two things I needed to filter into my own personal outlook on love is; I need to love me and my life. The second thing I did different was to stop going after what I wanted, and started wanting what I have.

These two things eased my longing and now I'm assuming that this must be what I need to be doing to find that one missing thing that I can't explain.

I still know in my heart that I haven't found what I am truely in search of.
Yet, I have accepted that I must honor what I have by sticking to it.
For the most part it makes me happy that I am because I am no longer hurting myself and others.
For now, this is how I show my fellow human partner(s) compassion and love.
By not hurting others for my own lacking thereof, I have seen another side to love that is always being taken for granted. Love thy neighbor as thyself.



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 17, 2007, 08:36:56 am
Yeah you go by Rochester and Buffalo where you got some Canadian women to maintain some competition it's not all that bad but the more inland you go the the more emotional baggage you'll have to deal with.

The problem is that you can meet a normal woman in NYS but still be incompatible.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Shawnadithit on May 17, 2007, 02:00:35 pm
You silly little boys,

You treat us like we are some kind of different species or that we are from another planet.

Good God, we are not much different than you.

Shawnadithit


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 17, 2007, 09:16:31 pm
 :D  In what way are we collectively treating women differently?

Oh yeah thats right it was 2 women that developed the Meyers and Briggs personality test.
Another woman wrote a book and called it "Men are from Mars & women are from Venus."

Now both of these things are very good tools for explaining whats different between the 2.
The end result, Men are always wrong and it's our fault for everything.
  ;D

Shawna, I might be reading you wrong here, and I'm sure thats all it is. However it seems like you are bitter. If you were to read back to the posts of old in the Atlantis Rising forum you'll see that I am really on your side on alot of things.

Check it out for yourself:
http://forums.atlantisrising.com/ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=15;t=000202;p=77


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Shawnadithit on May 18, 2007, 08:47:35 am
Oh, I get it. When I challenge you then you ascribe a negative personality upon me.

Your behaviour merely serves to underline my point.

You are afraid of strong independent women.

Shed the fear, young man.

Shawnadithit


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 18, 2007, 02:40:23 pm
I ascribe nothing, you said it.
 ;D
This just shows how well you don't know me.

But if it makes you feel better to veiw me that way, go ahead.
I don't mind being bashed. Most so called strong women veiw me as a threat anyways only because I'm not as weak minded as most men are accused of being. Fact of the matter is, alot them see me as the kind of guy who can take charge and not be controlling at the same time.
   
Again my dear you couldn't be more wrong about me.
I love a strong woman because I can see eye to eye with them
My problem is that everytime I thought I was with someone strong, I had my half and there half of everything to contend with.

One more thing that you don't know is;
I put the kids on the bus in the morning, do all the dishes and most of the house work. Pick my kids up from school and make them all dinner. Do the laundry, and then juggle a full time job in construction, and find time to finish remodling my home.

All because I respect my wife enough to not put it all on her.
The weekends I collect my sences and I work on my home. Then I let my hair down, I look for the other Harry that I missed all week. I can be 18 and 50 all wrapped up in one,
and I never show any disrespect to anyone.

LOL
 Insults are for children.

Shawna, I might be reading you wrong here, and I'm sure thats all it is. However it "seems" like you are bitter. If you were to read back to the posts of old in the Atlantis Rising forum you'll see that I am really on your side on alot of things.
Remember me saying this?
I think your talking about yourself here personally, but whatever.
 ;D Toodles and I hope this doesn't offend you more then I already do for some reason.

P.S. For the record PM all the women in this forum and ask them if I'm really like that. I avoid arguing most of the time because it's just not good conversation.
If I'm here to have good conversation, then I'll make time for it.

Those members here who like conflict with others know very little about me because I won't sit there and argue.
Your entitled to the way you feel hun. It's a shame that you and I can't be more civil.
All my love, and I'm sorry if you feel that way. I never ment to attack your personality.

Enjoy!


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 18, 2007, 03:25:07 pm
Here is a song for Voli in regaurds to what he's known in NY state.

Nobody's fool from cinderella:
http://www.blogmusik.net/?urlIdSong=33518


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 18, 2007, 04:01:27 pm
You silly little boys,

You treat us like we are some kind of different species or that we are from another planet.

Good God, we are not much different than you.

Shawnadithit

Except if a guy is fat another guy can say "Hey you're starting to really pack on the pounds there."  then the fat guy can either choose to ignore or agree with the statement.  Then men take supplements and go to the gym and fix the problem.

Women they turn it into a whole self-esteem issue.

Men can analyze a situation and see it for what it is.  Women process reality through their anterior cingulate cortex and read into things that are trivial and totally ignore clues that ultimately screw them over inthe larger more critical aspects of life.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Shawnadithit on May 18, 2007, 07:32:28 pm
I have never heard so much nonsense in my entire life. You Herefornow are entirely self absorbed. I do not give a damn how you feel and yet you wrote a page describing you irrelevant feelings. Good God!

And you Volitzer make ridiculous generalizations and stereotype women.

Where the Hell are the Real Men?

Shawnadithit


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 18, 2007, 09:40:16 pm
Ok?
 ;D

Some people, whoa!


Lady the spot light is on you.
The origions of love, what are they?
And as far as a real man is concerned why, don't you look to your wife for an example then.
 :D
Well your at it define a real man....
Or can you?

Above and beyond that, argue with yourself.

The only thing dumber than an ignorant person is arguing with one.
Look some where else for your drama princess.

Now let's see what your reply to this one is going to be...
Let me guess negitive and rude right?

Come on then prove me right shawna. You are just talking about yourself.
Like I said argue with yourself. This is my last post here until they do something else.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Shawnadithit on May 18, 2007, 11:12:47 pm
Your last point?

Good riddance!

Shawnadithit


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 18, 2007, 11:26:32 pm
 ;D

Don't you mean, "whats the point?"

BTW I didn't mean my last post on the topic either.. :P :-*
Here take a tissue babe!

 :'(
LOL

I'll send you some information on ****. I know your man will one day need it.
For you they make this stuff called climatique. It can cause a woman to orgasm up to twice as fast as her lover. Proven!


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 18, 2007, 11:28:52 pm
Back at the ranch:

Is the origions of love caused by dependency or was it something hard-wired into our very being?



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 19, 2007, 12:00:20 am
Yeah you go by Rochester and Buffalo where you got some Canadian women to maintain some competition it's not all that bad but the more inland you go the the more emotional baggage you'll have to deal with.

The problem is that you can meet a normal woman in NYS but still be incompatible.

Emotional baggage is all a part of it though man.
It's only an opinion on my part.
However, in order for people to know the good they have between them you almost have to endure the bad. This builds a stronger relationship.
I have never trusted a perfect moment because nothing is perfect.

This is why, I have always listened more to them when I'm being yelled at.
This is when alot of those inner thoughts tend to surface and you get a better idea of what she's thinking. Horomones play a huge factor in the way the day is going to go.



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Shawnadithit on May 19, 2007, 10:51:54 am
Herefornow, the more you say the more foolish you look. You have an undisciplined mind and are emotionally immature.

Shawnadithit


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 19, 2007, 01:22:28 pm
If I remember right I was trying to make peace with you and you kept coming for my kneck.
Like I said to you before, I won't argue with you anymore because that's pointless and stupid to do so.

On a happier note, I have friends here in whom I've enjoyed talking to for about the last 2 years.
I'll keep my focas on them.
 



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jade Hellene on May 19, 2007, 02:53:38 pm
Herefornow, the more you say the more foolish you look. You have an undisciplined mind and are emotionally immature.

Shawnadithit

Then, there are those of us who happen to like his immature and honest nature. at least he is honest about his beliefs. 

(Volitzer, of course, is on his own, as always).

As for him looking foolish - hardly. As it happens, he has made a lot of friends here.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 20, 2007, 05:37:40 am
 :) Thank you Jade..


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 21, 2007, 03:02:10 am
I have never heard so much nonsense in my entire life. You Herefornow are entirely self absorbed. I do not give a damn how you feel and yet you wrote a page describing you irrelevant feelings. Good God!

And you Volitzer make ridiculous generalizations and stereotype women.

Where the Hell are the Real Men?

Shawnadithit

You're seeing "reality" through men's eyes and I think you women feel shamed.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 21, 2007, 03:04:43 am


(Volitzer, of course, is on his own, as always).



Still processing the 'Why men are sexist towards women" topic with your anterior cingulate cortex I see.  ;)


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 21, 2007, 03:07:53 am

Where the Hell are the Real Men?

Shawnadithit

Probably off reading GQ or metrosexualizing themselves with old Full House reruns.   ;D ;D ;D


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Shawnadithit on May 21, 2007, 08:27:47 am
Herefornow you said "It "seems" like you are bitter."

and you also said "I'll send you some information on ****. I know your man will one day need it."

Now listen up. I have teenagers and my husband I have a business with 60 employees. Occasionally we hear insulting language like this and it is simply not tolerated. Inevitably, it shoots out of the carelees mouth of a 16 or 17 year old.

Understand that you are not talking to some snot nosed kid here. I am a 40+ year old woman who has been around this block and many others so many times your head would spin.

About time you grow up and be a man, Herefornow.

And you Volitzer, I do not know what the Hell you are talking about. You are circling some kind of planet I think. But it sure isn't Earth.

Shawnadithit


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jade Hellene on May 21, 2007, 09:10:47 am
You are welcome, HereforNow.



(Volitzer, of course, is on his own, as always).



Still processing the 'Why men are sexist towards women" topic with your anterior cingulate cortex I see.  ;)

Volitzer,

It is far too easy to address the faults of others (or what you perceive to be their faults).

Yours is neither wisdom or experience, and I think it long past time that we began to work on that.

So here is a little exercise for you.  In your next ten posts devoted in this thread, I would like you to address some of your own shortcomings, especially as they relate to what has hindered you in your relationships with the opposite sex.

Each post must deal with something different (no fair repreating the same post nine times).

I am betting you will find some way to wiggle out of it.  If, by some chance you don't, I'm betting you just might find yourself a deeper, more changed man by the time you are done with it. :)


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 21, 2007, 03:08:36 pm
Moderators- It's up to you now.....

You saw the conversation and you all know that to begin with I was being calm and peaceful.
I even tried to make peace with this individual.


It's an all to familiar sign.


I will not respond to her attempt to create arguments but for the sake of preserving this topic and the good conversation, I think that this needs to be adressed......
     "Again for the last time, I only stated that Shawnadithit
 seemed bitter"....


That is all I said and you all can read the rest for yourselves.
As for my statements after, I am willing to let it rest.
She isn't!

Again it's your call but I'm done with negitive, argumentive people.



As for the rest of what was said, I won't dispute that I do need to grow up.
I do.

Thing is, my being 18 in mind gives way to someone who is very passionate about what I am accomplishing and have accomplished. As a 36 year old guy, I think I would do what the others my age have done and take it all for granted.

Growing up early was something I had already done, and now having that kid in me allows me to actually live my life and have fun on occations. If this makes me a bad person then so what.
Atleast I'm grown up enough to realize whats wrong with me.

Now whats wrong with the rest of these so called grown ups my age and older who do take their lives for granted and die because of things like stress?
I won't break my own arm to pat myself on the back here, yet I'm not nearly as stressed out as most of my friends are. This is because I did keep a little bit of the kid in me.

If this is my only crime against anyone, then I will gladly plead guilty......
And you can call me Peter Pan...    ;D

Just don't judge me for the pebble in my eye until you've removed the boulder between thine shoulders.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 21, 2007, 04:53:25 pm

Where the Hell are the Real Men?

Shawnadithit

Probably off reading GQ or metrosexualizing themselves with old Full House reruns.   ;D ;D ;D

LMAO

 :o Coffee?  (_)>



That was kinds deep BTW...
Funny though!


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Shawnadithit on May 21, 2007, 05:09:21 pm
You said, "Just don't judge me for the pebble in my eye until you've removed the boulder between thine shoulders"

Sigh.

Shawnadithit


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 21, 2007, 07:38:27 pm
 ;) I know it seems I'm kinda doing the same thing, huh?

Ok Shawna, let's start over and see if we can discuss this like adults.
(extends hand)

Sincerely, I seek only to befriend and talk to people about their ideas involving different things. I just enjoy doing it as a child, and make sence of it in my head as an adult.

If it was when I said you seemed bitter, I never intended it as an insult.

From there we both bumped heads and accomplished nothing.
 :-\

I guess I could have tried to explain this earlier and that was when I deserved to be called immature.
I didn't do that and for that I'm sorry.


As I said, I'm not here to offend anyone.
I am really interested in what alot of these people here are posting because it's interesting to me. I never came to fight.

Now Shawna, can we squash our differences here?
I just want to have a good and civil debate about the topic at hand.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 21, 2007, 08:27:12 pm
You said, "Just don't judge me for the pebble in my eye until you've removed the boulder between thine shoulders"

Sigh.

Shawnadithit

Did I spell it wrong?   LOL

Is it G before the D?

Brunette moment ::)


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 21, 2007, 08:42:03 pm
You are welcome, HereforNow.



(Volitzer, of course, is on his own, as always).



Still processing the 'Why men are sexist towards women" topic with your anterior cingulate cortex I see.  ;)

Volitzer,

It is far too easy to address the faults of others (or what you perceive to be their faults).

Yours is neither wisdom or experience, and I think it long past time that we began to work on that.

So here is a little exercise for you.  In your next ten posts devoted in this thread, I would like you to address some of your own shortcomings, especially as they relate to what has hindered you in your relationships with the opposite sex.

Each post must deal with something different (no fair repreating the same post nine times).

I am betting you will find some way to wiggle out of it.  If, by some chance you don't, I'm betting you just might find yourself a deeper, more changed man by the time you are done with it. :)


You know Jade, that sounds like something that we could all do.

You wrote this to Volitzer and I began to think of how I would do that.
It would take being really honest with yourself and then thinking back to all the common resons first.
It's really hard to do....

I would love to participate in that one though.
 :)
It sounds kind of fun actually, and lord knows I have alot of issues about what I have and am doing wrong in my love life. I learned the hard way that it's not about getting what you want. It's about wanting what you have.
The thing I tend to take for granted the most is; I never did that. I still pursue the things I want more. I should be in-love my wife and deep down I'm not. This is something that is really tough for me to deal with because of all the guilt I have about it. I have friends of the opposite sex that are going through exactly the same kinds of things in their marriages and they still like to throw that same flirty smile that I do. I walk away feeling like a kid who just asked out a hottie at school and she's saying yes. (limps away)  ::)


When it comes down to the dirt and it's about to happen.
I then run the other way like a chicken, scared that I will do it.
Yet feeling like I should have.
It is a selfish thing to be feeling and it's so wrong.
The worst part is, my wife is in-love with me and she knows how I feel. I can see it in her eyes. Yet she still tells me she loves me with hugs and kisses just before she goes to bed at night. I wake up to my kids in the morning and it hits me even harder because I can't imagine not being their for them if I left.

 I will never leave them or her because I'm all she has. They all need me right now, and I have to be here for them all. My kids are my world.
Always feeling so lost when it come to love or anykind of intimate feelings. I'm so torn all the time between desire and  romance or loving the one I'm with and never giving the same effort they are.
But to be completely honest though, I have never been in love with anyone.
Because of this, I feel myself die everytime my poor wife tells me she loves me.
The guilt is almost to heavy for me to even think about. This easily rates number 1, in my own list of short-comings.
For this, I'm trying to be thankful that I do have such a great family. I'm obligated to stick with it to the end and I want too.

I just wish I could take back what I've already done wrong and never do it again.
Realistically, I should be going to see a professional about this.
I just don't want my wife to emotionally suffer anymore then she has already because I'm not in love with her. I'm simply not, and for some reason this really bothers me.
Why can't I be in love with her? She deserves to have someone just sweep her off her feet and worship the very ground she walks on. I just can't let go and simply just do that though. I'm not sure of what it is that's stopping me.
 ???

cheers!


P.S. Voli, don't even go there man.  lol
29 dimentions don't apply here.  :P
(messin with ya)


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 22, 2007, 01:42:38 am
Re: How do you know when you are in love?
« Reply #3 on: 2007-04-23, 05:39:03 » Quote 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you have to ask yourself, or do anything to figure it out then you are not in love.

I am lucky enough that I have found the love of my life.
If I was allowed but to remember her face, her smile, her wonderous eyes,  her beautiful flowing dark hair, and the love that she brings with just a kiss. If I was allowed to remember her for all time, I would give up all the lifetimes I have had and would have to come. I would die for her without a moment of thought or hesitation. I would, with the same swiftness, bring vengence to all that would dare think of harm upon her. She is my life.

If you cannot say the same, right now, without contemplation, then you are not in love.

Jake


I had to repost this reply from Jake because it was my best clue to what others have felt while they were in-love.

Jake this is one beautifully put point on your part sir....
Kudos!


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 22, 2007, 08:35:52 am
You are welcome, HereforNow.

Volitzer,

Yours is neither wisdom or experience, and I think it long past time that we began to work on that.


I have 29 dimensions and a great relationship going for me.  You are in your 20s and have yet to experience many more of life's more harsh realities.

If anything you should address what feminists are spewing these days with their limited memberships.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 22, 2007, 08:39:52 am

And you Volitzer, I do not know what the Hell you are talking about. You are circling some kind of planet I think. But it sure isn't Earth.

Shawnadithit


No, I am immersed in a reality that few women ever pick up on.  Men run the world because women don't encompass all realities.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 22, 2007, 08:57:33 am

Now listen up. I have teenagers and my husband I have a business with 60 employees. Occasionally we hear insulting language like this and it is simply not tolerated. Inevitably, it shoots out of the carelees mouth of a 16 or 17 year old.

Shawnadithit


Again this is another reality women don't want to take in.  Men go to work, swear, talk about hot chicks, burp & fart, but women wanted into the work place cuz of equality.  Okay fine.  However just cuz they got the right to work don't mean they have the right to take over.  I love it how the cuntra-culture gets to dictate what's offensive and what is tolerable workplace behavior and what aint.  In fact when I start my own company right next to anti-sexual harassment policies I will write up an anti-cuntra policies. :o

However as it now stands men can't be full men at work anymore because women committees get to determine what's offensive or not.   >:(  As far as I'm concerned they want to work there they can tolerate any environment that's not hostile.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 22, 2007, 08:58:48 am
 :-X

    Um Volitzer, I think what she (jade) is looking for is a chance to help you relize what went wrong to help you not to make the same mistakes.

    I'm thankful she thought of this. Ofcourse I think I'm more curious to see how you will answer.  LOL
 ;D


I mean no disrespect to you in anyway, but honestly Volitzer you are a king of running around this subject.
Come on man, let's be brutally honest here. Do you see anything that you could have done different atleast?


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on May 22, 2007, 10:49:49 am
You are welcome, HereforNow.

Volitzer,

Yours is neither wisdom or experience, and I think it long past time that we began to work on that.


I have 29 dimensions and a great relationship going for me.  You are in your 20s and have yet to experience many more of life's more harsh realities.

If anything you should address what feminists are spewing these days with their limited memberships.

I don't know any woman who doesn't want the things that feminism has to offer, even if not all of them take the name.  So, I don't know where this "limited membership" thing comes into it except maybe out of wishful thinking.

What I really want to address with you is this, though:

Quote
Volitzer,

It is far too easy to address the faults of others (or what you perceive to be their faults).

Yours is neither wisdom or experience, and I think it long past time that we began to work on that.

So here is a little exercise for you.  In your next ten posts devoted in this thread, I would like you to address some of your own shortcomings, especially as they relate to what has hindered you in your relationships with the opposite sex.

Each post must deal with something different (no fair repreating the same post nine times).

I am betting you will find some way to wiggle out of it.  If, by some chance you don't, I'm betting you just might find yourself a deeper, more changed man by the time you are done with it.

Here Jade gives you a pointed exercise to maybe better yourself and you just blow it off??

Women are not the problem here, your attitude towards us is, as anyone here can see.  I'd think you would likt to work on that if only so you get the chance to better yourself.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: rockessence on May 22, 2007, 12:13:41 pm
Such acid starting to flow!  Where have I seen this before.....?  Come on and say something loving about one another....

Every attempt to remain civil should not be met with scorn, please.   




Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Shawnadithit on May 22, 2007, 12:25:54 pm
I would just  like to say that I think Herefornow understands and I accept you, Herefornow. All is Forgiven. And Bless You!

But Volitzer! I mean really! This is not about how men treat women and women treat men. It is about civilized human beings treating each other with respect, dignity, consideration and kindness regardless of their age, sex or anything else. It is about respect. And the more respect, kindness and manners that you show towards others, the more they, in turn, will respect you.

And the language that you use, Volitzer. ****tra. I find this highly offensive. The fact that you use this so freely and with such hostility scares me more than it offends me. It truly does. I am not only afraid for you, I am afraid of you.

Shawnadithit


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 22, 2007, 03:45:38 pm
 :D  Hi  Jeannette Latoria, and welcome.



Bless you too Shawna...
I'm glad we resolved our differences.
Rockessence, thank you.

 :) Back at the Ranch;


Now who else wants to take a crack at exploring their own short-comings in love?
Aren't you even curious?
It's wishful thinking on my part, but I would love to hear more from the rest of you on this, before I get carried away with exploring my own dark secrets.

I have to admit, it's difficult to do.
Jade, definitely had a good idea about looking into this subject.







Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 23, 2007, 12:19:05 am
I think my number two short-coming in relationships has been my work ethic.
I have no trouble at all doing 12 hour shifts for weeks on end and this has created some minor tensions between my wife and I in the past. She gets stressed out from being couped up in the house all day with our 5 kids and my neice. I can't blame her for this either.

In this case I have learned to be more considerate to her about these matters and I let her run free on the weekends to clear her head. That's when I rent some movies and we clean the house really quick for mommy, and then kick back and relax together. She'll come back, and I'll have all the kids in bed by that time so she can relax and unwind.

This is one of things I've been doing to ease the strain of those busy months.
However, when it comes to business I have to be there and she needs to be more excepting of this for me.
I have to be half dead to miss a day of work. Especially when it's a project worth major money.
That's how it's been for years for me and when I'm trying to get something done, I can't be getting stressed out about my home life. Work is work and Home is home.

I have about 2 more weeks until the start of the next project and then I'm not going to have a whole lot of time for much of anything for atleast 8 weeks. I hope my attempt to help out more at home will make more of a difference.

I love being busy and outside either building or tearing down entire houses.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 23, 2007, 07:10:30 am
 :D   Here's one for those Tesla lovers.

I mean the band Telsa!

http://www.blogmusik.net/?urlIdSong=2952



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 23, 2007, 08:46:36 am
:-X

    Um Volitzer, I think what she (Jade) is looking for is a chance to help you relize what went wrong to help you not to make the same mistakes.

    I'm thankful she thought of this. Of course I think I'm more curious to see how you will answer.  LOL
 ;D

Okay I'll humor her... I was being sarcastic because as soon as it gets too real Jade disappears for days then comes back and never addresses any of my points.  Like the Anterior Cingulate Cortex and women's over analysis of life in general.  Would it kill her to agreee with me?? ??? 


I mean no disrespect to you in anyway, but honestly Volitzer you are a king of running around this subject.
Come on man, let's be brutally honest here. Do you see anything that you could have done different at least?

I could've been born in another part of the world.  ;)  Other than that I don't see how I can be held accountable for NY women's greedy and manipulative behavior.   :( 



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 23, 2007, 09:18:57 am
I don't know any woman who doesn't want the things that feminism has to offer, even if not all of them take the name.  So, I don't know where this "limited membership" thing comes into it except maybe out of wishful thinking.

The limited membership comes in when you get idiot feminists who claim the government needs to spend more helping millions of women fighting anorexia and bulima to the point of epidemic proportions then coming to find out it is only 10,000 to 50,000 women in the entire USA with such a problem making the more credible feminists look stupid and reactionary. 

  Besides anyone who has taken a relationship science knows full well that women would die without masculine input and approval like an unattended baby shown no affection.  So when women spout "I don't need a man to make me happy." is only fooling herself.  These type of women will always be out numbered by prostitutes whom are simply acting according to a natural order of things.

[/quote]

Quote
What I really want to address with you is this, though:

Volitzer,

So here is a little exercise for you.  In your next ten posts devoted in this thread, I would like you to address some of your own shortcomings, especially as they relate to what has hindered you in your relationships with the opposite sex.

Here Jade gives you a pointed exercise to maybe better yourself and you just blow it off??

Women are not the problem here, your attitude towards us is, as anyone here can see.  I'd think you would like to work on that if only so you get the chance to better yourself.


 :o Whoa hold on!!!!!!!!!!!   Whom here have I ever addressed as a "cuntra" ??  I have no animosity towards women here!!!  ???

Why don't you guys list some short-comings I have because my eHarmony sweetie keeps telling me that of everything I contribute to the relationship she herself was never actively pursuing when she was dating before eHarmony.  She at least admits that maybe her dating goals were off and now she loves the fact she has me in her life. :)

I'm not saying I'm even close to perfect.  However I'm am having better success with 29 dimensions than anything else I have ever tried.  So Jade's 'exercise' is welcome but I remain skeptical.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 23, 2007, 09:35:00 am
Such acid starting to flow!  Where have I seen this before.....?  Come on and say something loving about one another....

Every attempt to remain civil should not be met with scorn, please.   




There's no acidity to skepticism.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 23, 2007, 09:54:44 am
I would just  like to say that I think Herefornow understands and I accept you, Herefornow. All is Forgiven. And Bless You!

But Volitzer! I mean really! This is not about how men treat women and women treat men. It is about civilized human beings treating each other with respect, dignity, consideration and kindness regardless of their age, sex or anything else. It is about respect. And the more respect, kindness and manners that you show towards others, the more they, in turn, will respect you.

That sounds good in theory but NY has a way of being the twilight zone when it comes to kindness and relationships with the opposite sex.  True kindness should be the norm, in fact when my eHarmony sweetie came for a visit and was feeling sick I drove her to the clinic and the pharmacy.  She started to break down cuz she felt she had ruined the trip.  I gave her a long, warm and reassuring hug and told her that sickness can come at anytime and that just spending time with her made the trip worth it.  I then grabbed her hand and said well have a whole lifetime with better times ahead.  This is just a bump in the road.   :-*

And the language that you use, Volitzer. ****tra. I find this highly offensive. The fact that you use this so freely and with such hostility scares me more than it offends me. It truly does. I am not only afraid for you, I am afraid of you.

Okay here's another reality you may not be aware of.  My eHarmony sweetie has told me that constantly she sees 'Northern Romeo' types really succeed well with southern women.  As often as she has seen it she never thought it would ever happen to her and there I was. 

Yeah I have to admit she finds the C-word term just as offensive as the N-word, but the south is more up on there manners than we NY-ers are. 

Okay is that a "point"?????  My mannerisms.  This is a free and anonymous forum.  If we can't be honest here then where else??

Shawnadithit



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 23, 2007, 10:05:24 am
:D  Hi  Jeannette Latoria, and welcome.



Bless you too Shawna...
I'm glad we resolved our differences.
Rockessence, thank you.

 :) Back at the Ranch;


Now who else wants to take a crack at exploring their own short-comings in love?
Aren't you even curious?
It's wishful thinking on my part, but I would love to hear more from the rest of you on this, before I get carried away with exploring my own dark secrets.

I have to admit, it's difficult to do.
Jade, definitely had a good idea about looking into this subject.


Right like using 29 dimensions as a guide would be all that hard despite it's proven success with me.   ;)

I think this is going to turn out to be a waste of time with Jade's Anterior Cingulate Cortex but okay prove me wrong.  I've bitten.   :-\


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on May 23, 2007, 11:03:09 am
Thanks for the welcome, HFN.

Quote
So Jade's 'exercise' is welcome but I remain skeptical.

Fine, so do her exercise:

Quote
Here is a little exercise for you.  In your next ten posts devoted in this thread, I would like you to address some of your own shortcomings, especially as they relate to what has hindered you in your relationships with the opposite sex.

Each post must deal with something different (no fair repreating the same post nine times).

I am betting you will find some way to wiggle out of it.  If, by some chance you don't, I'm betting you just might find yourself a deeper, more changed man by the time you are done with it.
:)


I'm actually with Jade on this, though.  You seem like the kind of guy who likes to blame others for his own shortcomings, so I doubt you will have the inner courage or integrity to do it.

Jeannette



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Shawnadithit on May 23, 2007, 11:49:19 am
Right you are Jeanette. He is too self centered and set in his ways. He is also afraid. He cannot do it.

Shawnadithit


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 23, 2007, 12:50:33 pm
Right like using 29 dimensions as a guide would be all that hard despite it's proven success with me.   

I think this is going to turn out to be a waste of time with Jade's Anterior Cingulate Cortex but okay prove me wrong.  I've bitten.   
Posted on: Today at 09:54:44Posted by: Volitzer 







Now acknowledging what does work within the 29 demensions, is there anything pacific that ended the other attempts with some of the relationships you've already been in through Eharmony?
Was any of it something you may have said or done? NY is not the only reason things have been so unsuccessful.
I see materialism and control being two major issues in alot of break ups in my kneck of the north.
Confidence plays a role in how the beginning of a relationship plays out as well.
I have a theory that less confident people seek to control how a relationship works.
Expectations tend to become alot more unrealistic.

In regaurds to my own experience, I used to have these very same issues with confidence.
It wasn't until I started feeling more confident about myself that it hit me.
I used to be that controlling, insecure male.

Wannabe Alpha male if you will, and I was actually more of an omega.
After I hit my late 20's,early 30's I became more secure about who I am and it's been a kind of quest to better myself emotionally.




Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 23, 2007, 02:37:57 pm
Right you are Jeanette. He is too self centered and set in his ways. He is also afraid. He cannot do it.

Shawnadithit

Look we are all flawed human beings.  :o  >:( The only thing I can see that has ever hindered my success is incompatibility, and a user-culture. :'(  Just cuz I may or may not be compatible with any of you ladies  ;)  here doesn't automatically disqualify me from having the love of my life.  :)

I notice none of you have mentioned anything that disqualifies me from a loving relationship.   In fact if I hadn't mentioned all the evils of the cuntra-culture of renegade feminists we wouldn't even be having this conversation.   ;D

As far as being self-centered I baby-sit every day for my nieces.  My sis-in-law even said she wished she had an uncle like me.

I'll take your pock shots now but I'd think carefully of the critera you are using.  Your call. :-X :-X


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Shawnadithit on May 23, 2007, 03:21:38 pm
poor nieces


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 23, 2007, 03:25:24 pm
Right like using 29 dimensions as a guide would be all that hard despite it's proven success with me.   

I think this is going to turn out to be a waste of time with Jade's Anterior Cingulate Cortex but okay prove me wrong.  I've bitten.   
Posted on: Today at 09:54:44Posted by: Volitzer 







Now acknowledging what does work within the 29 demensions, is there anything pacific that ended the other attempts with some of the relationships you've already been in through Eharmony?

Yeah they were fraudulent in their profiles.  Honesty is necessary for a compatible relationship to work.  

Was any of it something you may have said or done? NY is not the only reason things have been so unsuccessful.

Sure it has, much like good parking spaces, the good ones are taken the rest are handicapped.  ;D

I see materialism and control being two major issues in all of of break ups in my neck of the north.

Thank you someone else sees the cuntra-culture for what it is.

Confidence plays a role in how the beginning of a relationship plays out as well.
I have a theory that less confident people seek to control how a relationship works.
Expectations tend to become alot more unrealistic.

Dimension #29 Dominance vs. Submissiveness.  Not just a theory but a key dimension.  I see someone has been reading.  Good job.

In regards to my own experience, I used to have these very same issues with confidence.
It wasn't until I started feeling more confident about myself that it hit me.
I used to be that controlling, insecure male.

I use to be insecure, but after going thru eHarmony I realize I have a lot to offer the right woman and if NY women are too dumb to realize it than it sucks to be them.

Wannabe Alpha male if you will, and I was actually more of an omega.
After I hit my late 20's,early 30's I became more secure about who I am and it's been a kind of quest to better myself emotionally.

My girlfriend is doing her part, there's always some tweaking going on in any relationship.  





Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 23, 2007, 03:33:45 pm
poor nieces

I have a better relationship with my nieces than some fathers have with their own kids.  Dimension #6 Understandings about family, Dimension #7 Family Background, & Dimension # 28 Kindness.   ;)


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 23, 2007, 04:40:07 pm
  :D Volitzer, I use to be insecure, but after going thru eHarmony I realize I have a lot to offer the right woman and if NY women are too dumb to realize it than it sucks to be them.
     


Granted, we all have alot to offer the right ones.  As the story goesth, with these dimensions of compatability. We are imperfect, with much of our present being.
Compatibilty, isn't enough sometimes.  As I'm finding out the hard way like everything.
It's better to give then to receive. My problem is I don't know how too.

Plainly and honestly!

And to this day, I still don't understand this thing about control.
That's because it doesn't matter who's wearing the pants. I should be more intent on taking care of them all. Priorities and care thereof is both of our job. That sometimes can heal our wounds and help us complete the mission and we know it's outta love.

Without the bad, you can be as compatible as any 58 dimensions, and that's all you have between you.

Seeing through to the end is love.



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 24, 2007, 08:26:23 am
  :D Volitzer, I use to be insecure, but after going thru eHarmony I realize I have a lot to offer the right woman and if NY women are too dumb to realize it than it sucks to be them.
     


Granted, we all have alot to offer the right ones.  As the story goesth, with these dimensions of compatability. We are imperfect, with much of our present being.
Compatibilty, isn't enough sometimes.  As I'm finding out the hard way like everything.
It's better to give then to receive. My problem is I don't know how too.

Plainly and honestly!

Compatibility is 85% of it and chemistry is the other 15%.

And to this day, I still don't understand this thing about control.
That's because it doesn't matter who's wearing the pants. I should be more intent on taking care of them all. Priorities and care thereof is both of our job. That sometimes can heal our wounds and help us complete the mission and we know it's outta love.

Again dimension # 29 Dominance versus Submissiveness.  My girlfriend and I are of the consensus and compromise mindset.  Unless a life talent allows the other more experience in which they should lead like her with insurance and beauracratic and me with aerodynamics we usually try for consensus before moving forward with anything.  This is what makes us compatible.  She has told me one time how this one guy she knows is totally dominated by this one ex-NY woman living in Florida.  To her it would be too stressful if she had to make all the decisions all of the time.  Other women, they want to set the agenda in a relationship, while others like to be dominated in a relationship.  Only submissive/dominance compatability will determine happiness or hell with dimension.

Without the bad, you can be as compatible as any 58 dimensions, and that's all you have between you.

 ???

Seeing through to the end is love.

Ambition and Adaptability; Dimensions 16 & 27.   ;)



 :)


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Shawnadithit on May 24, 2007, 09:44:25 am
Volitzer has reduced love to a set of arbitrary rules made up by some schmuck profitting from lovelorn losers.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 24, 2007, 10:03:03 am
LMOA Alright Volitzer you win brother. I will back off man.
 ;D Crazy.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 24, 2007, 10:05:43 am
Turn me loose; From an old band called Loverboy
http://www.blogmusik.net/?urlIdSong=67234





Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 24, 2007, 10:06:25 am
Volitzer has reduced love to a set of arbitrary rules made up by some schmuck profitting from lovelorn losers.

See this is just the type of glass ceiling women like you erect than you **** about 'male-opppression'.  :o

For all the female relationship experts out there, Dr. Neil Clark Warren and his eHarmony team has 33,000 marriages a year to their credit.  That and a growing membership from 2 million in 2003 to 8 million in 2006.   8)

But go ahead and continue to use your anterior cingulate cortex to wonder if a female friend of yours is having a boyfriend cheat on her if he has to work late or buys a bag of chips.  Maybe when the paranoia finally drives him away you and she can have a good cry session together.  ::)

I don't know the reason for your narrow-mindedness...  ??? ??? ??? but Jade's is simple.   :D  If women are having successful relationships with compatible men, feminists continue to loose even more members.   ;D ;D


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 24, 2007, 10:11:24 am
LMOA Alright Volitzer you win brother. I will back off man.
 ;D Crazy.


eHarmony busts the myth that women are the relationship experts and women like Shawna and Jade Hate it!!!    ;D


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 24, 2007, 10:17:47 am
This song is something I wanted to play for us 30 and 40's people that miss all those old love songs.

Reunited; Peaches and Herb
http://www.blogmusik.net/?urlIdSong=23482

I might not know how to be in love, but I know romance....
I do that well.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Shawnadithit on May 24, 2007, 10:46:49 am
Volitzer, you are so angry. And you vent your anger out on women who do not meet your absurd paradigm.

You want to slot me into this bizarre paradigm yourself. I assure you, I hardly fit your paradigm. I am an immigrant. I have been married for 20+ years. I have two teenagers. My husband and I own a business. We are exceedingly "average" in every way.

You are scary and you make people like me very afraid of you.

I am glad that I have the anonymity of this forum to protect me. I would never, ever associate myself with someone like you.

Shawnadithit



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 24, 2007, 10:53:14 am
Shawna, what country are you from?


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Shawnadithit on May 24, 2007, 11:05:14 am
All that matters is that I am an American.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 24, 2007, 11:24:15 am
Volitzer, you are so angry. And you vent your anger out on women who do not meet your absurd paradigm.

Uh-huh another tactic... when you're losing the argument play the victim.

You want to slot me into this bizarre paradigm yourself. I assure you, I hardly fit your paradigm. I am an immigrant. I have been married for 20+ years. I have two teenagers. My husband and I own a business. We are exceedingly "average" in every way.

I don't know you well enough to slot you anywhere.  In fact if you're successfully married and care for kids I don't see why you are taking offense to any of this.   You found a soulmate the old fashion way.  That's great.  Most people like me just aint that lucky tho.

You are scary and you make people like me very afraid of you.

 ::)  These forums are anonymous so that certain truths can be typed here without the social fears that hold society hostage.   I could be the next samaritan who helps you with a flat tire or keeps a friend of yours safe from an abusive boyfriend.

I am glad that I have the anonymity of this forum to protect me. I would never, ever associate myself with someone like you.

Spare me the victim routine, no one's buying it.  ::)  You came here because there was a part of you that wanted to expand your horizons.  Now that you have seen a reality unfamiliar to you, you are uneasy.  This is understandable, however to go the route of the victim is something, quite frankly, immature  from a woman in her 40s.

Shawnadithit

Volitzer  ;)



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jade Hellene on May 24, 2007, 11:31:34 am
Volitzer has reduced love to a set of arbitrary rules made up by some schmuck profitting from lovelorn losers.

See this is just the type of glass ceiling women like you erect than you **** about 'male-opppression'.  :o

For all the female relationship experts out there, Dr. Neil Clark Warren and his eHarmony team has 33,000 marriages a year to their credit.  That and a growing membership from 2 million in 2003 to 8 million in 2006.   8)

But go ahead and continue to use your anterior cingulate cortex to wonder if a female friend of yours is having a boyfriend cheat on her if he has to work late or buys a bag of chips.  Maybe when the paranoia finally drives him away you and she can have a good cry session together.  ::)

I don't know the reason for your narrow-mindedness...  ??? ??? ??? but Jade's is simple.   :D  If women are having successful relationships with compatible men, feminists continue to loose even more members.   ;D ;D

Wrong, and your logic, as always, is illogical, silly and stupid.  By your logic, a woman can't be both a feminist and have relationships. Do you realize how moronic you sound?  Of course not, you wear your sexism on your sleeve like a badge of honor.

Eharmony is just another business out to get your money.  Place your faith in it if you will, but let's not split hairs here - they don't care about you, your happiness, or your compatability, they are just out to make money.  Sorry to burst your bubble, Volitzer.    

And, no matter how many times you engage in wishful thinking, feminism is not losing members.  I am sure you wish it was, because than you imagine a man like yourself would have more luck with women, but feminist or not, a very limited number of females would put up with your sexism and short-sightedness, Volitzer.  But, believe as you like.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jade Hellene on May 24, 2007, 11:33:33 am
By the way, I knew you would be too cowardly to take me up on my challenge, Volitzer, thanks for not disappointing me:

Quote
So here is a little exercise for you.  In your next ten posts devoted in this thread, I would like you to address some of your own shortcomings, especially as they relate to what has hindered you in your relationships with the opposite sex.
Each post must deal with something different (no fair repreating the same post nine times).

I am betting you will find some way to wiggle out of it.  If, by some chance you don't, I'm betting you just might find yourself a deeper, more changed man by the time you are done with it.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Shawnadithit on May 24, 2007, 11:35:44 am
Oh, so now I am a victim and you are a hero who is going to rescue me when I am in distress.

You live in a fantasy world.

You take your failures out on women.

You make ridiculous assumptions about women.

You are hostile towards women.

You are a very scary person.

I do not like you.

Shawnadithit



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 24, 2007, 12:04:17 pm

Wrong, and your logic, as always, is illogical, silly and stupid.  By your logic, a woman can't be both a feminist and have relationships. Do you realize how moronic you sound?  Of course not, you wear your sexism on your sleeve like a badge of honor.

Let's see who has a bigger membership base.  eHarmony or N.O.W. 

Eharmony is just another business out to get your money.  Place your faith in it if you will, but let's not split hairs here - they don't care about you, your happiness, or your compatability, they are just out to make money.  Sorry to burst your bubble, Volitzer.

Go to www.harrisinteractivepolling.com and get independent verification there Jade.  You'll see how they've done a lot more for marriages than any feminist group has ever done.     

And, no matter how many times you engage in wishful thinking, feminism is not losing members.

It does now the victim-mentality mindset has dominated it.

I am sure you wish it was, because than you imagine a man like yourself would have more luck with women,

I am doing fine with my eHarmony sweetie.  Besides I know I am not compatible with all women and I don't try to be.

but feminist or not, a very limited number of females would put up with your sexism and short-sightedness, Volitzer.

They too can find their soulmate, no matter how incompatible we are.

But, believe as you like.

I'm sexist cuz I call it like I see it.  Everyone other man sees it the same but get a 'sexist' rap if they say anything.   I'm just braver, and to think real women used to find such a trai admirable in men.  Feminism really screws with the mind.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 24, 2007, 12:16:26 pm
Oh, so now I am a victim and you are a hero who is going to rescue me when I am in distress.

That's your husband's job.  I said a female friend of yours.

You live in a fantasy world.

At least I keep my facts straight.

You take your failures out on women.

Like women are succeeding so well themselves and couldn't use some pointers.  Thanks to eHarmony I am now in the success category. 

You make ridiculous assumptions about women.

Like what??

A little too much reality caving in there Shawna.

You are hostile towards women.

Only the emotionally manipulative.

You are a very scary person.

The truth can be painful at times.

I do not like you.

Men don't need feminine approval, it is only you women that need masculine approval to keep your self-esteems intact.   I won't be held hostage to your victim-game.  Sorry.

Shawnadithit

Volitzer




Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 24, 2007, 12:26:40 pm
The origions of love was not based on any of this.

Love is an unexplainable emotion that you feel for those you care for and about.
This debate has nothing to do with it's origions.

It has more to do with what isn't love as it is.
 :-\


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 24, 2007, 12:29:30 pm
By the way, I knew you would be too cowardly to take me up on my challenge, Volitzer, thanks for not disappointing me:

So here is a little exercise for you.  In your next ten posts devoted in this thread, I would like you to address some of your own shortcomings, especially as they relate to what has hindered you in your relationships with the opposite sex.
Each post must deal with something different (no fair repreating the same post nine times).

I am betting you will find some way to wiggle out of it.  If, by some chance you don't, I'm betting you just might find yourself a deeper, more changed man by the time you are done with it.

I have shortcomings like any human being.  However none of them are in a "red flag" category that is hindering my relationship at present.  Just cuz I am not compatible with you or Shawna you think I am totally hopeless.  Typical feminist thinking.  Conform to the agenda or be lost.  Well relationships just don't work like that.  I feel bad that someone as young as you has been so corrupted.  :(


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 24, 2007, 12:32:41 pm
The origions of love was not based on any of this.

Love is an unexplainable emotion that you feel for those you care for and about.
This debate has nothing to do with it's origins.

It has more to do with what isn't love as it is.
 :-\

Yeah but the successful loving relationships are the compatible ones.

You can love a lot of incompatible people but success will be fleeting at best.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 24, 2007, 12:35:05 pm
Deep in my heart I feel something for someone that I have never seen nor met.
I would live and die for this person and I don't even know who she is.

All my attempts to feel this for other women has failed.
It's something thats apart from my existence now.

This has hindered my ability to express my deepest love for anyone else.
 I will always love lots of people for who and what they are to me. As well as those who are willing to do the same for everyone else.
My one true love, is a mystery to me though.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on May 24, 2007, 03:28:40 pm
Quote
Let's see who has a bigger membership base.  eHarmony or N.O.W.
 

What a ridiculous comparison, feminism does not supply dating services, and just because a woman uses a dating service doesn't means she's not a feminist.

And I've heard that eharmony is a ripoff.  You don't really give them your money, do you, Volitzer??


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on May 24, 2007, 03:33:13 pm
Deep in my heart I feel something for someone that I have never seen nor met.
I would live and die for this person and I don't even know who she is.

All my attempts to feel this for other women has failed.
It's something thats apart from my existence now.

This has hindered my ability to express my deepest love for anyone else.
 I will always love lots of people for who and what they are to me. As well as those who are willing to do the same for everyone else.
My one true love, is a mystery to me though.


Gee, that sounds romantic.  With all due respect, HFN, I think you really need to meet and spend some time with someone, maybe even live with them before you decide whether you are actually in love or not.  People have a lot of different moods and sides to themselves!  Just because someone might be prettier than the person you are with now doesn't mean they will make you any happier. There are all kinds of anguish that a woman, or a man can create.  And people who are the most beautiful physically can also be the most demanding. 


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 24, 2007, 03:59:26 pm
I would completely agree with you on that if I was singal sweety.
Thing is, I married someone that I was not in-love with.

It's making my bed and lying in it.
Leaving it all is not an option for me. I must see this through.
I guess on that note I shouldn't complain.
As far as the attractive part, I have never considered or based anything on the way my former or present mate looked. It's always been more companionship and respect that kept me coming back.
I just couldn't love them back as much as I was, and am loved now.
This is kinda tough for me to admit so I'm going to kinda let it die there, but you definitely do have a good point for the others to consider. Thank you for expressing that Jeannette and I hope the very best for you and yours. Another truth that still remains to be exposed is how I became the way I am. That is something I can only guess at.
I don't mean to nail everyone with music today but, this one kinda says it all.
http://www.blogmusik.net/?urlIdSong=76042

To take my mind off of those things in my life that kill me slowly, I listen to songs like this to take it back to those times I didn't care.

Like when my heart is racing and my only thought was survival.
http://www.blogmusik.net/?urlIdSong=39596

Alot of people here know what I do for fun so they may understand this song a little bit.
I have a habbit of causing my loved one hair loss and heart failure.  ;D
I don't think that I will ever give up my wreckless need to scare the living day lights out of myself though.
Some challenges are just so right, and I love being able to perform these stunts.
And no! Not like the ones you see on J___A__.
Not to mention that it lowers stress much faster then good sex even, LOL.
(kidding)


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 25, 2007, 08:58:35 am
Quote
Let's see who has a bigger membership base.  eHarmony or N.O.W.
 

What a ridiculous comparison, feminism does not supply dating services, and just because a woman uses a dating service doesn't means she's not a feminist.

What does 'feminism' supply??

Feminists help the International-Socialist-Order destroy traditional nuclear families.  eHarmony is trying to restore them.

What is N.O.W.'s incentive plan to join?? 

If I couldn't get in could I file a sexism and discrimination suit?? 


And I've heard that eharmony is a ripoff.  You don't really give them your money, do you, Volitzer??

 Paradigm shift !!!!!

It isn't if you are over 30 and know what you want in a relationship.  The 18 to 29 demographic there female-wise haven't been the most relationship focused from what I've experienced.

Yes I did.  Best $300 I ever invested.  What would you have to to show if you gave the same $300 to a battered women's shelter or anorexics-anonymous??  Now I have a soulmate to which I can spend the rest of my life with.  What would N.O.W. do with that money??  Put out some useless newsletters.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Shawnadithit on May 25, 2007, 09:37:25 am
You are very cruel, Volitzer.

You are full of hate.

You are full of resentment.

You are a disgusting excuse for a man.

Shawnadithit


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 25, 2007, 09:54:34 am
You are very cruel, Volitzer.

Or as we call it in America... experience and critical thinking.

You are full of hate.

Until eHarmony I used to be.  Now I realize that it was all incompatability.

You are full of resentment.

Hmmm... I have to agree with you on this one.  I took a women's studies course in college and it was no where as informative as Neil Clark Warren's book "Date or Soul Mate". 

You are a disgusting excuse for a man.

Jealousy will get you no where.

Shawnadithit

 ;) Volitzer


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 25, 2007, 10:00:41 am
Deep in my heart I feel something for someone that I have never seen nor met.
I would live and die for this person and I don't even know who she is.

All my attempts to feel this for other women has failed.
It's something thats apart from my existence now.

This has hindered my ability to express my deepest love for anyone else.
I will always love lots of people for who and what they are to me. As well as those who are willing to do the same for everyone else.
My one true love, is a mystery to me though.


www.eharmony.com

Be honest with your personality profile questions, the more accurate the answer the better the match ups.

:)


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 25, 2007, 01:04:28 pm
 :D
Understanding where my wife and I are compatible is not my problem.

Aside from that small abcents of mine, her and I click in everyway, shape and form.
As I stated, I'm the only other family my wife has and I will provide and defend my family's togetherness to the grave. Knowing what I know today, is how I am preparing myself spiritually for the answers I need to be set free.

Until then I will remain, and I shall except what is and will be until that day


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on May 25, 2007, 01:38:01 pm
Volitzer,

I have never had to pay an internet dating service to hook up with a guy, and, once again, all I have heard about eharmony says they are a scam and just out to get your money.  If you had to do that in order to not be alone, did it ever occur to you that the problem was with you, not the women you were seeing? 

It's all about chemistry, either you have it with someone or you don't, and the only thing that can tell you if you are right for one another is if you spend some time together.  Anyone who tells you differently is full of it.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on May 25, 2007, 01:41:39 pm
Herefornow, you really sound unhappy. This is probably some bad advice in some people's eyes, but did it ever occur to you to have an affair, get it out of your system and see what you may or may not be missing? Could be that you aren't missing anything.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 26, 2007, 08:35:29 am
Volitzer,

I have never had to pay an internet dating service to hook up with a guy, and, once again, all I have heard about eharmony says they are a scam and just out to get your money.  If you had to do that in order to not be alone, did it ever occur to you that the problem was with you, not the women you were seeing? 

Well your still young yet and guys are still attracted to you.   Let's see, I've succeeded, they have 33,000 marriages a year confirmed by Harris Interactive Polling.  Have you ever been to New York State and experienced the cuntra-culture??  You know that movie 'As Good As It Gets' with Helen Hunt and Jack Nicholson??  Watch that movie and see the cuntly-dynamic in action.  Helen Hunt is amazing.  She's such a good spirited person yet she got that cuntress role down so well, that true acting.  Another thing if women here were successful with men and were forming nuclear families I may scrutinize myself closer.  Most are seperated, on welfare, or waiting to get their kids back from social-services after they get done with their parenting classes.  I am college educated and great with kids.  So of course these traits are useless in the cuntra-culture here.  So no, after 30 years I've pretty much concluded that it is the cuntra-culture in New York State.   

It's all about chemistry, either you have it with someone or you don't, and the only thing that can tell you if you are right for one another is if you spend some time together.  Anyone who tells you differently is full of it.

Chemistry is 15% and compatibility is 85%.  Who ever gives you your information about eHarmony is full of it.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 26, 2007, 08:40:06 am
Herefornow, you really sound unhappy. This is probably some bad advice in some people's eyes, but did it ever occur to you to have an affair, get it out of your system and see what you may or may not be missing? Could be that you aren't missing anything.

That's right break up a marriage in a painful way.  "Have an affair."  ::)

Take a compatibility test.  Fail it, then use that for grounds for divorce then go to eHarmony and find your soulmate.

Your right Jeannette that is really bad advice.   Encouraging Herefornow to hurt his wife like that rather than ending it amicably first before moving on.  Talk about insensitive. 


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 26, 2007, 03:19:08 pm
Jeannette, as much as I hate to admit this.
I have done that too.

It was a beautiful relationship that went on and on until things became complicated with conditions.
My wife was sick with pain and anger and so was the woman I was involved with.
Her and my wife are both friends of mine, and thankfully still are. Again, I found myself caught in an emotional yo-yo that brought me no greater understanding nor satisfaction. I now have two hurt people and in the process I hurt everyone that was there and who heard about it through the old grape-vine. I was completely busted, with no if, and, or buts about it.
I sat through everyone yelling and screaming at me with nothing to say, apologizing pointlessly. Hours later, Her and I talked. I agreed to leave with no troubles and I was ready to give my all to her and only 2 kids when it happened.
I would not have just left them with nothing. I handed her my account numbers for the banks, the deed, and the title to my truck.

Then all my in-laws showed up and walked in like always. My wife began to cry and then as a family they all hugged me and asked me to atleast try to work through it. My wife then asked me to stay.
At that moment, I wasn't sure of what I felt but I knew it was the best thing to do for my children and my wife.

I flirt all the time now. I had to give up on cheating though. It hurts everybody. I never want to cause another human being to suffer like that ever again.
Morrison told me that it's was selfish to place the responsiblity on someone else when it comes to love. He was right on the money with that one. It's not up to someone else to bring me happiness.
It's more up to me to figure out what it is I am looking for in life.

It just bothers me that I had to discover these truths as late as I did.
At the same time, I still try to make everyone here at home happy.
Atleast then my kids don't suffer because of my stupidity.

I'm sorry to sound so unhappy and I am really not as misurable or negitive as it all may sound.
I just have some issues that I am finally dealing with after all these years, and I'm terrified to hurt anyone else.

As my old affair once said,"I loved, loving you, only to wind up hating that I ever did."

It was a humbling statement to say the least.
My wife called me by name and just said, " I want you to stay, we love you."

You can only imagine how sinking that was to me.
Now I will just try to love everyone the best I can.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 27, 2007, 12:37:42 am
Now that you all know my honest life's path on love, how many of you would date me?  :P
 ;) (flirty grin)

Back at the ranch;

Herefornow, you really sound unhappy. This is probably some bad advice in some people's eyes, but did it ever occur to you to have an affair, get it out of your system and see what you may or may not be missing? Could be that you aren't missing anything.
And Volitzer, it really is the only advice you can give when it comes down to it.
Basically, it was something that I had already done and found out the hard way was a horrible
crime on my part.

Don't be so hard on her on this man.  :)
She didn't know that it was something I've experienced already.
Hell, you probably didn't think it was something I would do and I did.

 :D Doesn't matter now though. If I decided that I wanted to be with someone else or even sleep with someone, I would go about it responsibly and explain my feelings to my wife before going behind her back and doing anything. I've been put to that test a few different times and passed it easily.
 My wife is entirely the most faithful person I know, and yet I know if she wanted someone else for keeps or the moment. She would surely do the same for me.
 ;) I tested that before we got married and she passed up a real hunk, and even told me she wanted to at first.

I was young though, so the lil' games were how I weeded out my insecurities.
Now 9 years later, the objective is survival and partnership.
This is something her and I do quite well together as parents and hunter/gatherers......

And this is what I beleive lead to the origions of love in our most distant codependent stage of creation/evolution.

Yet what can we gain by knowing how to love if it's not spiritually hard-wired into our very being in this stage of our growing?
 


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on May 27, 2007, 01:39:52 am
Herefornow, you really sound unhappy. This is probably some bad advice in some people's eyes, but did it ever occur to you to have an affair, get it out of your system and see what you may or may not be missing? Could be that you aren't missing anything.

That's right break up a marriage in a painful way.  "Have an affair."  ::)

Take a compatibility test.  Fail it, then use that for grounds for divorce then go to eHarmony and find your soulmate.

Your right Jeannette that is really bad advice.   Encouraging Herefornow to hurt his wife like that rather than ending it amicably first before moving on.  Talk about insensitive. 

I never said it was bad advice, I said it may be considered that in some people's eyes (not mine, and, I assume, not his).

Since she knows that he isn't in love with her, I assume that has already hurt her to some extent.  Also, just because he has an affair doesn't mean that the marriage has to break up - he doesn't have to tell her about it. 

It's his happiness we are discussing here, not hers. For all we know, she could care less if he was screwing around.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on May 27, 2007, 01:48:18 am
Quote
Well your still young yet and guys are still attracted to you.   Let's see, I've succeeded, they have 33,000 marriages a year confirmed by Harris Interactive Polling.  Have you ever been to New York State and experienced the cuntra-culture??  You know that movie 'As Good As It Gets' with Helen Hunt and Jack Nicholson??  Watch that movie and see the cuntly-dynamic in action.  Helen Hunt is amazing.  She's such a good spirited person yet she got that cuntress role down so well, that true acting.  Another thing if women here were successful with men and were forming nuclear families I may scrutinize myself closer.  Most are seperated, on welfare, or waiting to get their kids back from social-services after they get done with their parenting classes.  I am college educated and great with kids.  So of course these traits are useless in the cuntra-culture here.  So no, after 30 years I've pretty much concluded that it is the cuntra-culture in New York State.   


If I remember the Helen Hunt role in As Good as it Gets, she was a single mom with a lousy job trying to take care of her sick son.  If that is your definition of a "cunta," that apparently being someone too busy to show you any attention, that's not only sad, but hopeless. 

Quote
Chemistry is 15% and compatibility is 85%.  Who ever gives you your information about eHarmony is full of it.


Chemistry and compatability work hand in hand, my dear.  You can be compatabile with all sorts of people, unless you are both attracted to one another and it's the bond that draws you together, there ain't no action.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 27, 2007, 06:45:52 am
Herefornow, you really sound unhappy. This is probably some bad advice in some people's eyes, but did it ever occur to you to have an affair, get it out of your system and see what you may or may not be missing? Could be that you aren't missing anything.

That's right break up a marriage in a painful way.  "Have an affair."  ::)

Take a compatibility test.  Fail it, then use that for grounds for divorce then go to eHarmony and find your soulmate.

Your right Jeannette that is really bad advice.   Encouraging Herefornow to hurt his wife like that rather than ending it amicably first before moving on.  Talk about insensitive. 

I never said it was bad advice, I said it may be considered that in some people's eyes (not mine, and, I assume, not his).

Since she knows that he isn't in love with her, I assume that has already hurt her to some extent.  Also, just because he has an affair doesn't mean that the marriage has to break up - he doesn't have to tell her about it. 

It's his happiness we are discussing here, not hers. For all we know, she could care less if he was screwing around.

Having an affair is never a good option.  Break it off then proceed to look for love elsewhere.

So your boyfriend may have a problem with you and rather than discuss it with you you'd rather he had an affair?? ???  WHAT!!!!!!   :o


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 27, 2007, 06:53:50 am

If I remember the Helen Hunt role in As Good as it Gets, she was a single mom with a lousy job trying to take care of her sick son.

Yeah who basically gave Jack a hard time when he was being nice to her.  That's how women are here treat them like s*** they'll flock to an abuser.  Be nice to them and get a hard time.  This is how I define a cuntra.  As in like the spanish term 'contra' which means against.  A cuntra is against anything productive and flourishing.  Jack tried to be nice and she acted quite the ****.  A true cuntra in every sense of the word.


If that is your definition of a "cuntra," that apparently being someone too busy to show you any attention, that's not only sad, but hopeless.


It isn't!!!  8)


Quote
Chemistry and compatability work hand in hand, my dear.  You can be compatabile with all sorts of people, unless you are both attracted to one another and it's the bond that draws you together, there ain't no action. 

Okay we are in agreement on this point.   :)


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 27, 2007, 12:23:08 pm
Now that I think of it, I answered my own questions...

Ok, then this means I'm either nuts or forgot and recalled it.
This now suggests in theory that we have all been on this earth all along and it's the same life essence mixed with everything from each age of existence.
My thoughts lead astray with a feeling I will try to explain.
Only a kind of theory, so don't hold me to it.
Those in whom we are connected with are some of the same people we were connected with from the beginning. This means that sooner or later the ages of man will not dwell here in this physical realm.
Every age was different from the one before it. All that can be different now is how we exist.

Love is a spiritual connection to the life energy of the very heavens, and all living things are connected.
It changes by being manipulated by our natural positive and negitive individual energies.
To hate is to bring more negitive energy, and to love is to save the world by replenishing it with abundent life through love.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 27, 2007, 07:18:38 pm
 ;D  Not to change the subject here, but I have been way to occupied with writing about my short-comings. I really am interested in how the rest of you have fell in-and/or out of love.

Is there anyone else here that is willing to share their success or failure?

 :) I know I'm not alone here. Even though it is a blessing that you haven't gone through something like this and you are very lucky.
    Then again, maybe your just not comfortable with discussing these things here in a forum. Either way, if you can relate to where I'm coming from. I'm all ears.
Collectively, we might be able to figure out how to be more accepting or better at expressing our feelings. Even if you are in a relationship that you feel could be more productive. Put it out there.

Ever since Jade challenged Volitzer origionally, I feel that facing my true feelings was a very big part of what I needed to do. Atleast now, I don't have that adding to the weight on my shoulders. I finally got that off my chest and I feel a little better.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 28, 2007, 07:11:16 am
Hell everyone knows my story.

I needed eHarmony to find a soul-mate to overcome the cuntra-culture of New York State.  I used to think it was me but thanks to eHarmony it proved it wasn't.

At some point I'll  post all 29 dimensions here.  This way everyone can gain a better insight as to what I am talking about.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Shawnadithit on May 28, 2007, 09:12:28 am
Wrong again idiot. It is women who reject your cocktra culture.



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 28, 2007, 11:34:30 am
Volitzer- I'm kinda curious to see what eHarmony bases the profiling on.

I'm not going to sell out now, and join or anything.  ;D

Yet I need to understand how they are attempting to explain love scientifically.
I wanna try understanding it objectively with no bias. Even though, I'm a non-beleiver.  ::)

I still wanna see where your coming from on all of this.
 :o Oh yeah and that last youtube song at the coffee shop was pretty cool.
LOL
I'll post you some system of a down later.
And yes I remember some of the mosh pits I've been in.
Stay outta of the middle. :) Ofcourse that was 20 years or so ago.
Except for when Metallica was in town last. Awesome concert.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 28, 2007, 11:51:08 am
Jeannette- For the sake of conversation;

What do you feel is one of the most appearent emotions or feelings you get when you are in-love?

 :)

Heck, while we're at it;
What are some of things you have always wanted in a relationship, but never came to be?



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 28, 2007, 11:55:38 am
Jade, Dawn, Jennie!  (Calls into the wilderness)

Where are you guys?
 :D

Come on slackers.....
You too Trent and Morrison..

Stacy and Pagan are MIA too.
Hmmm
 :-\

I'm curious to see how everyone is doing, that's all.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on May 28, 2007, 02:47:08 pm
Jeannette- For the sake of conversation;

What do you feel is one of the most appearent emotions or feelings you get when you are in-love?

 :)

Heck, while we're at it;
What are some of things you have always wanted in a relationship, but never came to be?



HFN, at the risk of offending Volitzer's 1950's sensibilities, I'd have to say that the most important emotion in a relationship is lust.  People can talk all they want about compatability, unless you have something exciting going on the side that helps build that connection, it ain't gonna happen.

As for some of the things I wanted to try in a relationship, well, you don't know unless you try, and, if you have to tell a guy, it sort of spoils the surprise.  I will say, I went to a national park one time and went exploring a cave, and ended up making love in it.  That was certrainly an exciting experience!


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on May 28, 2007, 02:49:44 pm
Hell everyone knows my story.

I needed eHarmony to find a soul-mate to overcome the cuntra-culture of New York State.  I used to think it was me but thanks to eHarmony it proved it wasn't.

At some point I'll  post all 29 dimensions here.  This way everyone can gain a better insight as to what I am talking about.

Volitzer, you forgot the hidden 30th dimension from eharmony - "allow us to screw you out of your money, sucker."


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 28, 2007, 07:23:40 pm
Jeannette- For the sake of conversation;

What do you feel is one of the most appearent emotions or feelings you get when you are in-love?

 :)

Heck, while we're at it;
What are some of things you have always wanted in a relationship, but never came to be?



HFN, at the risk of offending Volitzer's 1950's sensibilities, I'd have to say that the most important emotion in a relationship is lust.  People can talk all they want about compatability, unless you have something exciting going on the side that helps build that connection, it ain't gonna happen.

As for some of the things I wanted to try in a relationship, well, you don't know unless you try, and, if you have to tell a guy, it sort of spoils the surprise.  I will say, I went to a national park one time and went exploring a cave, and ended up making love in it.  That was certrainly an exciting experience!



 :-X I know where you are going on that and yeah, explaining it to someone does kinda ruin the moment.
I like for those kinds of things to happen naturally as the moment creates itself.

Lust is something that I know all to well though. I want to feel it through my whole body like a surge of electricity.
I need to be taken completely off gaurd and unexpectly. Then the excitement is there again atleast. My heart and body tend to agree on that approach. I am severely attracted to women who are spontaneous and wild.
Yet slightly reserved, and intuitive.


Funny, you mention state parks though! Memories...................

 :D Cool stuff though Jean!
As for my most exciting adventure, I would definitely have to say that it was when I wound up 300 miles from home, lost, and It was pouring.
I had only 18 dollars on me and had no choice but to hitch-hike.

I made it home a week later, and ended up in a new relationship with someone who was into everything I was for fun. Only reason it didn't work out was because we were to much alike.

 


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Pagan on May 29, 2007, 04:26:15 am
Better yet, don't just have an affair, but involve your wife in the affair.
The more, the merrier!  Plus, she can't get pissed if she is getting some, too, right?


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 29, 2007, 07:48:42 am
Wrong again idiot. It is women who reject your cocktra culture.



Shawna:

Were you a mail-order bride??

Is this how you gained your American citizenship??


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 29, 2007, 08:06:45 am

HFN, at the risk of offending Volitzer's 1950's sensibilities, I'd have to say that the most important emotion in a relationship is lust.  People can talk all they want about compatability, unless you have something exciting going on the side that helps build that connection, it ain't gonna happen.

As for some of the things I wanted to try in a relationship, well, you don't know unless you try, and, if you have to tell a guy, it sort of spoils the surprise.  I will say, I went to a national park one time and went exploring a cave, and ended up making love in it.  That was certrainly an exciting experience!


Now are you and Captain Cave Man still together or was that just a one time deal??  I guess he was too cheap to spring for dinner and a hotel.  He probably looked like those cavemen in the Geico commercials...  ;D ;D ;D.  When I went to impress my eHarmony sweetie we went out to a movie, then to eat then we spent a lot of time talking and connecting.  I'm not used to beauty and brilliance co-existing in women here to the degree the dynamic that it was in her so I wanted to take the time and show that she was not just any woman but THE WOMAN.  Afterward we spent the whole weekend making love the next day we bonded like the lovers you read about in romance novels.   Afterwards we both thanked God for the experience and the opportunity.  Later in the week we admitted it to each other.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 29, 2007, 08:11:15 am
Jade, Dawn, Jennie!  (Calls into the wilderness)

Where are you guys?
 :D

Come on slackers.....
You too Trent and Morrison..

Stacy and Pagan are MIA too.
Hmmm
 :-\

I'm curious to see how everyone is doing, that's all.

They're trying to exercise their atrophied anterior cinculate cortexes.  My logic is too much of a work out for them, but on the bright side by the time they're in their 30s they'll be a lot smarter for it.

Stacy and Pagan are the of the few that are keeping up.  ;)


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 29, 2007, 08:18:33 am
Hell everyone knows my story.

I needed eHarmony to find a soul-mate to overcome the cuntra-culture of New York State.  I used to think it was me but thanks to eHarmony it proved it wasn't.

At some point I'll  post all 29 dimensions here.  This way everyone can gain a better insight as to what I am talking about.

Volitzer, you forgot the hidden 30th dimension from eharmony - "allow us to screw you out of your money, sucker."

Let's see she's committed to a lifetime partnership and so am I, we are still together and I'll bet Captain Cave Man doesn't even call you.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=YD36ZhpHPpE   :D ;D


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Shawnadithit on May 29, 2007, 08:42:11 am
Idiot. I am from Scotland. And just so you know, you moron, I hired a Pilipino nanny when the kids were little. She no longer works for me but she remains one of my closest friends. You have no idea what female members of her family have gone through. You have no idea as to their desperation. And you characterize these women this way.

There is no limit to your insensitivity and your ignorance.

You are a classless boor.

Shawnadithit


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 29, 2007, 08:50:05 am
So you weren't up to motherhood yourself??

I could understand a babysitter but a nanny, why would any woman want another woman raising her kid??


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 29, 2007, 09:19:44 am
Volitzer- I'm kinda curious to see what eHarmony bases the profiling on.

I'm not going to sell out now, and join or anything.  ;D

Yet I need to understand how they are attempting to explain love scientifically.
I wanna try understanding it objectively with no bias. Even though, I'm a non-beleiver.  ::)

I still wanna see where your coming from on all of this.



Okay now the moment you've all been waiting for...

The 29 Dimensions of Compatibility


1.  Good Character.  No marriage will ever thrive if one of the partners is not of "good character."  Character as used here, relates to one's integrity; it has to do, primarily, with honesty.  A "character disorder," for instance, refers to the tendency of a person to "lie, cheat, and steal" in an effort to gain personal advantage.  The first matter needs to be screened is the character of both persons.

2.  Quality of Self Conception.   All emotional health begins with a well-developed self-concept.  In a marriage, if both persons know themselves well as individuals, even in their deep places, and if each of them takes ownership of all the parts themselves, their individual "self-strength" will provide a strong foundation for building a life together in partnerships under even difficult circumstances.

3.  Absence of Emotional Red Flags.  No addictions, no neuroses, no thought disorders and no affect disorders.  The presence of any of these "pathological conditions" can jeopardize marital success.  No marriage should ever be initiated until all these red flags have been fully dealt with dealt with.  To expect that the marriage will cause a person to "get over their drinking problem," is an expectation long on fantasy and short on reality.

4.  Anger Management.   More marriages break up every year because two people do not know how to manage their anger in relation to each other than because of any other single reason.  Since literally everybody has anger, and since it can be so easily be mismanaged in an intimate relationship, careful attention should be paid to the level of mastery each person has over this area.  If either partner has any history of anger mismanagement (explosiveness, somatization, underhandedness.), this will cuase major problems in the marital relationship.

5.  Obstreperousness.   One quality that can destroy a marriage is a critical attitude.  Even if this attitude is largely independent of the other person's actions, it can become a constant source of marital stress.  One quality that should be looked at for both potential partners, prior to blame, is the tendency to find fault, to attribute blame, to make the other person wrong, and to need to portray oneself as always "right."  This quality is highly related to one's score on an "optimism-pessimism" scale.  The more pessimistic a person is, the more likely they are to be obstreperous.

6.  Understandings About Family.   The parenting of children requires a deep and lasting commitment.  The urge to do this, or not do it, usually emerges from a central and highly personal inner place.  It is absolutely critical for matching partners to have this dimension well discussed and decided prior to any serious dating relationship, let alone a committed marriages.  If one person has a strong desire to be a parent and the other has none, the match will likely be a poor one, however well the other dimensions are harmonized.  In this day of so many second and third pairings, the  question o fwhether one party is willing and eager to share in the parenting task, perhaps as a step-parent, is equally critical.  The corresponding matter of how much authority the new parent will have is a vital factor as well.  Finally, if it is a given that children will be involved in the family, careful attention should be given to preferred styles of parenting.

7.  Family Background.   If one or both of the persons has been raised in a dysfunctional atmosphere, there needs to be  adequate evidence that the impact of this emotional atmosphere has been recognized and worked through.  Moreover, each person needs to come to their contemplated partnership with the support of their primary figures-or a full understanding of why that support is not available.  Finally, each person needs to ascertain whether their "in-law" relationships will be positive influences, and if not, whether they can be managed effectively.

8.  Intellect.  There's a considerable body of clinical and empirical data taht indicates the importance of intellectual equality in a marital partnership.  There is no evidence that two people do better in marriage if they are extremely bright, but there is evidence that they need to be at a similar intellectual level, whatever that level may be.   Technically, there is a general rule that there should be no more than one standard deviation of difference in the intelligence level of two persons.

9.  Energy.   Marriages tend to be more successful when the energy levels of two partners are similar.  If one person is highly energized and the other is considerably lower on energy, thre is bound to be difficulty.   Although the amount of energy a person has is often indicative of emotional health, two people with relatively low energy can form a positive relationship if both of them are quite accepting of the other's energy level.

10.  Spirituality.   Perhaps no dimension is more in need o fmatching for any couple than this one.  However, it is at the same time one of the most complex dimensions.  First, the specific faith of each person should be the same.  For example, in the case of Christianity, this includes attentions Protestant versus Catholic, denominational preference, degree of involvement, etc.   Furthermore, it is good to attain "belief alignment" on the role of the church, the nature of God, the place of prayer, the function of Biblical authority, and in relation to specific theological matters.  If the two persons has no spiritual faith, even this needs careful matching.

11.  Education.   As important as intelligence is, our research indicates that for a large sub-sample, more women than men, a generally equal amount of education for each partner is a critical factor.  For instance, women who have finished college or graduate work often prefer to be matched with men who have accomplished at a similar level.  There are many marriages that work well without education equality, but if education has received heavy stress during a person's growing up years, this dimension must be given appropriate attention.

12.  Appearence.   In the culture at large, that is, without any question, the most frequently monitored dimension of simple appearance is more possible.   Most persons are comfortable being being matched with partners within the same "grade level" on appearance.  For instance, are rated on a seven-point scale on appearance, and and when they are matched with persons receiving their same rating-or even at one point point above or below-they are generally satisfied.  It should be noted that spouses who are in love with each other typically rate their partners as two to three scale points higher on appearance than a jury of objective persons rate them.

13.    Sense of Humor. Beyond the fact that "sense of humor" contributes significantly to a person's overall attractiveness, it is a key dimension in the building of a marital bond over the course of a marriage.  Laughter is highly therapeutic in every intimate relationship, and there is evidence that marriages in which there is little laughter tend to suffer considerably more during trying times.  Having "sense of humor" in common does not require that both people be able to generate humor equally.  One person may do this unusually well, while the other person serves as an appreciative audience.  Research indicates that he  key criterion in this regard is for both persons to experience the freeing, lightening, and enlightening effects of shared laughter.  There is a strong correlation between "happy" partners who are thought to have a highly developed sense of humor.

14.   Mood Management.   It is critical that two people be well matched with regard to their moods.  If one person has wide mood fluctuations, the other person needs to have a high degreee of tolerance fo rthis.  It is essential to assess each person's mood management to ascertain that this area will not become provocative in the marriage over time.

15.  Overall Traditional vs. Non-Traditional Personality Orientations.   If two persons are highly traditional in their approach to life, they will tend to get along well.  If one person is quite untraditional, it will be important to find another person who is similarly non-tradional.  For instance, if one person likes to be highly predictable, engages in a significant amount of planning about future events (events transpiring the next day, the next week, or months ahead), this person will be likely be unhappy with someone who prefers a high degree of spontaneity, who chafes under too much "obsessiveness" about planning.

16.    Ambition.   Our research indicates that two well-matched partners need to have approximately the same amount of ambition.   When they do, and assuming they are equally ready to back their ambition with a commensurate amount of hard work, they will have common quality that will contribute substantially to the harmonizing of their relationships.  On the negative side, if there is a large discrepancy between the amount of ambition the two partners have, there will be considerable stress between them.  One person will be intent on pursuing advancement, and the other person will resent the amount of time and energy this requires.

17.  Sexual Passion.   Interpersonal chemistry is assessable by the individuals involved in a pairing, and by them only, but the degree of "generalized passion" that a person possess can be measured.  The passion we are talking about here is sexual passion, and our goal is to  match two persons who have relatively similar levels of sexual passion.

18.  Artistic Passion.   Some people are, right to the center of themselves, artistically inclined.  This is for them a primary personal trait.  Sometimes, these persons are skillful as artists.  They may play an instrument, write music or poetry, paint, sculpt, or sing.  Other people cannot perform, but have they a strong interest in observing, listening, reading, and feeling.  If one of these "artistically inclined" persons is matched with someone who has none of these skills or passions, they are like two strangers with little "soul" compatibility.  Most people with strong artistic feelings and interests simply must be paired with partners who have some of the same.   Otherwise  their marriage seldom works.

19.  Values Orientation.   It is critical for marital partners to have similar to have similar values about the essentials of living.  For instance, their values about social issues, political issues, and environmental issues are highly important.  Also they need to be in strong agreement about money issues.  Their views about about saving money and giving money away should be similar.  When two persons in a marital relationship have values that are highly congruent, meaning agreeable; the marriage almost surely works out better.

20.    Industry.   This dimension has to do with one's orientation towards work.  If one person is a "hard worker" and the other person is a "shirker", there will likely be feelings of resentment and guilt.  For instance, if the woman gets up earlier, works more intensely during the day, andstill has work to do at night, while the man gets up later, works only moderately hard, and stops in the late afternoon for a round of golf, this will put considerable strain on the relationship.  When one party complains about the other being "lazy," and the "lazy" partner complains about the other as a "workaholic" or "obsessive," you are likely to have a mismatch on the dimension of industry.

21.  Curiosity.   This dimension was a latecomer to our list of critical matching qualities.  It also has to do with a need for stimulation, along with a personal strategy to pursue additional information through inquisitiveness.  If one partner is "regularly satisfied" with relatively limited information about anything, while the other partner has a pressing "need to know more" this will typically pull them in two very different directions.  Curiosity is not always healthy ("curiosity killed the cat"), but the degree of health represented by curiosity is beside the point.  In a marital match we are looking for two partners who "harmonize," who can relate to one another's style.  While complimenting can  occur inrelation to some of these discrepancies, our research indicates that similarity on dimensions like curiosity leads to greater marital satisfaction over time.

22.  Vitality and Security.   In seventeen cross-cultural studies, the number one quality cited by men in choosing a partner is the general quality called "fertility," and the number one quality attended to by women is security.  Men apparently look for healthy and vital women, and women look for men who can provide economic and physical security, especially during the childbearing years.  These qualities, extremely important in matching, must leave both partners feeling that they have "gotten a good deal" and "providing maximally" in the area of their fundamental need.

23.  Autonomy vs. Closeness-If one partner desires a significant amount of autonomy to be alone and to do their own thing, and if one partner wants considerably mroe closeness and relational involvement, the match will be difficult.  It is crucial to discover the amount required autonomy and closeness for two individuals and to match them on the basis of their scores in these areas.

24.  Communication.   Two life partners need to have a similar level of interest in communicating with one another and a similar ability to communicate.  While this may be a dimension that can be altered over time (largely because men in our culture receive so little early encouragement and training in the area of communication), the matter of how much and how well two people communicate is one of the two to three most frequent complaints when marriages get into trouble.  The fact is that the vast majority of women want more communication  than their male counterparts, and they are also better able to communicate as well.  When one partner is not interested in or good at communication, and especially when the opposite is very interested and good at it, the marriage will tend to stagnate and prove frustrating for both of them.

25.  Conflict Resolution.   Both partners need to be good at conflict resolution for a marriage to survive and thrive.  There will always be conflict in every relationship, and if it is not promptly resolved, the relationship will suffer.  Conflict resolution is an example of a pre-marital variable that is both an attitude and a skill.  If a couple's attitude is positive about the need for conflict resolution, and if they are willing to work at it, the skill can be developed quite easily but if one or both persons seem unwilling or unable to compromise, to talk things through, to entertain each other's positions, their relationship will suffer greater and greater strain over time.

26.  Sociability.   The degree to which two people both desire interpersonal relationships, and excells at them, needs to be similar for their relationship to thrive.  For instance, some persons demonstrate high attraction to other people, while others prefer to spend significantly more time alone or in just one relationship.  Over time, this variable will be tested over and over.  It is a matter about which premarital matching needs to be carefully concerned.

27.  Adaptabilty.   When all is said and done, this may be the most important dimension of all.  In a society in which change is so prominent, in which there is growing differentiation and individuation, the need for adaptability is crucial.  If every other dimension were perfectly, or almost perfect, matched for two people, we could accept a low adaptability score but where there is some difference between them, it is to adaptability that we look to see if change to unforseen circumstances can occur over time.

28.  Kindness.   In the seventeen cross-cultural studies referred to above, both men and women rated kindness as the second most important quality to look for in a mate.  When a prospective marriage partner has a well-developed capacity to trat other people with kindness, whether it is kindness for their partner, their children, their friends, or even strangers, this quality will always enrich and deepen the marital relationship.  Although kind people can often maintain their kindness over time without reciprocation from their mate, the truly great marriages are those in which kindness is matched by kindness.

29.  Dominance vs. Submissiveness.   If one partner is highly dominant, a marriage will work better if the other partner is significantly more submissive.  Research indicates that matching two persons who are high on dominance-or who are both high on submissiveness-leads to problems in the relationship.  While it is clinically preferable to find two persons, neither of whom unusually dominant or submissive, a satisfactory relationship can be developed by pairing high scores on trait with low scores on the other.

  ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)   


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Shawnadithit on May 29, 2007, 09:36:48 am
Go **** yourself.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 29, 2007, 09:37:27 am
Better yet, don't just have an affair, but involve your wife in the affair.
The more, the merrier!  Plus, she can't get pissed if she is getting some, too, right?


You know hun, I have thought of even that option a few times and I just don't know how to approach it.
The trust worthy third party is abit shady.
 ;)


On the other hand I could stick to what alot of married guys do.
Take up golfing!  8)
Oh yeah, baby! (Wolf whistle)

Actually, it's bores me so........
Now I turn on alil' techno, and strip off all my cloths like a clumbsy swan.
Then I ask, "so baby, whata ya think" (Italian accent)
Suddenly, I hear a loud snort and then laughter fills the room.
I get dressed and go to sleep with a quiet,"good-night"...

Kidding-
How's it going?


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: rockessence on May 29, 2007, 10:20:59 am
Better yet, don't just have an affair, but involve your wife in the affair.
The more, the merrier!  Plus, she can't get pissed if she is getting some, too, right?

Better still, tell your wife to have an affair first, and that you won't until she does..."ladies first"!!  Take care of your kids before you do anything else....  What works best for them is the way to go.  Anything else is just screwed.     
How old are you anyway?   You have half a life ahead of you, kid.   Don't hurry things, just aim for perfection as a father and as a friend to your wife.   Your true love will come to you when you have fulfilled those two goals....


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 29, 2007, 11:22:35 am
Go f*** yourself.


or maybe it was a problem with dimensions 6 & 7. ??  ??? ???


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 29, 2007, 11:27:06 am
I'm 36, and I've been sticking with that plan. As for the rest, it's all nature and it's rules thereof.
 :)  

I still balance everything out by being a parent first, even before the worker and husband roles play themselves out in a day.

Depressing to think that 2012 is around the corner though.  LOL
I'll be 41 and my youngest won't be 18 til 2021.
 :o

Now how's that work out?  ;)


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Pagan on May 30, 2007, 12:13:39 am
If she is fine with you having an affair, then go for it.  I like Rocky's idea about her having an affair, too.  She is also right about you "taking care of the kids," whatever you do, though - make sure those little buggers aren't included in any potential affairs that either of you might have.  :)


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on May 30, 2007, 02:01:00 am

HFN, at the risk of offending Volitzer's 1950's sensibilities, I'd have to say that the most important emotion in a relationship is lust.  People can talk all they want about compatability, unless you have something exciting going on the side that helps build that connection, it ain't gonna happen.

As for some of the things I wanted to try in a relationship, well, you don't know unless you try, and, if you have to tell a guy, it sort of spoils the surprise.  I will say, I went to a national park one time and went exploring a cave, and ended up making love in it.  That was certrainly an exciting experience!


Now are you and Captain Cave Man still together or was that just a one time deal??  I guess he was too cheap to spring for dinner and a hotel.  He probably looked like those cavemen in the Geico commercials...  ;D ;D ;D.  When I went to impress my eHarmony sweetie we went out to a movie, then to eat then we spent a lot of time talking and connecting.  I'm not used to beauty and brilliance co-existing in women here to the degree the dynamic that it was in her so I wanted to take the time and show that she was not just any woman but THE WOMAN.  Afterward we spent the whole weekend making love the next day we bonded like the lovers you read about in romance novels.   Afterwards we both thanked God for the experience and the opportunity.  Later in the week we admitted it to each other.

Gee, you are just full of wit and wisdom, aren't you?  You meet someone who doesn't buy your eharmony, bull, and it's just attack, attack, attack. That's okay, I'm used to mean, spiteful people, you just keep doing what you have to do.  Bash women all you want if it makes you feel better about your own misery and personal failures - it don't mean a thing to me.

My advice to you would be to hold onto whoever you managed to get hooked up with, though, cause not many other women out there would put up with your line of bull.



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 30, 2007, 03:49:37 am
If she is fine with you having an affair, then go for it.  I like Rocky's idea about her having an affair, too.  She is also right about you "taking care of the kids," whatever you do, though - make sure those little buggers aren't included in any potential affairs that either of you might have.  :)
Neither my wife nor I would ever do anything to hurt our kids. As for the affair thing; As I've explained awhile back,
my wife is free to do whatever she wants to. I'm not going to even try to discourage her from experiencing anything that might potentially make her happy. I'm willing to look the other way if it is something she really wants.
 :D As for the whole idea of it, she doesn't seem to keen on it. In fact, I have told her atleast 50 times to go out for the night and relax, have fun. She continues to blow it off and stays here.

She keeps telling me that she wants me. Why? Couldn't tell ya.
As for myself going out and doing anything that I was into, I've stopped altogether.

Like Rock said before,
Don't hurry things, just aim for perfection as a father and as a friend to your wife.   Your true love will come to you when you have fulfilled those two goals....

Which, by doing this I am atleast drama free and happy as a parent.
As for true love; I'm a skeptic. I'm not sure I have what it takes emotionally.
My friends kid around with me and tell me all the time that I'm evil.    :)
At times I wonder....

 :D Atleast then, I could justify never being in-love.
Anyways, It's good to hear from you pagan and stay in touch.

http://www.blogmusik.net/?urlIdSong=19253
 


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 30, 2007, 07:44:55 am

Gee, you are just full of wit and wisdom, aren't you?  You meet someone who doesn't buy your eharmony, bull, and it's just attack, attack, attack. That's okay, I'm used to mean, spiteful people, you just keep doing what you have to do.  Bash women all you want if it makes you feel better about your own misery and personal failures - it don't mean a thing to me.

My advice to you would be to hold onto whoever you managed to get hooked up with, though, cause not many other women out there would put up with your line of bull.


I'm not attacking you cuz of your skepticism, I'm criticizing your advice.  "Oh if the marriage is failing just go have an affair."  It just causes more damage in the long run.

If your advice is lame and folly-prone you should have quite the tolerance to mean people.

Okay I will, but just the stupid ones.  ;D

My line of bull!!!   :o :o :o  I'm in the process of giving HereforNow and others workable advice to find a meaningful relationship and you are just telling him to have an affair and hurt his wife.   You're a woman!!!  Don't you see how hurtful this would be to his wife??  Or aren't your pareital lobes developed enough yet to see that.

I can live with the fact I'm not compatible with all women and the fact that women aren't the relationship experts they think they are.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 30, 2007, 11:26:17 am
Ok guys, (whistles loudy)

This went from offering different ideas to a war of witts.
At witts ends and three months, neither of you are even going to give a **** about this.
Thing is, even though what they say will be forgotten. How you made someone feel, will always remain in that persons mind and deeper sometimes.

Now your support on both angles was something that made me smile for several reasons. Positive Reasons.

And offered in positive intent!
In the end of your argument, even the last word won't be enough to keep those good energies from being thrown right out the window.

And so much for the good advice we've thown out there so many times in the past.
I am greatful that you both were there to talk to about my short-comings and I mean this sincerely.

For now, let's calm down, have a beer, sing whatever.  :P
It's better then taking the easy way out.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on May 30, 2007, 01:17:30 pm

Gee, you are just full of wit and wisdom, aren't you?  You meet someone who doesn't buy your eharmony, bull, and it's just attack, attack, attack. That's okay, I'm used to mean, spiteful people, you just keep doing what you have to do.  Bash women all you want if it makes you feel better about your own misery and personal failures - it don't mean a thing to me.

My advice to you would be to hold onto whoever you managed to get hooked up with, though, cause not many other women out there would put up with your line of bull.


I'm not attacking you cuz of your skepticism, I'm criticizing your advice.  "Oh if the marriage is failing just go have an affair."  It just causes more damage in the long run.

If your advice is lame and folly-prone you should have quite the tolerance to mean people.

Okay I will, but just the stupid ones.  ;D

My line of bull!!!   :o :o :o  I'm in the process of giving HereforNow and others workable advice to find a meaningful relationship and you are just telling him to have an affair and hurt his wife.   You're a woman!!!  Don't you see how hurtful this would be to his wife??  Or aren't your pareital lobes developed enough yet to see that.

I can live with the fact I'm not compatible with all women and the fact that women aren't the relationship experts they think they are.

Whoever said that women were supposed to be "relationship experts?"  Everyone lives and learns.  The reason why you haven't learned from your past mistakes is cause you never look at yourself, just keep blaming other people for them, all of them women.

Volitzer, how are you ever going to grow with a stunted attitude like that?

People have been trying to tell you why eharmony is such a ripoff - you learn by doing. Nobody is going to be able to tell you what is right for you, you have to get in theree and find out for yourself.

Which is why the advice I am giving HFN is perfectly sound, he doesn't know if he is meant to be with the person he's with, and the only thing he is risking by not taking a chance with someone else, is his own happiness.  As for his wife, well, women know when a guy loves them or not, I don't care what anyone says.  Most guys also tend to cheat at one time or another.  So long as he is honest with her about it, and she accepts it, I don't see the problem.

And as for you, you really should have done Jade's exercise when you had the chance, I am sure it would have helped you learn something about yourself.  You took a pass, of course, cause it is too easy to fall back into your pattern of women for your own failures. 


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 30, 2007, 02:14:27 pm

Whoever said that women were supposed to be "relationship experts?"  Everyone lives and learns.  The reason why you haven't learned from your past mistakes is cause you never look at yourself, just keep blaming other people for them, all of them women.

Volitzer, how are you ever going to grow with a stunted attitude like that?

After I get looking at myself I notice that a relationship failed because of how women are here in NYS.  I'll bet where you live 60% aren't going to some form of parenting classes.

People have been trying to tell you why eharmony is such a ripoff - you learn by doing. Nobody is going to be able to tell you what is right for you, you have to get in theree and find out for yourself.

If eHarmony is such a ripoff then why did it succeed.  ??? ???  I thought women were attracted to things successful.   :-\

Which is why the advice I am giving HFN is perfectly sound, he doesn't know if he is meant to be with the person he's with, and the only thing he is risking by not taking a chance with someone else, is his own happiness.  As for his wife, well, women know when a guy loves them or not, I don't care what anyone says.  Most guys also tend to cheat at one time or another.  So long as he is honest with her about it, and she accepts it, I don't see the problem.

  :o Wow!!!  No consideration for his wife at all.  Amazing.

And as for you, you really should have done Jade's exercise when you had the chance, I am sure it would have helped you learn something about yourself.  You took a pass, of course, cause it is too easy to fall back into your pattern of women for your own failures. 

eHarmony is working just fine for me.  I don't see why just cuz she and I aren't compatible I don't see what qualifies her to judge what makes a good relationship or not.  She and I have been at AR for a couple of years now and she has never provided anything useful there either.  Just cuz a man isn't compatible with her standards she writes them off entirely.  Besides thanks to compatibility science people are more able to be themselves.  Such refreshing news for the 21st Century.



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 30, 2007, 03:00:10 pm
  :) You know folks, my wife and I talked over the weekend and she understands where I'm coming from.

It did disappoint her to hear what I was feeling. At the same time she replied by saying " I can't make you fell in-love me. All I can do is love you, and maybe we need a vacation"......
 Broke my heart as much as I feel like I broke hers.

Deep huh?
Later that night she seemed happier that I atleast was honest with her.
Jeannette, she did know that I felt that way.

Volitzer, I considered her feeling on this before I even told her.
How she answered, shocked me. Yet it was a very cool conversation about the real issues between us.
Now, I'm in Awe and she is the happier of the two of us because of my honesty.
She even told me that she was glad I atleast explained why I've been so withdrawn from her.

Now I don't have to be, and if anything we are even better friends then before.
I haven't solved my problem, but I atleast didn't make it worse.

Thank you Jade....

As for Love, I have some ideas about what it might be like because of what you all have been posting.
I still think that Jake gave the best definition so far.
I was feeling that deeply but it was for someone in whom I either knew in another life, or someone I may meet someday. I can still feel her very being in there and I know so little, yet everything.
I know that somehow she is connected to me. She is waiting on me to find her.

And I can hear the rest of you thinking, ' What a sap...
LOL

 




Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 31, 2007, 08:07:28 am
  :) You know folks, my wife and I talked over the weekend and she understands where I'm coming from.

It did disappoint her to hear what I was feeling. At the same time she replied by saying " I can't make you fell in-love me. All I can do is love you, and maybe we need a vacation"......
 Broke my heart as much as I feel like I broke hers.

Deep huh?
Later that night she seemed happier that I atleast was honest with her.
Jeannette, she did know that I felt that way.

Volitzer, I considered her feeling on this before I even told her.
How she answered, shocked me. Yet it was a very cool conversation about the real issues between us.
Now, I'm in Awe and she is the happier of the two of us because of my honesty.
She even told me that she was glad I atleast explained why I've been so withdrawn from her.

Now I don't have to be, and if anything we are even better friends then before.
I haven't solved my problem, but I at least didn't make it worse.


Incompatibility is no one's fault but it is an issue that needs to be addressed.  Both you and your wife are good people just not a good match.   When I get all 29 dimensions posted have you and your wife should sit down and look at them and see which ones were mismatches.  This way, together, you can decide what direction to take your future.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: rockessence on May 31, 2007, 12:43:49 pm
Take care of your kids before you do anything else....  What works best for them is the way to go.  Anything else is just screwed.    
How old are you anyway?   You have half a life ahead of you, kid.   Don't hurry things, just aim for perfection as a father and as a friend to your wife.   Your true love will come to you when you have fulfilled those two goals....

As I said before, "just aim for perfection as a father and as a friend to your wife".... 


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on May 31, 2007, 01:28:02 pm
Quote
Incompatibility is no one's fault but it is an issue that needs to be addressed.  Both you and your wife are good people just not a good match.   When I get all 29 dimensions posted have you and your wife should sit down and look at them and see which ones were mismatches.  This way, together, you can decide what direction to take your future.

The 29 eharmony marketing points are not going to help two people if they are not compatabile.  You either know you are, or you aren't.  Plus, it takes two people to work at something.

You can tell that HFN's wife was actually happy to know his true feelings. It is a whole lot worse living with a guy who isn't honest.  Personally, I respect Herefornow for being so honest with his wife about his feelings - a lot of guys aren't.   As I said before, if she is fine with him having an affair with someone else, who are you to gripe about it?  He should do what makes him happy, their business is between him and her.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on May 31, 2007, 01:29:47 pm
You know, it used to be that people didn't even marry for love. There were arranged marriages for many years, still are in some places.  It wasn't until the age of chivalry that people began to get the idea that love was a valid reason for two people to get married. 


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: rockessence on May 31, 2007, 03:13:15 pm
Even in the "Age of Chivalry" marriages were mostly political. 
During the time of the troubadors, easily the height of the "ideal" it was proclaimed that there could not truely exist a "true love" between husband and wife because of the politics involved in the marriage... responsibility, debt, etc. 

True love was considered an impossibility within marriage...
ref. "The Fool of Venus~The Story of Piere Vidal" by George Cronyn.... The life story of the greatest troubador. He accompanied Richard the Lion on a crusade.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 31, 2007, 05:55:47 pm
Forbidden Love vs. Perarranged Marriage?
Sounds so romantic, yet whispers a far deeper meaning. Because of the way things fell for me, it became an issue of morality and obligation.

This we both knew. After 9 years of Marriage, you become the very best of friends regaurdless of other loves being absent. As time went on, I think it was more of a comfort zone to do so.
I guess if I am going to adapt, I need to be more focased on the rest of my responsibilities.
Rockessence- Cheers!
 :)

My kids are definitely my number 1 priority, and God bless you for seeing that too....
At this time in my life, I need too.



And NO I wasn't programmed to think so.... (brunnette moment)  ::)


Down the road, I will still watch in silence for the moment love finds me.
In the "age of renewel"....
 :-X Or, sooner....
(shhhh)


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 31, 2007, 11:46:06 pm
Quote
Incompatibility is no one's fault but it is an issue that needs to be addressed.  Both you and your wife are good people just not a good match.   When I get all 29 dimensions posted have you and your wife should sit down and look at them and see which ones were mismatches.  This way, together, you can decide what direction to take your future.

The 29 eharmony marketing points are not going to help two people if they are not compatabile.  You either know you are, or you aren't.  Plus, it takes two people to work at something.

You can tell that HFN's wife was actually happy to know his true feelings. It is a whole lot worse living with a guy who isn't honest.  Personally, I respect Herefornow for being so honest with his wife about his feelings - a lot of guys Aren't

I do appreciate this statement Jean and thank you.
However, it's only more that I learned a hard lesson once about honesty.
I told you all the story about an old affair I was involved in once upon a time.
It didn't end very well but it was humbling to know that their are no winners in that game.
The gratification or fulfillment I was hoping to find wasn't there either.
If I were to fall in-love, I would have to be prepared to make a decision. My best-friend and wife/family or the love of my life.

LOL
Even as I sit here and type this, I'm thinking of how I could even approach something like that.
I would have no other choice but to be singal before I can even meet this other person.
And then comes the political end of the spectrum in my marriage. First off, leaving at this point is not even an option. My wife needs me, because besides her sibblings I'm all she has for support and adult company.
Then the main reason which involves my babies and them needing their daddy right now.

True love?
Well I can't loose that for all the obvious reasons.
I just hope that someday before my time is up here that I can share that feeling once.



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Brooke on June 01, 2007, 02:07:26 am

HFN, at the risk of offending Volitzer's 1950's sensibilities, I'd have to say that the most important emotion in a relationship is lust.  People can talk all they want about compatability, unless you have something exciting going on the side that helps build that connection, it ain't gonna happen.

As for some of the things I wanted to try in a relationship, well, you don't know unless you try, and, if you have to tell a guy, it sort of spoils the surprise.  I will say, I went to a national park one time and went exploring a cave, and ended up making love in it.  That was certrainly an exciting experience!


Now are you and Captain Cave Man still together or was that just a one time deal??  I guess he was too cheap to spring for dinner and a hotel.  He probably looked like those cavemen in the Geico commercials...  ;D ;D ;D.  When I went to impress my eHarmony sweetie we went out to a movie, then to eat then we spent a lot of time talking and connecting.  I'm not used to beauty and brilliance co-existing in women here to the degree the dynamic that it was in her so I wanted to take the time and show that she was not just any woman but THE WOMAN.  Afterward we spent the whole weekend making love the next day we bonded like the lovers you read about in romance novels.   Afterwards we both thanked God for the experience and the opportunity.  Later in the week we admitted it to each other.

Gee, you are just full of wit and wisdom, aren't you?  You meet someone who doesn't buy your eharmony, bull, and it's just attack, attack, attack. That's okay, I'm used to mean, spiteful people, you just keep doing what you have to do.  Bash women all you want if it makes you feel better about your own misery and personal failures - it don't mean a thing to me.

My advice to you would be to hold onto whoever you managed to get hooked up with, though, cause not many other women out there would put up with your line of bull.



Jeannette, I can see you've met Volitzer!!!  Enjoy!!!


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 01, 2007, 01:42:07 pm
Hi brooke, how's it going?



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Trent on June 02, 2007, 10:43:58 pm
Hey buddy,

I would forget the affair - unless your wife is really awful. Frequently, the grass isn't greener on the other side and there is always the chance that you could screw up what you already have by looking for something that does not exist. Sure, it is sometimes fun doing it with someone new, but, in your case, you would also be screwing over your kids, too, and I am sure you wouldn't want to do that.

My advice, for what it is worth.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Brooke on June 03, 2007, 04:26:19 am
Hi Herefornow, if you were just seeing someone, I would say it's okay to have an affair.  The fact that you are married and have kids would make me say NO!

Seems like your feelings at the moment are all about finding something better out there.  And yet, it sounds like you have a nice wife and family life. Chances are, you would find something worse!!!  Don't take the chance and ruin what you have.

Brooke


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 03, 2007, 09:04:45 am
Hi Herefornow, if you were just seeing someone, I would say it's okay to have an affair.  The fact that you are married and have kids would make me say NO!

Seems like your feelings at the moment are all about finding something better out there.  And yet, it sounds like you have a nice wife and family life. Chances are, you would find something worse!!!  Don't take the chance and ruin what you have.

Brooke

I have been avoiding those dreams of finding something new.
My kids really are the the only true loves of my life at this point.
I'm ok with that....

 :) Besides, I've been on the other side of things and there really is no such thing as a yellow brick road at the end of any tornado.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 03, 2007, 09:11:37 am
Hey buddy,

I would forget the affair - unless your wife is really awful. Frequently, the grass isn't greener on the other side and there is always the chance that you could screw up what you already have by looking for something that does not exist. Sure, it is sometimes fun doing it with someone new, but, in your case, you would also be screwing over your kids, too, and I am sure you wouldn't want to do that.

My advice, for what it is worth.

I know where your coming from Trent and I agree.
My wife and kids don't really need all the drama and pain.
In fact there not the problem at all.

I needed to know why I was feeling so lost.
Now, I am ready to except what I have by changing my veiws about what love is to me.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on June 03, 2007, 09:42:10 pm

The 29 eharmony marketing points are not going to help two people if they are not compatabile.  You either know you are, or you aren't.  Plus, it takes two people to work at something.


Yes but thanks to eHarmony when 2 people are incompatible and the science shows it they can move on to more productive relationships and not stay trapped in a bad one.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on June 03, 2007, 09:45:24 pm

HFN, at the risk of offending Volitzer's 1950's sensibilities, I'd have to say that the most important emotion in a relationship is lust.  People can talk all they want about compatability, unless you have something exciting going on the side that helps build that connection, it ain't gonna happen.

As for some of the things I wanted to try in a relationship, well, you don't know unless you try, and, if you have to tell a guy, it sort of spoils the surprise.  I will say, I went to a national park one time and went exploring a cave, and ended up making love in it.  That was certrainly an exciting experience!


Now are you and Captain Cave Man still together or was that just a one time deal??  I guess he was too cheap to spring for dinner and a hotel.  He probably looked like those cavemen in the Geico commercials...  ;D ;D ;D.  When I went to impress my eHarmony sweetie we went out to a movie, then to eat then we spent a lot of time talking and connecting.  I'm not used to beauty and brilliance co-existing in women here to the degree the dynamic that it was in her so I wanted to take the time and show that she was not just any woman but THE WOMAN.  Afterward we spent the whole weekend making love the next day we bonded like the lovers you read about in romance novels.   Afterwards we both thanked God for the experience and the opportunity.  Later in the week we admitted it to each other.

Gee, you are just full of wit and wisdom, aren't you?  You meet someone who doesn't buy your eharmony, bull, and it's just attack, attack, attack. That's okay, I'm used to mean, spiteful people, you just keep doing what you have to do.  Bash women all you want if it makes you feel better about your own misery and personal failures - it don't mean a thing to me.

My advice to you would be to hold onto whoever you managed to get hooked up with, though, cause not many other women out there would put up with your line of bull.



Jeannette, I can see you've met Volitzer!!!  Enjoy!!!

Happy Deja Vu to you too Brooke.   ;) ;D ;D


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 03, 2007, 10:35:49 pm
Ok, everyone just stand back and watch for flying furniture.
(kidding)

Age old ummm discussion, long story...
It was the feul of a beautiful flame that lit a cloudy day.
Brooke is a trooper...

LOL



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on June 03, 2007, 11:00:00 pm
You know, it used to be that people didn't even marry for love. There were arranged marriages for many years, still are in some places.  It wasn't until the age of chivalry that people began to get the idea that love was a valid reason for two people to get married. 

We also used to have slavery and dictatorships.  Point being with new knowledge comes new options and new choices for better decisions.

Now that it is the 21st Century and we have a 55% divorce rate once again humaity is in need to take a step in societal evolution and realize the stuff relationships are made of.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 04, 2007, 12:58:54 am
You know, it used to be that people didn't even marry for love. There were arranged marriages for many years, still are in some places.  It wasn't until the age of chivalry that people began to get the idea that love was a valid reason for two people to get married. 

We also used to have slavery and dictatorships.  Point being with new knowledge comes new options and new choices for better decisions.

Now that it is the 21st Century and we have a 55% divorce rate once again humaity is in need to take a step in societal evolution and realize the stuff relationships are made of.

Ok, but then understanding what relationships are made of is knowing yourself and being able to answer all those questions with brutal honesty.

One question that will eventually arise is:
Who am I, really?
Then comes the real mystery.
Who are they really?

Without both people doing this, I can't see what their really is behind developing social circles built on lies. Even with the 29 dimensions of compatiblity, it takes being honest about who you really are first. If you don't know who you are, how are they supposed to figure you out?

Now with extreme honesty about who and what each other are, the rest is liking what you find.
Only an opinion I'd like to offer for brain food.  :)
Other then that, I do agree that alot of changes can be made in the way we discover the truths first. It takes people who are willing to risk all or nothing to make that connection, or rather love  the other person more then breathing.

How far will any of us go, to do so?
 ;)

And right there is where the social disorder really lies.
No one has that kind of time because of everything else that this worldly system enslaves us all with.
Love is free, but it comes with a price when you factor in all the other stuff you have to do.
That stuff is who we become, and Life changes constantly.

On that note; Who are we really?
And there you have it folks.....


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on June 04, 2007, 01:47:26 am

The 29 eharmony marketing points are not going to help two people if they are not compatabile.  You either know you are, or you aren't.  Plus, it takes two people to work at something.


Yes but thanks to eHarmony when 2 people are incompatible and the science shows it they can move on to more productive relationships and not stay trapped in a bad one.

More wishful thinking!  Eharmony says nothing about the chemistry between two people, which is sort of the "magic" that keeps two people together.  Lots of people might look well-matched on paper, unless you actually get in there and have seee where the attraction is, you don't actually know how well you might fit with each other.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on June 04, 2007, 01:55:50 am
You know, it used to be that people didn't even marry for love. There were arranged marriages for many years, still are in some places.  It wasn't until the age of chivalry that people began to get the idea that love was a valid reason for two people to get married. 

We also used to have slavery and dictatorships.  Point being with new knowledge comes new options and new choices for better decisions.

Now that it is the 21st Century and we have a 55% divorce rate once again humaity is in need to take a step in societal evolution and realize the stuff relationships are made of.

That's right, we have a 50% divorce rate in an era where we have eharmony, match.com and all those other dating sites, which should show you something:  computer dating isn't any better at matching people than people are themselves, the old-fashioned way!


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on June 04, 2007, 02:37:00 am

More wishful thinking!  Eharmony says nothing about the chemistry between two people, which is sort of the "magic" that keeps two people together.  Lots of people might look well-matched on paper, unless you actually get in there and have seee where the attraction is, you don't actually know how well you might fit with each other.

Chemistry is left for 2 people to work at once the compatibility is lined up.  This is eHarmony's explanation.  Compatibility 85%, chemistry 15%.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on June 04, 2007, 02:44:20 am

That's right, we have a 50% divorce rate in an era where we have eharmony, match.com and all those other dating sites, which should show you something:  computer dating isn't any better at matching people than people are themselves, the old-fashioned way!

The divorce rate was at 50% since the late 1960s.  eHarmony and other dating sites are trying if anything to prevent future divorces from happening.  You've got 4 decades  worth of damage to undo.   If it still up to 50% by 2020 then this statement will hold true.

Plus eHarmony has the science to prove whether you're a good match with someone or not before marriage.  People, in general, for the most part don't.  Sure there are the 25-30% of marriages that are happy and loving but why not get that percentage higher.  Why not have an ounce of prevention (compatibility) rather than the pound of cure (therapy and divorce)??


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 04, 2007, 10:21:30 am
Jeannette- It's perfectly understandable if your not comfortable sharing any personal information here.
I have been wanting to ask you about your relationship(s).....

First off, are you comfortable discussing it?
I promice I won't ask any questions that would other-wise be considered to much information.
I'm more curious about what type of emotional bonds you felt, and what you consider when choosing a mate. I research and investigate the paranormal, but this for some reason is becoming even more interesting. I would really like to get more input from everyone about what they experience when falling in-love.

As for the paranormal, it all kind of fits with my theories about spiritual sences and how raw emotion can influence our physical being through the energy our very soul can manipulate. Transfer of energies can take place in more ways then by touching alone. I beleive that by simply loving your life and all living things that this alone can drastically change those negitive energies within. Once this happens, you feel energized and powerful like you can accomplish anything. It can be world changing.
 It goes much deeper then I've explained already.

For now, I am just curious about this feeling and how it changes our individual roles in society.
Everyone that is or has been in-love is encouraged to share if you will.

As for this theory I have about the above comment, think about how being happy can change the way the whole day can unfold for the better.

Emotion is the energy that our soul is made of. The power of will is where I'm going with it all.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on June 04, 2007, 12:49:47 pm
Volitzer- I'm kinda curious to see what eHarmony bases the profiling on.

I'm not going to sell out now, and join or anything.  ;D

Yet I need to understand how they are attempting to explain love scientifically.
I wanna try understanding it objectively with no bias. Even though, I'm a non-beleiver.  ::)

I still wanna see where your coming from on all of this.



Okay now the moment you've all been waiting for...

The 29 Dimensions of Compatibility


1.  Good Character.  No marriage will ever thrive if one of the partners is not of "good character."  Character as used here, relates to one's integrity; it has to do, primarily, with honesty.  A "character disorder," for instance, refers to the tendency of a person to "lie, cheat, and steal" in an effort to gain personal advantage.  The first matter needs to be screened is the character of both persons.

2.  Quality of Self Conception.   All emotional health begins with a well-developed self-concept.  In a marriage, if both persons know themselves well as individuals, even in their deep places, and if each of them takes ownership of all the parts themselves, their individual "self-strength" will provide a strong foundation for building a life together in partnerships under even difficult circumstances.

3.  Absence of Emotional Red Flags.  No addictions, no neuroses, no thought disorders and no affect disorders.  The presence of any of these "pathological conditions" can jeopardize marital success.  No marriage should ever be initiated until all these red flags have been fully dealt with dealt with.  To expect that the marriage will cause a person to "get over their drinking problem," is an expectation long on fantasy and short on reality.

4.  Anger Management.   More marriages break up every year because two people do not know how to manage their anger in relation to each other than because of any other single reason.  Since literally everybody has anger, and since it can be so easily be mismanaged in an intimate relationship, careful attention should be paid to the level of mastery each person has over this area.  If either partner has any history of anger mismanagement (explosiveness, somatization, underhandedness.), this will cuase major problems in the marital relationship.

5.  Obstreperousness.   One quality that can destroy a marriage is a critical attitude.  Even if this attitude is largely independent of the other person's actions, it can become a constant source of marital stress.  One quality that should be looked at for both potential partners, prior to blame, is the tendency to find fault, to attribute blame, to make the other person wrong, and to need to portray oneself as always "right."  This quality is highly related to one's score on an "optimism-pessimism" scale.  The more pessimistic a person is, the more likely they are to be obstreperous.

6.  Understandings About Family.   The parenting of children requires a deep and lasting commitment.  The urge to do this, or not do it, usually emerges from a central and highly personal inner place.  It is absolutely critical for matching partners to have this dimension well discussed and decided prior to any serious dating relationship, let alone a committed marriages.  If one person has a strong desire to be a parent and the other has none, the match will likely be a poor one, however well the other dimensions are harmonized.  In this day of so many second and third pairings, the  question o fwhether one party is willing and eager to share in the parenting task, perhaps as a step-parent, is equally critical.  The corresponding matter of how much authority the new parent will have is a vital factor as well.  Finally, if it is a given that children will be involved in the family, careful attention should be given to preferred styles of parenting.

7.  Family Background.   If one or both of the persons has been raised in a dysfunctional atmosphere, there needs to be  adequate evidence that the impact of this emotional atmosphere has been recognized and worked through.  Moreover, each person needs to come to their contemplated partnership with the support of their primary figures-or a full understanding of why that support is not available.  Finally, each person needs to ascertain whether their "in-law" relationships will be positive influences, and if not, whether they can be managed effectively.

8.  Intellect.  There's a considerable body of clinical and empirical data taht indicates the importance of intellectual equality in a marital partnership.  There is no evidence that two people do better in marriage if they are extremely bright, but there is evidence that they need to be at a similar intellectual level, whatever that level may be.   Technically, there is a general rule that there should be no more than one standard deviation of difference in the intelligence level of two persons.

9.  Energy.   Marriages tend to be more successful when the energy levels of two partners are similar.  If one person is highly energized and the other is considerably lower on energy, thre is bound to be difficulty.   Although the amount of energy a person has is often indicative of emotional health, two people with relatively low energy can form a positive relationship if both of them are quite accepting of the other's energy level.

10.  Spirituality.   Perhaps no dimension is more in need o fmatching for any couple than this one.  However, it is at the same time one of the most complex dimensions.  First, the specific faith of each person should be the same.  For example, in the case of Christianity, this includes attentions Protestant versus Catholic, denominational preference, degree of involvement, etc.   Furthermore, it is good to attain "belief alignment" on the role of the church, the nature of God, the place of prayer, the function of Biblical authority, and in relation to specific theological matters.  If the two persons has no spiritual faith, even this needs careful matching.

11.  Education.   As important as intelligence is, our research indicates that for a large sub-sample, more women than men, a generally equal amount of education for each partner is a critical factor.  For instance, women who have finished college or graduate work often prefer to be matched with men who have accomplished at a similar level.  There are many marriages that work well without education equality, but if education has received heavy stress during a person's growing up years, this dimension must be given appropriate attention.

12.  Appearence.   In the culture at large, that is, without any question, the most frequently monitored dimension of simple appearance is more possible.   Most persons are comfortable being being matched with partners within the same "grade level" on appearance.  For instance, are rated on a seven-point scale on appearance, and and when they are matched with persons receiving their same rating-or even at one point point above or below-they are generally satisfied.  It should be noted that spouses who are in love with each other typically rate their partners as two to three scale points higher on appearance than a jury of objective persons rate them.

13.    Sense of Humor. Beyond the fact that "sense of humor" contributes significantly to a person's overall attractiveness, it is a key dimension in the building of a marital bond over the course of a marriage.  Laughter is highly therapeutic in every intimate relationship, and there is evidence that marriages in which there is little laughter tend to suffer considerably more during trying times.  Having "sense of humor" in common does not require that both people be able to generate humor equally.  One person may do this unusually well, while the other person serves as an appreciative audience.  Research indicates that he  key criterion in this regard is for both persons to experience the freeing, lightening, and enlightening effects of shared laughter.  There is a strong correlation between "happy" partners who are thought to have a highly developed sense of humor.

14.   Mood Management.   It is critical that two people be well matched with regard to their moods.  If one person has wide mood fluctuations, the other person needs to have a high degreee of tolerance fo rthis.  It is essential to assess each person's mood management to ascertain that this area will not become provocative in the marriage over time.

15.  Overall Traditional vs. Non-Traditional Personality Orientations.   If two persons are highly traditional in their approach to life, they will tend to get along well.  If one person is quite untraditional, it will be important to find another person who is similarly non-tradional.  For instance, if one person likes to be highly predictable, engages in a significant amount of planning about future events (events transpiring the next day, the next week, or months ahead), this person will be likely be unhappy with someone who prefers a high degree of spontaneity, who chafes under too much "obsessiveness" about planning.

16.    Ambition.   Our research indicates that two well-matched partners need to have approximately the same amount of ambition.   When they do, and assuming they are equally ready to back their ambition with a commensurate amount of hard work, they will have common quality that will contribute substantially to the harmonizing of their relationships.  On the negative side, if there is a large discrepancy between the amount of ambition the two partners have, there will be considerable stress between them.  One person will be intent on pursuing advancement, and the other person will resent the amount of time and energy this requires.

17.  Sexual Passion.   Interpersonal chemistry is assessable by the individuals involved in a pairing, and by them only, but the degree of "generalized passion" that a person possess can be measured.  The passion we are talking about here is sexual passion, and our goal is to  match two persons who have relatively similar levels of sexual passion.

18.  Artistic Passion.   Some people are, right to the center of themselves, artistically inclined.  This is for them a primary personal trait.  Sometimes, these persons are skillful as artists.  They may play an instrument, write music or poetry, paint, sculpt, or sing.  Other people cannot perform, but have they a strong interest in observing, listening, reading, and feeling.  If one of these "artistically inclined" persons is matched with someone who has none of these skills or passions, they are like two strangers with little "soul" compatibility.  Most people with strong artistic feelings and interests simply must be paired with partners who have some of the same.   Otherwise  their marriage seldom works.

19.  Values Orientation.   It is critical for marital partners to have similar to have similar values about the essentials of living.  For instance, their values about social issues, political issues, and environmental issues are highly important.  Also they need to be in strong agreement about money issues.  Their views about about saving money and giving money away should be similar.  When two persons in a marital relationship have values that are highly congruent, meaning agreeable; the marriage almost surely works out better.

20.    Industry.   This dimension has to do with one's orientation towards work.  If one person is a "hard worker" and the other person is a "shirker", there will likely be feelings of resentment and guilt.  For instance, if the woman gets up earlier, works more intensely during the day, andstill has work to do at night, while the man gets up later, works only moderately hard, and stops in the late afternoon for a round of golf, this will put considerable strain on the relationship.  When one party complains about the other being "lazy," and the "lazy" partner complains about the other as a "workaholic" or "obsessive," you are likely to have a mismatch on the dimension of industry.

21.  Curiosity.   This dimension was a latecomer to our list of critical matching qualities.  It also has to do with a need for stimulation, along with a personal strategy to pursue additional information through inquisitiveness.  If one partner is "regularly satisfied" with relatively limited information about anything, while the other partner has a pressing "need to know more" this will typically pull them in two very different directions.  Curiosity is not always healthy ("curiosity killed the cat"), but the degree of health represented by curiosity is beside the point.  In a marital match we are looking for two partners who "harmonize," who can relate to one another's style.  While complimenting can  occur inrelation to some of these discrepancies, our research indicates that similarity on dimensions like curiosity leads to greater marital satisfaction over time.

22.  Vitality and Security.   In seventeen cross-cultural studies, the number one quality cited by men in choosing a partner is the general quality called "fertility," and the number one quality attended to by women is security.  Men apparently look for healthy and vital women, and women look for men who can provide economic and physical security, especially during the childbearing years.  These qualities, extremely important in matching, must leave both partners feeling that they have "gotten a good deal" and "providing maximally" in the area of their fundamental need.

23.  Autonomy vs. Closeness-If one partner desires a significant amount of autonomy to be alone and to do their own thing, and if one partner wants considerably mroe closeness and relational involvement, the match will be difficult.  It is crucial to discover the amount required autonomy and closeness for two individuals and to match them on the basis of their scores in these areas.

24.  Communication.   Two life partners need to have a similar level of interest in communicating with one another and a similar ability to communicate.  While this may be a dimension that can be altered over time (largely because men in our culture receive so little early encouragement and training in the area of communication), the matter of how much and how well two people communicate is one of the two to three most frequent complaints when marriages get into trouble.  The fact is that the vast majority of women want more communication  than their male counterparts, and they are also better able to communicate as well.  When one partner is not interested in or good at communication, and especially when the opposite is very interested and good at it, the marriage will tend to stagnate and prove frustrating for both of them.

25.  Conflict Resolution.   Both partners need to be good at conflict resolution for a marriage to survive and thrive.  There will always be conflict in every relationship, and if it is not promptly resolved, the relationship will suffer.  Conflict resolution is an example of a pre-marital variable that is both an attitude and a skill.  If a couple's attitude is positive about the need for conflict resolution, and if they are willing to work at it, the skill can be developed quite easily but if one or both persons seem unwilling or unable to compromise, to talk things through, to entertain each other's positions, their relationship will suffer greater and greater strain over time.

26.  Sociability.   The degree to which two people both desire interpersonal relationships, and excells at them, needs to be similar for their relationship to thrive.  For instance, some persons demonstrate high attraction to other people, while others prefer to spend significantly more time alone or in just one relationship.  Over time, this variable will be tested over and over.  It is a matter about which premarital matching needs to be carefully concerned.

27.  Adaptabilty.   When all is said and done, this may be the most important dimension of all.  In a society in which change is so prominent, in which there is growing differentiation and individuation, the need for adaptability is crucial.  If every other dimension were perfectly, or almost perfect, matched for two people, we could accept a low adaptability score but where there is some difference between them, it is to adaptability that we look to see if change to unforseen circumstances can occur over time.

28.  Kindness.   In the seventeen cross-cultural studies referred to above, both men and women rated kindness as the second most important quality to look for in a mate.  When a prospective marriage partner has a well-developed capacity to trat other people with kindness, whether it is kindness for their partner, their children, their friends, or even strangers, this quality will always enrich and deepen the marital relationship.  Although kind people can often maintain their kindness over time without reciprocation from their mate, the truly great marriages are those in which kindness is matched by kindness.

29.  Dominance vs. Submissiveness.   If one partner is highly dominant, a marriage will work better if the other partner is significantly more submissive.  Research indicates that matching two persons who are high on dominance-or who are both high on submissiveness-leads to problems in the relationship.  While it is clinically preferable to find two persons, neither of whom unusually dominant or submissive, a satisfactory relationship can be developed by pairing high scores on trait with low scores on the other.

  ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)   


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 04, 2007, 08:31:55 pm
Ok, now with all this in place when did humans begin to understand love?
 ;)


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on June 04, 2007, 10:19:31 pm
Jeannette- It's perfectly understandable if your not comfortable sharing any personal information here.
I have been wanting to ask you about your relationship(s).....

First off, are you comfortable discussing it?
I promice I won't ask any questions that would other-wise be considered to much information.
I'm more curious about what type of emotional bonds you felt, and what you consider when choosing a mate. I research and investigate the paranormal, but this for some reason is becoming even more interesting. I would really like to get more input from everyone about what they experience when falling in-love.

As for the paranormal, it all kind of fits with my theories about spiritual sences and how raw emotion can influence our physical being through the energy our very soul can manipulate. Transfer of energies can take place in more ways then by touching alone. I beleive that by simply loving your life and all living things that this alone can drastically change those negitive energies within. Once this happens, you feel energized and powerful like you can accomplish anything. It can be world changing.
 It goes much deeper then I've explained already.

For now, I am just curious about this feeling and how it changes our individual roles in society.
Everyone that is or has been in-love is encouraged to share if you will.

As for this theory I have about the above comment, think about how being happy can change the way the whole day can unfold for the better.

Emotion is the energy that our soul is made of. The power of will is where I'm going with it all.


Hi Herefornow,

I'm comfortable discussing any aspects of my relationships, so ask away! Not much would be considered too personal to me!

I guess by, "what type of emotional bonds you felt, and what you consider when choosing a mate." you mean to ask what type of guys I am attracted to. 

Well, I'm attracted to guys who:

*Stand up for the underdog.

*Stand up for what they believe in.

*Are responsible and dependable.

*Stand up for women, don't deride us or blame us for society's ills (the coward's way out).

*Are passionate.

*When they make passes, they're a nice surprise.

*Has an inquisitive mind.

*Has a very strong sex drive.

*Appreciates every part of a woman's body, not just the obvious ones.


I think that men and women get to be more intimate the more sex they have together. If it's done right, it can be really nice and makes you bond with one another faster. I think that communication and touching are really key to building a solid relationship.I also think that doing it in exotic locations (like that story of the time in the cave) also tends to really spice things up, too.  I'm a really giving person when I am in love, but the guy I am with has to be a guy that really appreciates women, too (and not just be out to get laid) because true intimacy only begins when you spend a lot of time together.  No ripoff dating service is a decent substitute for that!



 


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on June 04, 2007, 10:29:16 pm

More wishful thinking!  Eharmony says nothing about the chemistry between two people, which is sort of the "magic" that keeps two people together.  Lots of people might look well-matched on paper, unless you actually get in there and have seee where the attraction is, you don't actually know how well you might fit with each other.

Chemistry is left for 2 people to work at once the compatibility is lined up.  This is eHarmony's explanation.  Compatibility 85%, chemistry 15%.

Wrong, chemistry is the most important issue of all - 80% important as opposed to 20% for compatability.  Heck, I'm compatabile with a lot of people I know, both men and women, that's why they're my friends. Chemistry is something I only share with people I share myself with (and who share themselves with me) and that's why they become  lovers.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 04, 2007, 11:12:19 pm
 :D Don't get me wrong here Jeannette, sex is a kind of bonding tool as opposed to not doing it and having two cranky people as an outcome.

Thing is, what if the sex is all they have that does work?
Yet something still doesn't click.
Then where do they turn for the emotional support?

Marriage without love is a tricky one because everything else can be great.
Yet it never seems to be as spiritually deep and fulfilling.
A fine line between happiness and misery seems to be the only thing between love and insanity.
 :)
When I'm not feeling anything, then how do I explain myself?
When I do get this way, I don't want sex or any kind of contact.
I just want to be left alone to get over it.
My wife struggles over this because I can go from hot to cold very quickly depending on whats going on, or when I'm busy working long hours.

Once you've cleaned out your closet, other things tend to refill that space.
Once this happens, you can bet your partner is going to want to know whats going on.
Sex at that point no matter how good it is, sometimes isn't enough.
So then what do you tell them?  ;)

Yeah, that one isn't so easy.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on June 05, 2007, 08:28:14 am

Well, I'm attracted to guys who:



*Stand up for women, don't deride us or blame us for society's ills (the coward's way out).


  ::) In other words a cluless metrosexual type who doesn't have the courage to categorize shenoms, noblewomen and goddess-girls from gold-diggers, cuntras and divas.


*Has an inquisitive mind.

Until he is smarter than you and you're unable to maintain control.

I think that men and women get to be more intimate the more sex they have together. If it's done right, it can be really nice and makes you bond with one another faster. I think that communication and touching are really key to building a solid relationship.  I also think that doing it in exotic locations (like that story of the time in the cave) also tends to really spice things up, too.  I'm a really giving person when I am in love, but the guy I am with has to be a guy that really appreciates women, too (and not just be out to get laid) because true intimacy only begins when you spend a lot of time together.

Great you've gotten 17 and 23 down  ;) now what about the other 27 ??   ??? ???


No ripoff dating service is a decent substitute for that!

Well with 90 marriages a day thank God eHarmony doesn't fit into that category.    ;D
 


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on June 05, 2007, 08:35:35 am
Ok, now with all this in place when did humans begin to understand love?
 ;)

I'm beginning to think we had a little exo-human influence, think of it Venus is known as the planet of love and is only .3 astronomical units from Earth.

Before that I would have to say right after mitochondrial-Eve reproduced and allowed all future females the fertility to reproduce.  Since men had to be the one to fertilize women's now active zygotes the hormones oxytocin and vassopressin allowed bonding to occur between both.  That and much Anunnaki oversight, the adamu-es needed to farm and do mining while the eves acted as the mamis (mommies) to the children.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 05, 2007, 10:46:13 am
Well that certainly is the most scientific explanation I ever heard.   ;D


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on June 06, 2007, 09:36:37 am
When you came here you had to realize that you'd be privvy to realities and facts that the general public has kept hidden from them.

We are so fortunate.  8)


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on June 06, 2007, 01:18:17 pm
:D Don't get me wrong here Jeannette, sex is a kind of bonding tool as opposed to not doing it and having two cranky people as an outcome.

Thing is, what if the sex is all they have that does work?
Yet something still doesn't click.
Then where do they turn for the emotional support?

Marriage without love is a tricky one because everything else can be great.
Yet it never seems to be as spiritually deep and fulfilling.
A fine line between happiness and misery seems to be the only thing between love and insanity.
 :)
When I'm not feeling anything, then how do I explain myself?
When I do get this way, I don't want sex or any kind of contact.
I just want to be left alone to get over it.
My wife struggles over this because I can go from hot to cold very quickly depending on whats going on, or when I'm busy working long hours.

Once you've cleaned out your closet, other things tend to refill that space.
Once this happens, you can bet your partner is going to want to know whats going on.
Sex at that point no matter how good it is, sometimes isn't enough.
So then what do you tell them?  ;)

Yeah, that one isn't so easy.

It can't be just about the sex, you have to have a connection going in, else the sex isn't as good. Sounds like the two of you are lacking chemistry. Did you ever have it?  Were you ever in love with her or did you fall out of love with her?

The best relationships start with passion, then build intimacy and excitement, and you are just crazy being with each other. 

I have never had any kids yet, but I'm told that kids "change things." The passionate becomes the ordinary, on the other hand, kids are often their own reward.

So, I guess the question is, which is more important, passion or a family?


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on June 06, 2007, 01:22:38 pm

Well, I'm attracted to guys who:



*Stand up for women, don't deride us or blame us for society's ills (the coward's way out).


  ::) In other words a cluless metrosexual type who doesn't have the courage to categorize shenoms, noblewomen and goddess-girls from gold-diggers, cuntras and divas.


*Has an inquisitive mind.

Until he is smarter than you and you're unable to maintain control.

I think that men and women get to be more intimate the more sex they have together. If it's done right, it can be really nice and makes you bond with one another faster. I think that communication and touching are really key to building a solid relationship.  I also think that doing it in exotic locations (like that story of the time in the cave) also tends to really spice things up, too.  I'm a really giving person when I am in love, but the guy I am with has to be a guy that really appreciates women, too (and not just be out to get laid) because true intimacy only begins when you spend a lot of time together.

Great you've gotten 17 and 23 down  ;) now what about the other 27 ??   ??? ???


No ripoff dating service is a decent substitute for that!

Well with 90 marriages a day thank God eHarmony doesn't fit into that category.    ;D
 

I didn't expect you to have any interest in my list, Volitzer, you have all the worse attributes of guys yourself!  I especially like the way you try and blame women for your problems, cowards do that. 

I have never blamed guys for all my problems, even though I have run across some crummy guys in my time.  The reason I don't do that is because I have the intellect to not type all guys the same way.

You, on the other hand, seem to group all women the same way and blame them for your own shortcomings (witness, your reluctance to accept Jade's challenge and actually take a look at yourself). 


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 06, 2007, 06:13:46 pm
Jean, family is more important to me. Thing is, I am curious about all the other things even though I won't act on anything.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on June 07, 2007, 10:52:14 am

I didn't expect you to have any interest in my list, Volitzer, you have all the worse attributes of guys yourself!  I especially like the way you try and blame women for your problems, cowards do that. 

Worse attributes!!!   :o :o :o  You realize how many women I've driven home after they get into arguments and fights with their boyfriends.   :(  I'm still trying to figure you out, but Jade is just mad because her and her fellow feminists can't lord the secrets of female relationships over men any more.  The truth is that women can have emotional red-flags and be of bad character which affects their relationships as well. 

I have never blamed guys for all my problems, even though I have run across some crummy guys in my time.  The reason I don't do that is because I have the intellect to not type all guys the same way.

Would it be fair to attribute you problems to 'incompatibility' issues??

Nor do I.   In most states of America cuntra-cultures don't even exist.   However in New York there is a cuntra-culture that affects the dating environment very adversely.


You, on the other hand, seem to group all women the same way and blame them for your own shortcomings (witness, your reluctance to accept Jade's challenge and actually take a look at yourself). 

  No.   I blame the cuntra-culture here in NYS for being so arrogant yet always ending up on the wrong side of a beating, or a knock up then they love to tell media feminists that we need to have tougher dead-beat dad laws.

Oh yeah like Jade is any sort of expert on anything to be casting judgement of any type.  If there was anything seriously wrong with me I would've been red-flagged at eHarmony myself and not allowed to participate until I cleared up what emotionally ailed me.    If  Jade would sit down and read all 29 dimensions and see for herself she'd stop looking so foolish.  I've noticed no one here has been able to spell out any flaws.  Are you guys being polite because I am not a student of political correctness.

If eHarmony is successful than I have no doubt that battered women shelters will go the way of leaded gasoline.   Jade is just resisting change is all.




Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on June 07, 2007, 11:42:29 am

I didn't expect you to have any interest in my list, Volitzer, you have all the worse attributes of guys yourself! 

I'm just being honest here.  If you met me in person you might think very different of me.

The women here represent normal intellectuall American women.  I'm just trying to gain insight on how you ladies think.  Yes I have exposed some ugly sides of gyne-American culture but if you notice the only one I've really critqued rather harshly is Jade.  She's got a good man in her life and she don't need feminists ruining it on her by clinging to failed feminist ideals.

If anything I was figuring that women like Dawn, Sarah, and others to provide more insight.  Veronica, Raven, Jill and Pagan have done the best jobs so far giving certain feminine insights.

I would love to know how women pick apart men, what do they look for, what goes wrong when they shack up with an abuser, why certain women keep shacking up with abusers, does it matter the way a man dresses, is it mainly about hygiene,  why do some women find gay men attractive??

I've demystified normal heterosexual relations with eHarmony insights. 

Like that Rick Springfield song Jesse's Girl.  This is many men's frustration not only with friends at times but when we see women in bad relationships especially with someone we know is totally wrong for them.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on June 07, 2007, 12:09:13 pm
Quote
I've really critqued rather harshly is Jade.  She's got a good man in her life and she don't need feminists ruining it on her by clinging to failed feminist ideals.

Just because a woman is in a relationship doesn't mean she is going to give up on being liberated or a feminist!  Geez!  Where did you get that from?


Quote
I would love to know how women pick apart men, what do they look for,


I already told you my list, I'll also add "kind" to the list as well.

Quote
what goes wrong when they shack up with an abuser,

No one sets out to shack up with an abuser.  Guys change, when they get stress, a lot of them can't handle it.  Some women stay because they are financially dependent on them, more often, it's cause the guy has threatened to kill them if they leave.


Quote
does it matter the way a man dresses,


Not really, unless he dresses like a freak.

Quote
is it mainly about hygiene,
 


It is for me, I wouldn't go with a stinky guy. 

Quote
why do some women find gay men attractive??

Gay guys as friends work because there is no reason to feel threatened around them.  It's a challenge to also try and turn them straight, for some women. I don't think a lot of them have thought that through, though, cause bisexual men can also pass along AIDS  through unprotected sex.



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on June 07, 2007, 12:14:58 pm
Quote
No.   I blame the cuntra-culture here in NYS for being so arrogant yet always ending up on the wrong side of a beating, or a knock up then they love to tell media feminists that we need to have tougher dead-beat dad laws.

There do need to be tougher deadbeat dad laws.  If men didn't walk away from their responsibilites often as they did, they wouldn't need them.  A man gets a woman pregnant, it doesn't happen on her own (unless you're the Virgin Mary). Like the old saying goes, "if you can't do the time, you shouldn't do the crime."

And as for blaming the victims of domestic abuse for their own beatings, that's just plain sick.  You really need to get off that crap, as I imagine it alienates most of the women here.

By your logic, **** victims would also be responsible for being raped.  That logic is the height of all stupidity.

Quote
Oh yeah like Jade is any sort of expert on anything to be casting judgement of any type.

The exercise she gave you was to learn about yourself, to try and get you to look at your flaws (ten posts about them in a row) as opposed to you always trying to blame women for your relationship issues.  You should still do it.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on June 08, 2007, 11:04:24 am
Quote
I've really critqued rather harshly is Jade.  She's got a good man in her life and she don't need feminists ruining it on her by clinging to failed feminist ideals.

Just because a woman is in a relationship doesn't mean she is going to give up on being liberated or a feminist!  Geez!  Where did you get that from?

Feminists have been infiltrated by the international-socialist-order to destroy the American family and since the 1970s and they've done a pretty good job.

I already told you my list, I'll also add "kind" to the list as well.

No offense but your list is too general and not too different from any other female's list.  Don't you have anything unique that attracts you to men???

Quote
what goes wrong when they shack up with an abuser?

No one sets out to shack up with an abuser.  Guys change, when they get stress, a lot of them can't handle it.  Some women stay because they are financially dependent on them, more often, it's cause the guy has threatened to kill them if they leave.


Quote
does it matter the way a man dresses,


Not really, unless he dresses like a freak.

Quote
is it mainly about hygiene,
 


It is for me, I wouldn't go with a stinky guy. 

Quote
why do some women find gay men attractive??

Gay guys as friends work because there is no reason to feel threatened around them.  It's a challenge to also try and turn them straight, for some women. I don't think a lot of them have thought that through, though, cause bisexual men can also pass along AIDS  through unprotected sex.

Good point!!!




Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on June 08, 2007, 11:18:21 am

There do need to be tougher deadbeat dad laws.  If men didn't walk away from their responsibilites often as they did, they wouldn't need them.  A man gets a woman pregnant, it doesn't happen on her own (unless you're the Virgin Mary). Like the old saying goes, "if you can't do the time, you shouldn't do the crime."

  Okay now why can't women use their anterior cingulate cortex and use dimensions numbers 6 & 7, Understandings About Family, and Family Values before having sex and getting pregnant?? 

And as for blaming the victims of domestic abuse for their own beatings, that's just plain sick.  You really need to get off that crap, as I imagine it alienates most of the women here.

Again where is the anterior cingulate cortex in all this??  Why does it read into lateness and other silly things but fails at dimensional analysis??

By your logic, **** victims would also be responsible for being raped.  That logic is the height of all stupidity.

No **** is forced and is not a choice, domestic abuse is voluntary and is a choice.

The exercise she gave you was to learn about yourself, to try and get you to look at your flaws (ten posts about them in a row) as opposed to you always trying to blame women for your relationship issues.  You should still do it.

Now that I'm in a great one... why should I ?? ???  I mean there's no one that's perfect and besides what Jade sees as a flaw, my eHarmony sweetie could see as a strength. 

I could post my eHarmony profile.    ;D


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on June 08, 2007, 01:08:34 pm
Quote
No **** is forced and is not a choice, domestic abuse is voluntary and is a choice.


Before I go off on you big-time, do you actually mean to say that a woman choses domestic abuse?


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on June 08, 2007, 01:22:34 pm
Quote
Feminists have been infiltrated by the international-socialist-order to destroy the American family and since the 1970s and they've done a pretty good job.


That's right wing propaganda, most feminists are concerned with getting women more rights in the workplace and more protections in society.  With that, they (we) have done a pretty good job! 

Quote
No offense but your list is too general and not too different from any other female's list.  Don't you have anything unique that attracts you to men???


Sure, I like nice eyes and I like tall guys, and guys with a sense of humor, but most women say that as well.  I guess when it comes down to it, women shouldn't be that hard to figure out then cause we pretty much all want the same things.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 08, 2007, 06:51:32 pm
I like shorter women between 5-3 and 5-8 with reallly pretty eyes and hair color is no issue.
LOL

I'm not hard to figure out either.
Although, I love red hair. Lilith really got into my head.  :)


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on June 09, 2007, 11:16:37 am
Quote
No **** is forced and is not a choice, domestic abuse is voluntary and is a choice.


Before I go off on you big-time, do you actually mean to say that a woman choses domestic abuse?

Only in NYS, the rest of the world it may be a matter of being trapped by circumstance.  No insult intended here.  Like my eHarmony sweetie keeps saying NY women are a breed of their own.

However we as guys see women put up with a lot of crap from jerk-guys and are stunned in amazement at times.

Liike in Spiderman 1, a lot of the Peter-Parker types see a lot of Mary-Jane-Watson types date a lot of obnoxious Flash-Thompson types and wonder... what the hell ??  ???


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on June 09, 2007, 11:27:12 am
Quote
Feminists have been infiltrated by the international-socialist-order to destroy the American family and since the 1970s and they've done a pretty good job.


That's right wing propaganda, most feminists are concerned with getting women more rights in the workplace and more protections in society.  With that, they (we) have done a pretty good job! 

I agree, it wasn't until feminism went down the professional victim route it lost momentum in many people's eyes.

Quote
No offense but your list is too general and not too different from any other female's list.  Don't you have anything unique that attracts you to men???


Sure, I like nice eyes and I like tall guys, and guys with a sense of humor, but most women say that as well.  I guess when it comes down to it, women shouldn't be that hard to figure out then cause we pretty much all want the same things.

So it doesn't matter if the guy's a jock, on the nerdy side, a musician, artsy, Future Business Leader of America type, Political savant, or military type it doesn't matter to you??    From what I see musicians and artists always stand out cuz women see those as guys in touch with their feelings more.  That's great you'd give all categories of guys an equal chance.  :)

Here in NY there's such classism it's sick. 



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on June 09, 2007, 11:30:28 am

Sure, I like nice eyes and I like tall guys, and guys with a sense of humor, but most women say that as well.  I guess when it comes down to it, women shouldn't be that hard to figure out then cause we pretty much all want the same things.

So what have you and Jade to say about the 29 dimension dynamic??

How will eHarmony interact with feminism in the future??   Wouldn't a feminist want someone who is compatible with her??


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on June 09, 2007, 11:48:52 am

There do need to be tougher deadbeat dad laws.  If men didn't walk away from their responsibilites often as they did, they wouldn't need them.  A man gets a woman pregnant, it doesn't happen on her own (unless you're the Virgin Mary). Like the old saying goes, "if you can't do the time, you shouldn't do the crime."

  Okay now why can't women use their anterior cingulate cortex and use dimensions numbers 6 & 7, Understandings About Family, and Family Values before having sex and getting pregnant?? 

And as for blaming the victims of domestic abuse for their own beatings, that's just plain sick.  You really need to get off that crap, as I imagine it alienates most of the women here.

Again where is the anterior cingulate cortex in all this??  Why does it read into lateness and other silly things but fails at dimensional analysis??

By your logic, **** victims would also be responsible for being raped.  That logic is the height of all stupidity.

No **** is forced and is not a choice, domestic abuse is voluntary and is a choice.

The exercise she gave you was to learn about yourself, to try and get you to look at your flaws (ten posts about them in a row) as opposed to you always trying to blame women for your relationship issues.  You should still do it.

Now that I'm in a great one... why should I ?? ???  I mean there's no one that's perfect and besides what Jade sees as a flaw, my eHarmony sweetie could see as a strength. 

I could post my eHarmony profile.    ;D

Still want to read what goes on with my personality.  I was surprised with some things myself.   :o


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 10, 2007, 10:24:47 am
Ok, Post it!
 ;D

On the note of domestic abuse. I have involutarely been a victom.
My ex, launched me over the back of a couch once just because I smiled during an argument.

Instead of hitting back, I walked away with one eye swelled shut.
She then ran out behind me and hit me like 20 more times.
Never swinging back, I then turned to her and asked her if this is how she likes me to look.

She began to cry, and then finally tried to apologize.
I finally left her after putting up with it for 3 years.
As a result of the abuse I endured, I went 2 years without any interaction with anyone.
I wasn't going to be physically or mentally abused any more.

When I met my wife after that 2 years, I was unable to feel the attachment that I should have because I did not want any women to think they could just rip my heart out again and again. She later proved that she wasn't out to control or abuse me.
Yet, my past experiences to this day keeps me from loving anyone as much as I wish I could.

It's a truth that I just relized recently, and it's a part of me that I need to let go of.
 >:( I hate what domestic abuse can do to people. It's like it just rips out your very soul.
Leaves one feeling empty and distrustful of everything and everyone.
Always building walls that allow all the wrong ones in and keeps the right ones out.
In my case, the only reason I was able to leave the one who punished me for loving them was the fact that I was not affraid of her.

That is the only way someone can make the choice to leave. If they are affraid, then it's not an option for them. It becomes a matter of survival to stay. I feel so bad for anyone, (ecspecially women) who are in this situation. I here about women who were beatin to death by men. I totally despise men who hit women and the same goes for women who do this to men. If you really want to be with someone, fear is not a tool for sustaining a relationship.

Here it is, 12 years later and right under my left eye is a permanent reminder of what abuse can do to a persons very soul.



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on June 12, 2007, 03:12:27 pm
Quote
I agree, it wasn't until feminism went down the professional victim route it lost momentum in many people's eyes.


Do you know how workplace harrassment suits started in the United States, Volitzer?  It began with the case Jenson v. Eveleth Taconite Co. (1988)

Quote
Lois E. Jenson v. Eveleth Taconite Co. was the first class-action sexual harassment lawsuit in the United States, filed in 1988 on behalf of Lois Jenson and other female workers at the EVTAC mine in Eveleth, Minnesota on the state's northern Mesabi Range, which is part of the Iron Range. The case was documented in the 2002 book Class Action and a 2005 fictionalized film version, North Country.


Jenson first began working at the site in 1975 and along with other women, endured a continuous stream of abhorrent behavior from male employees, including sexual harassment, abusive language, threats, stalking and intimidation. In October 1984, she mailed a complaint to the Minnesota Department of Human Rights [1] outlining the problems she experienced. In retaliation, her car tires were slashed a week later. The state requested that Ogelbay Norton Co.[2], a Cleveland, Ohio-based part-owner of the mine, pay US$ 11,000 to Jenson in damages, but the company refused.

They made a film on it, North Country, see it before you complain about the kinds of things women have to go through at work. 


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on June 12, 2007, 03:14:10 pm
Quote
Now that I'm in a great one... why should I ??   I mean there's no one that's perfect and besides what Jade sees as a flaw, my eHarmony sweetie could see as a strength. 


I doubt that.  Why don't you ask her what she thinks are your strengths and flaws?

Then let us all here know the answer.   :D


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on June 12, 2007, 03:16:29 pm
Ok, Post it!
 ;D

On the note of domestic abuse. I have involutarely been a victom.
My ex, launched me over the back of a couch once just because I smiled during an argument.

Instead of hitting back, I walked away with one eye swelled shut.
She then ran out behind me and hit me like 20 more times.
Never swinging back, I then turned to her and asked her if this is how she likes me to look.

She began to cry, and then finally tried to apologize.
I finally left her after putting up with it for 3 years.
As a result of the abuse I endured, I went 2 years without any interaction with anyone.
I wasn't going to be physically or mentally abused any more.

When I met my wife after that 2 years, I was unable to feel the attachment that I should have because I did not want any women to think they could just rip my heart out again and again. She later proved that she wasn't out to control or abuse me.
Yet, my past experiences to this day keeps me from loving anyone as much as I wish I could.

It's a truth that I just relized recently, and it's a part of me that I need to let go of.
 >:( I hate what domestic abuse can do to people. It's like it just rips out your very soul.
Leaves one feeling empty and distrustful of everything and everyone.
Always building walls that allow all the wrong ones in and keeps the right ones out.
In my case, the only reason I was able to leave the one who punished me for loving them was the fact that I was not affraid of her.

That is the only way someone can make the choice to leave. If they are affraid, then it's not an option for them. It becomes a matter of survival to stay. I feel so bad for anyone, (ecspecially women) who are in this situation. I here about women who were beatin to death by men. I totally despise men who hit women and the same goes for women who do this to men. If you really want to be with someone, fear is not a tool for sustaining a relationship.

Here it is, 12 years later and right under my left eye is a permanent reminder of what abuse can do to a persons very soul.



Wow, you are one heck of a guy to put up with all that, HFN.  But, in the long run, you aren't doing yourself any good. You should have called the cops.

A woman shouldn't be hitting a man anymore than a guy should be hitting a woman, no one should be hitting each other!  Violence is not the way to solve a problem. 


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 12, 2007, 08:46:21 pm
Well Jean, I loved her at the time.
The whole thing did a real number on me.

I'm thankful that it is over and I was atleast able to move on without anymore problems.
The really sick thing about it all was when my ex found out I was getting married.
She actually tried to sleep with me just to sway my decision. I smiled and told her no, then walked away.
                                     
DON'T NEED THAT DRAMA!


I could go on and on about all the times I could have and denied her that oppurtunity.
The sick part about me was when I did sleep with my ex's best-friend and ended up in that relationship I told you all about. Remember the affair I had while I was married?
 :-\
That attraction started way before my wife or my ex.
Pretty heavy, huh?

Now, I have my sanity and my experience to guide me through the rainy days ahead.
As for my lover, ex-wife, and present wife, I plan to remain a friend.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on June 13, 2007, 12:56:04 pm
Quote
Now that I'm in a great one... why should I ??   I mean there's no one that's perfect and besides what Jade sees as a flaw, my eHarmony sweetie could see as a strength. 


I doubt that.  Why don't you ask her what she thinks are your strengths and flaws?

Then let us all here know the answer.   :D

I'm there for her when she looses a job, and when she's sick and just stressing out.  I'm more than just a fair-weather boyfriend, which is a major flaw with NY women.  You got the money and the good times they'll be around, go through a job loss or bankruptcy and watch the rats leave the sinking ship.

I wonder how many women this applies to here.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 13, 2007, 03:17:59 pm
Interesting that you mention job loss.
I was dislocated from March 15 of this year to May 22...

I knew how to build so now thats what I'm doing for a living.
I love it! In the whole process, my friends were are trying to pull me into their shops.
No one bailed.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on June 14, 2007, 11:45:15 am
What's amazing about NY women is that even when they're not working and you loose your job they get all like "Wot the hell??"  I know this happens elsewhere as well but it's like 90% of women here.

I wonder how much monetary stress is behind beatings here.  Too bad no one will keep stats like that.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on June 14, 2007, 11:48:23 am
Quote
Now that I'm in a great one... why should I ??   I mean there's no one that's perfect and besides what Jade sees as a flaw, my eHarmony sweetie could see as a strength. 


I doubt that.  Why don't you ask her what she thinks are your strengths and flaws?

Then let us all here know the answer.   :D

She sent me a book by the Dahli Lama titled.  "How to see yourself for who you really are."  :o

I'm only finished Chapter 1 thus far, but I admit to her that New York isn't the most normal place for human relationships.   :D


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 14, 2007, 03:49:09 pm
Alot of relationships fail because of stress...

Other factors do apply to how the couple handles it.
Screeming and yelling is not productive. One of the things I am doing different is exercising and worrying about one thing at a time.

I take martial arts to help me with most kinds of stress. The other things I was getting stressed out about, became so much easier for me to deal with after I changed my thinking about them. Now when the height of stress peaks and I feel like I just want to explode, I go into my basement for about 10 minutes with ear plugs and sit with my eyes closed and it creates an emotional bypass for me. My wife, will go for a drive through Harborcreek, or Northeast twp. (back country)

The smell of the cut grass and fresh air helps her. It just takes a moment to clear your mind and focas on one task at a time. Stress kinda just flows away for the moment and it does make it easier to talk about what needs to be done.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 14, 2007, 04:05:00 pm
Getting back to the work related stress, I was outta work and at first it was very stressful for me.
I know things are bad all over the country so instead of going and doing what every one else was for work, I turned to something that I really like doing and decided on how I wanted to go about making money doing it. Once the smoke cleared and the battle was over, I arose from my fox hole with a loaded M-16 and went forth conquering. Instead of looking for yes's, I want to see how many no's I could find first. After 2 no's, I found that yes quickly using this approach.  ;)


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: rockessence on June 14, 2007, 05:08:17 pm

Doesn't sound as if the battle is over if you have to go around conquering...

Rock-Medicine has an easy and quick remedy for the effects of stress....petrified wood, a small piece held in the hand or in the sock, as long as it touches your skin.   A small bead of it on a string can be worn on the neck, wrist, ankle.....  just don't wear any silver at the same time or you won't get the physical attributes of it, only the mental and emotional.   It completely changes the way stress affects you.  Of course it doesn't stop stressful things from happening, just how you are affected.  I have been using it for 10 years now.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 14, 2007, 06:31:23 pm

Doesn't sound as if the battle is over if you have to go around conquering...


It's a man thang!  (kidding)



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 14, 2007, 11:49:15 pm
Rockessence- You mentioned before that you prefer men to be husky, healthy, strong.
What was it that caught your inner most love, the most for him? I'm only asking in regaurds to research.
 :) I'm curious about what worked for others.



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 15, 2007, 12:06:18 am
What's amazing about NY women is that even when they're not working and you loose your job they get all like "Wot the hell??"  I know this happens elsewhere as well but it's like 90% of women here.

I wonder how much monetary stress is behind beatings here.  Too bad no one will keep stats like that.


I can only speak from my own understanding of it.
Money problems do cause stress. Frustration and depression are also very likely motivators for this crime.
I went through it because she left me, to handle everything form raising her 2 kids, almost all the house work, and only source of income; Just to waste away in a bar stool with people who pretended to like her.

One day I decided enough was enough. I made suggestions to her about spending time with her children, or going to work. She got really pist off and started screaming in my face. I ofcourse smiled then actually laughed, and the rest you know. In 3 and half years it happened about 12 times.

And out of it all, what stress did she have?


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 15, 2007, 12:19:48 am
Confession Time



 :-X

I know I should have told you all this before and please don't expell me for this.
This will probably be an even bigger shock to some of the old timers.
I'm Really a Woman

 :-*
SURPRIZE!



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 15, 2007, 12:22:15 am
This might not surprize a few of you though.  ;)


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: rockessence on June 15, 2007, 02:03:16 am
Rockessence- You mentioned before that you prefer men to be husky, healthy, strong.
What was it that caught your inner most love, the most for him? I'm only asking in regaurds to research.
 :) I'm curious about what worked for others.



WHAT!!!??  That was not I who said that.... 

What always got me was intelligence and humor.... most men can be a good lover if they have those two attributes.   Oh, and sweet natured.    Looks are not highest on my list.   

RE you being a woman...I almost asked you that once Heref.  Then I thought, why bring it up...if you wanted to mention it you would.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Trent on June 15, 2007, 02:45:34 am
Confession Time



 :-X

I know I should have told you all this before and please don't expell me for this.
This will probably be an even bigger shock to some of the old timers.
I'm Really a Woman

 :-*
SURPRIZE!



Really?

You don't "read" like a woman.  News to me (if it's true)  I doubt anyone would expel you for it, though.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on June 15, 2007, 08:15:31 am
Confession Time



 :-X

I know I should have told you all this before and please don't expell me for this.
This will probably be an even bigger shock to some of the old timers.
I'm Really a Woman

 :-*
SURPRIZE!



I thought your metro-sexual Norbit story was kind of a stretch.   

Either that or you're his girlfriend who has accessed his account.   ???


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeremy Dokken on June 15, 2007, 11:26:45 am
I doubt very much HFN is a chick.  More likely, his wife got a hold of his log in here, or he's playing a prank, for whatever reason.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 15, 2007, 12:58:16 pm
LOL I am just playing a prank...
I'm a dude... I found myself discussing something that I felt my female friends could relate more easily then alot of the males could. I wanted to see if I could trip Volitzer out, by saying I was woman after all these years. LOL

Rockessence- my apologies. I thought it was you that published that.

 ;D

I was just having fun.
And Volitzer, metro-sexual story is not as far fetched as you might think.
I really did endure everything I published openly.

My reason for it? I thought I was in-love.
As it turned out, I wasn't and I stopped even trying to be for all the obvious reasons.



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 15, 2007, 01:02:17 pm
Trent- You are a very cool person.
I can also relate to what you are saying about my words not being expressed from a female perspective.



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 15, 2007, 01:06:37 pm
I doubt very much HFN is a chick.  More likely, his wife got a hold of his log in here, or he's playing a prank, for whatever reason.

LOL
Once you tell someone, "I Do"....
Your log as you say is not yours anymore.

Your soul might belong to Jesus, but your rear belongs to the Mrs....


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 15, 2007, 01:10:28 pm
Confession Time



 :-X

I know I should have told you all this before and please don't expell me for this.
This will probably be an even bigger shock to some of the old timers.
I'm Really a Woman

 :-*
SURPRIZE!



I thought your metro-sexual Norbit story was kind of a stretch.   

Either that or your his girlfriend who has accessed his account.   ???

Girl-friend?

My wife kows how I feel and I'm currently not seeing anyone besides my spouce.
 ;) Made you think though huh? I know it made you smile though Volitzer, and because I do consider a friend regaurdless of your veiws, I couldn't resist a chance to make you do one of these.   :o
Whoa!


Although if we are anything alike, you probably rolled your eyes.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on June 15, 2007, 01:30:47 pm
I agree with Trent and Jeremy, I don't think you "read" like a woman. 

Why?  Sure, it's sometimes fun to screw around, but most women are looking for reasons to be monogamous.  For most guys, they are looking for a reason to screw around. Being monogamous for a guy is a pain, when, to be frank, it's in a guy's nature to cheat. 

I have heard that even gay guys have way more partners than gay women. 

No offense, but you seem like you're just looking for the right opportunity to have an affair, HFN.  Am I right?


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on June 15, 2007, 01:33:07 pm
I sure wouldn't play a prank like that again, by the way, as it is only going to confuse Volitzer!  As anyone who has read his posts can already tell, he is confused enough as it is!  Especially when it comes to how men should relate to women.

(Joking, Volitzer)


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on June 15, 2007, 03:20:28 pm


Really?

You don't "read" like a woman.  News to me (if it's true)  I doubt anyone would expel you for it, though.

And just how does one read like a woman?? ???


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on June 15, 2007, 03:24:56 pm
Trent- You are a very cool person.
I can also relate to what you are saying about my words not being expressed from a female perspective.



Yeah you're both metrosexuals.   ;D ;D ;D


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on June 15, 2007, 03:28:08 pm
Confession Time



 :-X

I know I should have told you all this before and please don't expell me for this.
This will probably be an even bigger shock to some of the old timers.
I'm Really a Woman

 :-*
SURPRIZE!



I thought your metro-sexual Norbit story was kind of a stretch.   

Either that or your his girlfriend who has accessed his account.   ???

Girl-friend?

My wife kows how I feel and I'm currently not seeing anyone besides my spouce.
 ;) Made you think though huh? I know it made you smile though Volitzer, and because I do consider a friend regaurdless of your veiws, I couldn't resist a chance to make you do one of these.   :o
Whoa!


Although if we are anything alike, you probably rolled your eyes.

Okay where's Alan Funt??

Is Ed McMahon and Dick Clark going to pop out here somewhere?? 


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on June 15, 2007, 03:47:47 pm
I agree with Trent and Jeremy, I don't think you "read" like a woman. 

Why?  Sure, it's sometimes fun to screw around, but most women are looking for reasons to be monogamous.  For most guys, they are looking for a reason to screw around. Being monogamous for a guy is a pain, when, to be frank, it's in a guy's nature to cheat. 

I have heard that even gay guys have way more partners than gay women. 

No offense, but you seem like you're just looking for the right opportunity to have an affair, HFN.  Am I right?

Okay masculinist mode on:   :D

 :'( :'( :'(  Typical feminist thinking, you go to your N.O.W. meetings where you collect FHM, Stuff and other manly magazines where users and man-whores write the majority of the articles and project that behavior onto the male population as a whole.   :'( :'( :'(

masculinist mode off:   ;D

With all the STDs out there and crazy women many men are thrilled to settle down with one great woman.  Besides at many dating websites men make up slightly ministore than half the members.

Also who bashes eharmony here more men or women ??   Despite the tens of thousands of marriages they facillitate each year.  :o  You'd think that anything that brings couples together into monogamy would be praised by women but instead eHarmony gets bashing here and feminism doesn't.

Jeanette if you got a lot of players in your town I think your dating environment is a bad one as well.  However not all men are players.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on June 15, 2007, 03:56:12 pm
I sure wouldn't play a prank like that again, by the way, as it is only going to confuse Volitzer!  As anyone who has read his posts can already tell, he is confused enough as it is!  Especially when it comes to how men should relate to women.

(Joking, Volitzer)

Explain the whole "reading like a woman bit" to me please.  How is it that Trent and Jeremy as well as yourself knew he wasn't reading like a woman ???

With all those curves I guess I missed the fine print.   ;D


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on June 15, 2007, 03:58:26 pm
That Shawnadithit dim-wit was really Epsilon from AR.  Of course Epsilon is multiple college students doing a study on internet personalities.

The conclusions they drawing from me might cause some book burning in the future.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Trent on June 15, 2007, 04:23:55 pm
Trent- You are a very cool person.
I can also relate to what you are saying about my words not being expressed from a female perspective.



Yeah you're both metrosexuals.   ;D ;D ;D

Maybe, but we both get laid, Volitzer.  Up until recently, you couldn't say the same.  :)


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on June 15, 2007, 06:03:53 pm
I know eHarmony is great making intelligence and intellect dating assests again.  8)


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 16, 2007, 12:05:12 am
I agree with Trent and Jeremy, I don't think you "read" like a woman. 

Why?  Sure, it's sometimes fun to screw around, but most women are looking for reasons to be monogamous.  For most guys, they are looking for a reason to screw around. Being monogamous for a guy is a pain, when, to be frank, it's in a guy's nature to cheat. 

I have heard that even gay guys have way more partners than gay women. 

No offense, but you seem like you're just looking for the right opportunity to have an affair, HFN.  Am I right?

At one time in my life I can honestly say yes I was looking to "Play The Game"...
Now there really isn't a good time or bad time to do anything besides staying focased on my priorities.
I don't know Jean. I guess the only way I can answer that honestly is to say that it's not beneith me to do so.
 :)
 I'm not planning one at the moment, yet it's something that may one day happen.
I't's not that easy, and if I ever did go through with it again it's going to be all or nothing.
Then again, I don't want to hurt anyone else. Ecspecially my wife, which takes us back to why I am so emotionally strained about all of this.

For now, I'm praying that the love of my life doesn't find me right now. LOL
Good question though. Made me think.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 16, 2007, 12:08:13 am
That Shawnadithit dim-wit was really Epsilon from AR.  Of course Epsilon is multiple college students doing a study on internet personalities.

The conclusions they drawing from me might cause some book burning in the future.

I did not know that.... Wow...
So everything was a test. Hmmm

Volitzer have you heard from them/her over in AR?


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 16, 2007, 12:11:47 am
Trent- You are a very cool person.
I can also relate to what you are saying about my words not being expressed from a female perspective.



Yeah you're both metrosexuals.   ;D ;D ;D

LOL

Atleast I don't call out my own name when I make love.  ;D
I call myself "baby"...
(kidding)


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 16, 2007, 01:42:54 pm
Jean, I'm curious.

Do you beleive that men cheat out of selfishness or out of instict?


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on June 16, 2007, 02:48:42 pm
 :)


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on June 17, 2007, 06:32:02 pm
Jean, I'm curious.

Do you beleive that men cheat out of selfishness or out of instict?

Dissatisfaction.

Like when one woman aint cutting it as far as chemistry and compatibility are concerned.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on June 17, 2007, 07:20:35 pm
Jean, I'm curious.

Do you beleive that men cheat out of selfishness or out of instict?

I think that guys cheat out of instinct, but to the woman they are cheating on, it comes across as selfish. We are many evolutionary stages removed from the animal!  Some of us, that is.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on June 17, 2007, 08:40:44 pm
No, dissatisfaction.

When there's unfulfillment with either gender cheating seems tempting.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 17, 2007, 10:47:00 pm
You know, just typing flirty things is just as exciting when they respond to it the same.
Imagining anything can be fun.

As I stated before, to be with someone besides my wife means that I would have to decide right there and then to end my marriage and move on from there. I do not want to be the reason behind a broken heart and/or soul. I'm stuck and thats it for me.  :)

Fortunately, my wife and I have always been friends and we do enjoy our time together that way.
When I get down to it, everything is pretty good all around. I am tempted from one time to another, but it doesn't start with sex or touching. It's usually someone who stimulates me emotionally, and mentally that I have trouble saying no to. I like knowing a lover for who she really is and like-wise for her to know me the same. This way, love can happen and it's for the right reasons...

Another real turn on for me is confidence and strife.
"If you are it, be it"

One thing I can say on my own behalf is that I'm alot happier now that I'm getting to know myself better.
I'm finally able to say that I can be independant if I had to be. My shoulders are broader and my cross is lighter.
This was all possible as a result of me making the mistakes I have and learning from them instead of repeating them.
This is conditional ofcourse.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 17, 2007, 11:08:18 pm
 :-X I'm not going to say alot on this;

Years ago, I would have sold my soul to the devil to know true love.
After I did, it changed me.

Now in order to live what can't I do?
 ;D


Imagine if this were true...


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on June 18, 2007, 09:04:53 am
With NY such a horrible dating environment.  Thankfully I'll never know temptation now that I got my eHarmony sweetie.  That and she has seen just how pathetic it is up here as well.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on June 18, 2007, 11:15:26 am
Quote
As I stated before, to be with someone besides my wife means that I would have to decide right there and then to end my marriage and move on from there. I do not want to be the reason behind a broken heart and/or soul. I'm stuck and thats it for me. 


Not neccessarily, either you could do it surreptitiously (with the knowledge that it is only a temporary thing), or you could let her know, and do it with her approval.

I'm curious, what is it that attracts you to a woman so much to want to have an affair with her, her looks, intellect, or just the prospect of getting laid?  Some people cheat because they genuinely feel trapped and are looking for love, others are just dogs and will do it with anything.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on June 18, 2007, 11:16:07 am
With NY such a horrible dating environment.  Thankfully I'll never know temptation now that I got my eHarmony sweetie.  That and she has seen just how pathetic it is up here as well.

Did you ever think of moving, Volitzer?


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on June 18, 2007, 03:16:08 pm
Yep.  Right to Florida right by my eHarmony sweetie.   :-*


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 19, 2007, 12:09:33 pm
Florida isn't a bad place to visit. Thing is Volitzer, if you end up down there and things don't work out what are you going to attribute to this failure of compatiblity?

Do you have a plan B if something doesn't work out?
I will never discourage anyone from expanding their horizons sort of speak.
However, I wouldn't make the move until I have had a chance to see what I'm getting into first.
All the way around, I mean. I would hate to see you end up like a friend of mine did, and go all that way for something that your not a 100% sure is even the way it seems. Are you positive she is who she seems to be? If your sure then you better run to her dude. If you have to think twice about it, you might be better off waiting. Just being honest. It seems your sincere about how you feel for her. I hate to see anyone get hurt over empty promices, and fantasies unfulfilled. I'm sure you know where I'm coming from on this though.

And P.S. I'm not attracted to men in no way shape or form...
LOL
I love women, all the way around but not enough to be one.
I like my adams apple!
 ;)

Enough with that metro-sexual stuff as you put it. I'm sure Trent and I are both very content with female interaction as the men we are. Speaking for myself, I'm content with compromise and understanding.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on June 19, 2007, 01:20:14 pm
Yep.  Right to Florida right by my eHarmony sweetie.   :-*

You mean you guys each live in different parts of the country?  How do you know you guys are compatabile unless you see one another on a daily basis?


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on June 19, 2007, 01:23:20 pm
Quote
And P.S. I'm not attracted to men in no way shape or form...
LOL

That's great, HFN, most women would prefer to have guys attracted to them as opposed to each other. At the very least, it's easier to tell where you stand with someone.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on June 19, 2007, 03:02:56 pm
Yep.  Right to Florida right by my eHarmony sweetie.   :-*

You mean you guys each live in different parts of the country?  How do you know you guys are compatabile unless you see one another on a daily basis?

We've been seeing each other off and on for about a year now.

That and we talk on the phone daily.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 20, 2007, 12:34:57 am
Quote
And P.S. I'm not attracted to men in no way shape or form...
LOL

That's great, HFN, most women would prefer to have guys attracted to them as opposed to each other. At the very least, it's easier to tell where you stand with someone.

Well yeah...
It also makes love making alot less complicated too.  ;D
Atleast I don't have to worry about which one of us is going to play the guy.
 ::) Eww...

(playful sarcasm)

I've got one for ya Jean.
Ever hear of the P.L.U.R. among the 60's hippies that is still ongoing today?
Check into it sometime. It's one of those things that I know alot of the people here can relate too.  8) And you don't have to do acid or smoke pot to participate. You just have to be different and expressive.

It's a cool read if you get the chance to look it up.
I don't know you all that well yet, but you come across as a very open minded person.
Just figured I'd run it by you.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 23, 2007, 07:56:30 pm
Here is something I thought was romantic, yet sad.
It was touching to say the least. Based on a true story.  (Author Unknown)

A Long Distant Love Affair
http://www.astorytoshare.com/lovestory.php?id=1087
I still remember her that captured my heart, my first love and high school sweetheart.

Happiness was abundant when we shared and planned our lives together. But eventually she left while I served my
country in Vietnam. It was tragedy to the highest order to lose a first love coupled with war, these side by side experiences brought.

To remedy my heart and mind, I entered into a loveless marriage
that was never harmonious but only for convience, my convience. It lasted for many years surprisingly but it too fell into the depths of hell.

Fate continued to tortured me into other dead-end relatonships where I was convinced I would never find happiness again until one fateful Sunday morning in a news paper ad I seen a
pen-pal ad from overseas women wanting to correspond with American men. What the heck I said, it can't do no harm to play along with them, so I did. I selected a few, found a writing pad and started writing.

A week later letters came streaming in and I found only one that caught my taste and her name was Lilian.

It started out casually, with the usual introduction about family, past relationships and any experiences up to our meeting. But for some reason, our penpal relationship from the start seem to be closer than usual that got even closer with
each succeding letter. In one letter she relates, I have God in my heart that almost got me in becommig a nun after losing my first love to marriage to someone else! But I becames stronger and decided instead to work abroad to get away from him. We had similar love lost but to my surprise, she handled her heart differently by not entering into any more relationships.

Our letters were a routine duty we did for each other and after many months, we were madly in love. The difference however from previous relationships was our love affair was of the heart only. We never met, shared intimate moments, or even a kiss. It was strictly a love affair of the heart.

After more than two years of being a long distant love affair, we finally met, got married and shared our first kiss and first intimate moments together. And though we were physically strangers, our heart and mind were already one. It was not our first love but it felt much better. Many cherish the carnal aspect of a relationship but for us we remained faithful and celibate while we remained apart.

It's been twenty two years now and we are still deeply in love and we can vividly remember our long distant but unique love affair made in Heaven!





Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: unknown on June 23, 2007, 10:57:13 pm
Hi Here for Now


Thank you for sharing that,  it was deeply moving story...


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 23, 2007, 11:29:31 pm
Found on the same website is another the I thought would be like the "her's" version.

 :) Equally beautiful....

 











I couldn't Tell Him I loved Him
My story starts here...... we met on this internet space. I was only browsing when I came upon him. For some reason he stuck out. So as I began to learn more about him I realized how much we had in common. So I gathered enough courage to talk to him. After chatting online and on the phone for many, many, many hours. We decided to meet. I can't tell you the instant attraction I felt for him.

 

The first kiss was the most passionate kiss I had felt in so long. I wanted so desperately to give into it and to him. It took everything I had to walk out that night. But after many more visits and long conversations, I felt myself falling in love with him. Every touch, every kiss made me fall deeper and deeper. He would hold me every night until the sun came up and I felt the time we spent together was never enough.

He would ask me if I loved him. I would always laugh it off, feeling insecure that if I told him I did he would be gone. So I never said it, those words that could make or break my heart. What if I told him and he said nothing, what if I told him and he said he loved me too. What if I told him, gave him my whole heart and then realized I made a mistake. It was too soon.

 

Finally one night I found this hidden confidence to tell him. As I lay in his arms, with my head on his chest, I whispered how I loved him. Then I pulled my body closer to his and closed my eyes. I prayed deeply that he did not hear. I don't believe he did. But I now wonder will I ever have the confidence again to say those words. I guess for now my heart will be torn. But I will continue to feel safe and protected in those arms and loved and caressed with his kiss. If the chance ever comes again. I only pray that I have the courage to face the reaction and that my happily ever after is the result.

 
Nice huh?


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 23, 2007, 11:46:16 pm
I can't say that what she was feeling was really love, but it was no less romantic in thought.
Internet Communication is not one of the ways I've explored romance in the past.
It does add that secret admirer mystique that can be more interesting then meeting someone through friends or face-to-face encounters.

I guess it is the way someone makes you feel is what you remember the most.
No matter how you might be connected to someone, the physical element has nothing to do with love.
It's either their or it isn't. You really can tell that it has a very profound effect on the authors of these stories. They mention only that they are passionately commited to loving the other as they are, "unconditionally"....

In my quest to understand what being in-love is, I have discovered one thing for sure.
Love has no bounderies.   :)


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on June 24, 2007, 01:08:22 am
Hi Herefornow,

You're right, romance and fantasy are what add the most to love, sex without love tends to be just exercise.  You act like you have never been in love before, have you?


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on June 24, 2007, 01:11:33 am
Yep.  Right to Florida right by my eHarmony sweetie.   :-*

You mean you guys each live in different parts of the country?  How do you know you guys are compatabile unless you see one another on a daily basis?

We've been seeing each other off and on for about a year now.

That and we talk on the phone daily.

So how many times have you seen here?  Wow, I notice that you talk a lot about compatability!  You do know that you don't know if you are really compatabile with someone unless you live with them or see them on a day to day basis, right? 


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on June 24, 2007, 01:13:26 am
Quote
I've got one for ya Jean.
Ever hear of the P.L.U.R. among the 60's hippies that is still ongoing today?
Check into it sometime. It's one of those things that I know alot of the people here can relate too.   And you don't have to do acid or smoke pot to participate. You just have to be different and expressive.

It's a cool read if you get the chance to look it up.
I don't know you all that well yet, but you come across as a very open minded person.
Just figured I'd run it by you.

HFN, I have never even heard of P.L.U.R., and I even did a search for it.  Got a link or something on it?


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 24, 2007, 02:39:40 am
Hi Herefornow,

You're right, romance and fantasy are what add the most to love, sex without love tends to be just exercise.  You act like you have never been in love before, have you?

Actually no I haven't been in-love..

 :-\

I'm dying to know what it is though.
P.L.U.R. = Peace, love, unity, and respect...
Or;

The origin of PLUR

The version of it that I steer toward more is:

Peace:
the calmness you find with those around you, and also inside of yourself. it's tough, we often have to work at it but when you're at peace with others, with ourselves and with our planet only good can come of it.
Love:
the caring you feel for friends, for strangers, for those in need and also for caring you show for yourself. it's symbiotic, and it's about sharing whatever energy you put into something will be felt instead of said!
Unity:
this means we all share alot of common things, regardless of our age, gender, race, orientation, whatever! we are all human beings, we all need other people, & we're all in this for the happiness experienced being around others. though we may have differences, we all arise from the same source.
Respect:
this may mean respect for others, their ideas, their music, & their lives. it's also respect for one's self: one's body and the needs that it has (food, sleep). educating yourself on the substances you ingest shows love and respect for your body; passing on the knowledge to others shows respect and love for your fellow person.
http://www.termpaperslab.com/term-papers/69676.html


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on June 24, 2007, 03:54:22 pm
Yep.  Right to Florida right by my eHarmony sweetie.   :-*

You mean you guys each live in different parts of the country?  How do you know you guys are compatabile unless you see one another on a daily basis?

We've been seeing each other off and on for about a year now.

That and we talk on the phone daily.

So how many times have you seen here?  Wow, I notice that you talk a lot about compatability!  You do know that you don't know if you are really compatabile with someone unless you live with them or see them on a day to day basis, right? 

I love her ability to actually work thru problems instead of creating them for a change.

Women here in NYS create so many problems that when they finally do get beaten or killed the guy ends up in counseling.

Once a couple can master that then a relationship is solid.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 24, 2007, 04:46:35 pm
Quote from: Jeannette Latoria on 2007-06-06, 13:25:57
People do grow apart, but, you mean to tell me that you and your wife have never shared any experiences that built a bond between you? Have you ever helped one another through a rough time?  Don't you confide in each other?  When your children were born, didn't that create some kind of bond?

I love My wife Michelle, and I would never say that I don't care about her.
We have been through all the good and bad head on and came out it stronger then what we walked into it.
Thing is, you can love anyone. Thats easy! Being in-love is something you can't make yourself feel if you don't.
I sincerely wish I could but I'm not....

The one I can feel in spirit is not easy to explain either. Yet she is all I can think about.
Maybe, I am in-love and that is to complicated to talk about. She and I will either meet in this life time, or the next one. Either way, I will hold her in my spirit until that day I hold her in my arms.
  :)

Then again, we will be together in spirit always.


And no I didn't read that out of a Hallmark cark either.  :P
(hee hee hee brunette moment' tilts head)

On a serious note Jean, I'm being honest about my feelings. My wife does understand where I stand emotionally too.
She is aware that I have felt this way for a long time now. I sincerely beleive that it probably even changed a little emotionally as well. She wants to be more independant and strong. She really tries to take on some pretty heavy responsibilities to help others, while being a stay-at home mom, keeping appointments and so on...
She told me that she wants to be able to stand on her own if we ever separate. I looked at her and smirked a little bit and then she said, "not saying I want to or anything"...
I didn't say anything, just smiled. Then she asked me why I was smiling. I playfully replied, "Because you have a booger hangin out of your nose"... She didn't but we joke around like that sometimes. We're content with the way things are and she is starting to become more like that girl she was when we met. High energy, sarcastic and comical.

This is not a bad thing, getting worse. It's a bad thing, getting better.  ;)



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on June 27, 2007, 11:00:26 am
HFN,

Once a couple has kids, I think all the romance goes out of a relationship.  It changes into something else altogether, so it would be a bit unrealistic to expect her to still act like she was all the time.

I'm confused, in the last post, you said you loved her, in the one just before that, you said you had never been in love before. 

So what is the story?


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on June 27, 2007, 11:02:22 am
Yep.  Right to Florida right by my eHarmony sweetie.   :-*

You mean you guys each live in different parts of the country?  How do you know you guys are compatabile unless you see one another on a daily basis?

We've been seeing each other off and on for about a year now.

That and we talk on the phone daily.

So how many times have you seen here?  Wow, I notice that you talk a lot about compatability!  You do know that you don't know if you are really compatabile with someone unless you live with them or see them on a day to day basis, right? 

I love her ability to actually work thru problems instead of creating them for a change.

Women here in NYS create so many problems that when they finally do get beaten or killed the guy ends up in counseling.

Once a couple can master that then a relationship is solid.

Wow, so you actually blame women for getting killed by their boyfriends, Volitzer?

I suppose that Dave Hart was perfect in his rights to just kill his wife and kid?

I suppose that everyone has heard about that by now.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on June 27, 2007, 11:45:31 am



So how many times have you seen here?  Wow, I notice that you talk a lot about compatability!  You do know that you don't know if you are really compatabile with someone unless you live with them or see them on a day to day basis, right? 

It is how we manage to work thru situations that arise in our own personal lives.  Around here women want men to be sympathetic to their problems, 90% of which they create, but yet when men have problems women here can't be bothered.

When you work thru a few of life's real problems and accomplish victory together, thats what a true soul-mate is about.  Of course try finding women in NYS that actually work thru problems. :D :D :D


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 27, 2007, 10:57:35 pm
HFN,

Once a couple has kids, I think all the romance goes out of a relationship.  It changes into something else altogether, so it would be a bit unrealistic to expect her to still act like she was all the time.

I'm confused, in the last post, you said you loved her, in the one just before that, you said you had never been in love before. 

So what is the story?
Well for me, being in-love and just loving someone is very different. As I've read from others, being in love is when you can't love someone more then what you do. Yet, just loving someone is the same as being a friend, companion, and partner without being in-love. It's more of an understanding of; Here we are, and we care for one another.
Collectively, we keep the boat-a-float for the sake of everything we've made.
She's even beginning to tolerate me watching my discovery channel.  ;D

Am I cold?  ???

No! I'm just trying to explain my existence in short.
Way earlier on I explained how I have never been in-love before. I never said I didn't love anyone.
I love everybody. To be completely ga-ga over someone? No!
I'm attempting to learn more about that feeling. I need it!

Problem is; How?
Then again, they wouldn't call it research if we knew what we were doing.
 It's complicated and with really no explaination about how it feels.
I just know that I have definitely missed something along that path.
I don't mean to quote Morrison again on this but as this gentalman once said, "You can't expect it to be someone elses responsibility"... With that said, it has to be something about me that I need to find. Falling in-love at that point won't be my center of focas. I will have already found what I was looking for.

Now would you agree with that statement Jean?
 ;D Hmmmm

For the sake of it all, think hard on this if you do reply.
See if that is a more productive point of veiw.
In the end, you still won't know what being in-love is until it has happened.
On that note; If you can't be with the one you love, love the one your with.
I know you and I don't share the same veiws about this Jean. However let's consider this something we can both learn from. You may end up feeling like me some day. I would never wish this on anyone, yet it can happen.
You may even fall out of love with someone you may marry. If god forbid it does, what would you miss the most?

Were you really in-love in the first place?
Until you can answer that, it's something that you had to endure.
If you have already, my prayers are with you.
If you haven't, then hopefully you will be truely in-love and that will always be a part of you.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 29, 2007, 11:02:34 am



So how many times have you seen here?  Wow, I notice that you talk a lot about compatability!  You do know that you don't know if you are really compatabile with someone unless you live with them or see them on a day to day basis, right? 

It is how we manage to work thru situations that arise in our own personal lives.  Around here women want men to be sympathetic to their problems, 90% of which they create, but yet when men have problems women here can't be bothered.

When you work thru a few of life's real problems and accomplish victory together, thats what a true soul-mate is about.  Of course try finding women in NYS that actually work thru problems. :D :D :D

NYS is a Mars based colony, PA is from Venus.....
Problem I run into alot here is the 7 to 1 ratio.
Women in my home town complain all the time that there isn't enough guys to go around.
The men in this city that are singal, love this city. Finding a soul mate is something out of a fairy tale in Erie, because there are too many possible directions to run in, and none of them want you for love. They want you more as a status symbol. The ones who are married are controlling and too distrustful to let their men stray to far because of how many other women are out to find a man. Ecspecially a working man.

In my own point of veiw, I would rather fall head over heals in love with one person and live happily ever after.
I ended up becoming a married man more out of morality then love. Thats why my curiousity about soul mates is so high. Volitzer, I beleive that you probably have had your fair share of hit's and misses. Yet even in a city like this one, love isn't something that comes to you easily. Therefor, it shows that it's not geography that lies at the heart of this problem. It's about your expectations, verses exceptance. Again, I have never been in love and yet I'm around alot more women then any man should be. Yet not one of them want to fall in-love, or ever care about relationships. They want what other women have.

Most of the other married men I know, want to find something real and usually wind up feeling exactly like I do.
Out-of-love, and seeking an answer to their own happily ever after. With not a hope of ever finding it because of status and morality.... These women later then have a habbit of wanting what they can't have more, because they later discovered that the one they had was taken for granted , or became weary of "competing with the Jones"...
The man then no longer wants to be a prize pocession or property. Yet when their men do try to escape, they decide they want nothing more then him and by that time it's too late. My point is; Even in a seemingly target rich location, love is one of the hardest things to experience in a material world of anykind.
 Can't blame it on NYS man.

It's everywhere, and if you are lucky enough to find someone extra special hold on to it.
Love doesn't come easy anywhere you go these days....
 :D Trust me!



Interesting how that works huh?


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: rockessence on June 29, 2007, 11:27:09 am
Heref,

Possibly your idea of what is a soul-mate is rather too narrow.....

A soul-mate, or member of your soul-circle, fulfills a function in your life stream... you may encounter many in one lifetime.  They may help you to open a door or to close a door, or to turn a corner.  You may connect with one for an hour or for a day, or for a long time.  Many times they are there to "help with the dirty work", which may be a spouse with whom you fight, or who you mistreat, or who may mistreat you, but is offering growth through "getting it" or "realization" if you only would get it.   

One who offers years of loyalty is a true soul-mate, though perhaps not a preferred soul-mate.  The loyal one may have served as a parent or sibling or best friend in other lives, but not be a giant sexual or romantic link.   That one may be otherwise occupied in this life and may be unavailable for good reason, at the wrong age or incompatible sex, etc. and going about important soul-business. 

However, the loyal spouse offers a different kind of deep connection which must be mastered to take full benefit of this life.  The patience required to wait for another lifetime to reconnect with a "true love" is all part of the growth required of all humans.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on June 29, 2007, 12:22:28 pm

NYS is a Mars based colony, PA is from Venus.....
Problem I run into alot here is the 7 to 1 ratio.
Women in my home town complain all the time that there isn't enough guys to go around.
The men in this city that are singal, love this city. Finding a soul mate is something out of a fairy tale in Erie, because there are too many possible directions to run in, and none of them want you for love. They want you more as a status symbol. The ones who are married are controlling and too distrustful to let their men stray to far because of how many other women are out to find a man. Ecspecially a working man.

In my own point of veiw, I would rather fall head over heals in love with one person and live happily ever after.
I ended up becoming a married man more out of morality then love. Thats why my curiousity about soul mates is so high. Volitzer, I beleive that you probably have had your fair share of hit's and misses. Yet even in a city like this one, love isn't something that comes to you easily. Therefor, it shows that it's not geography that lies at the heart of this problem. It's about your expectations, verses exceptance. Again, I have never been in love and yet I'm around alot more women then any man should be. Yet not one of them want to fall in-love, or ever care about relationships. They want what other women have.

Most of the other married men I know, want to find something real and usually wind up feeling exactly like I do.
Out-of-love, and seeking an answer to their own happily ever after. With not a hope of ever finding it because of status and morality.... These women later then have a habbit of wanting what they can't have more, because they later discovered that the one they had was taken for granted , or became weary of "competing with the Jones"...
The man then no longer wants to be a prize pocession or property. Yet when their men do try to escape, they decide they want nothing more then him and by that time it's too late. My point is; Even in a seemingly target rich location, love is one of the hardest things to experience in a material world of anykind.
 Can't blame it on NYS man.

It's everywhere, and if you are lucky enough to find someone extra special hold on to it.
Love doesn't come easy anywhere you go these days....
 :D Trust me!



Interesting how that works huh?


Interesting dating climate in Pennsylvania.  In Alaska because it is a military industry state has a 10:1 ratio of men to women.   I guess that's why eHarmony needed to come into existence.  Not only to stablize marriages but to overcome dating corruption due to gender ratio imbalances.  PA, MI, and WI have an abundance of women.  New York has more men than normal women the rest are feminists, cuntras and gold-diggers alike.

Amazing.  I wonder what other dating disparities other states have.  Pennsylvania is just south of us and I never knew there was such an over abundance of women down there.  :)  Now you tell me.   :o  Just kidding,  ;)  I wouldn't trade my eHarmony sweetie for no one.

Of course we have this mutual understanding that if David Duchovny and Lynda Carter made an "indecent proposal", David  to her, Lynda to me,  ;)  that we would both tolerate a one time affair.   :o :-*  ;D


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 29, 2007, 01:09:06 pm
Heref,

Possibly your idea of what is a soul-mate is rather too narrow.....

A soul-mate, or member of your soul-circle, fulfills a function in your life stream... you may encounter many in one lifetime.  They may help you to open a door or to close a door, or to turn a corner.  You may connect with one for an hour or for a day, or for a long time.  Many times they are there to "help with the dirty work", which may be a spouse with whom you fight, or who you mistreat, or who may mistreat you, but is offering growth through "getting it" or "realization" if you only would get it.   

One who offers years of loyalty is a true soul-mate, though perhaps not a preferred soul-mate.  The loyal one may have served as a parent or sibling or best friend in other lives, but not be a giant sexual or romantic link.   That one may be otherwise occupied in this life and may be unavailable for good reason, at the wrong age or incompatible sex, etc. and going about important soul-business. 

However, the loyal spouse offers a different kind of deep connection which must be mastered to take full benefit of this life.  The patience required to wait for another lifetime to reconnect with a "true love" is all part of the growth required of all humans.

Is this where I've landed?
Rockessence, I've been waiting all my life passing my time with strangers and all I have ever wanted to do is simply connect with anyone who wanted a relationship built on love and not survival or whatever reason they wanted me.
To date, it's all been about what they wanted and I have mearly catered to them to be more to them then just a companion. I have never been able to allow myself to love them with all my heart because it has always belonged to something or someone else that didn't have to do with material existence. My wife has been faithful to me and I should take that into consideration in terms of my situation.

I just can't give my heart to her the way she deserves it.

I can see the truth of what your saying Rockessence and maybe in to a point I should be more accepting of this love.
I guess the reason I hold back from giving my heart to her all the way is because I feel like the right one is still out there. I don't want her to get away.  :-\
At the same time, my wife veiws me as her's and her's alone and I don't want to hurt anyone anymore.
Perhaps I feel like a prisnor, and thats why I'm seeking this special something or someone so much.
Maybe if I was free for a short time, I could gain a different perspective.
Maybe it's not a soul-mate I am looking for. Maybe I'm looking for an oppurtunity to do more soul searching.
Which I now see as the point that Morrison made. Either way, my life as it is has not given me enough time to think about what my real problem is because I'm more preoccupied with the priorties at hand. When I do get that chance to actually sit and think, I end up thinking about everything else I might be missing.
I'm in a self-contained catch 22 that creates a cage to enslave the real me. The good I am doing for the sake of those who love me is the very thing that keeps me from knowing what I must do to resolve this problem.
I stay because I'm loved by my wife and to no end. It rips me apart that I can't love my wife the same because she has never given me a reason not to. It also kills me that my kids would suffer as a result of me making any other decision besides staying.

Mean time, I am dying inside and I don't know why....


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on June 29, 2007, 03:48:45 pm
Just explain incompatibility and how compatibility science works and tell her you still want to be there for your kids.

You guys have dimensions 6 & 7 in common.

Just explain it to her that way.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 29, 2007, 07:08:50 pm
Yes, I could probably attempt to explain compatibility.

The outcome, would be her telling me to blow it my butt. Thus she sends me packing.
;D Then again!  hmmmmm LOL
 Just kidding......



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on June 29, 2007, 11:52:27 pm
Yeah some women like to think of themselves as relationship experts until they find out they  know nothing of compatibility science.   :(

She's going to have to come to terms with it or you'll both be in perpetual suffering from  semi-incompatibility.  :'(

Even a marriage counselor would tell you that.  :)


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 30, 2007, 12:30:58 pm
 :)  Things grow, or they fade into nothing. Whatever path all of this leads me into, I must travel.
In the end or beginning, I am prepared for the consequences I must endure. If things are going to progress somewhere in either direction, a sacrafice must be made to ensure it's success.

If I stay married til I'm old and grey, then I must be prepared to except that this is how it's going to be.
If I go eventually, then I must be willing to make that choice on an "all or nothing" basis.

No matter how all of it unfolds, I have to fair. I am not going to play with anyone's emotions or promice something that I don't intend to do. The hard part for me right now is actually deciding what is going to be the most productive decision for my kids. I want to make sure that if I choose to go someday, that my kids will be ok. As for my wife, I know right now is not the time to even think it.
My children are too young to understand everything and I know it is going to be way to hard on her without me to do handle the load. Again, I care for her feelings and I do want her to be happy.
I also worry about how me being gone for 5 days out of a week will effect my kids.
Right now, meaning this day and age. It is not an option either way. I'm needed here for now.

Someday, I will find home and it will be in the heart and mind forever. For now, I am content as things are because I don't know any other way to prevent the harm it may cause others if I don't try.
Besides, Michelle and I aren't fighting constantly or doing spiteful things to each other. She just feels that the changes we need to make in our relationship are all so simple.
I'm seeing the big picture between us and it's impossible to explain to her because she has never felt the way I feel. She doesn't understand the difference between loving someone and being in-love.
I don't even fully understand it, yet you know it when it happens and there really is no way to change it.
 I did try to explain it, and it really bothered her that I felt this way.

After, she just kinda blew it off and really hasn't said much. She just reassures me that she's here for me, and that she loves me. I feel like crap in a way for feeling like I do, but I'm atleast willing to be honest with her in regaurds to how I feel. I am not going to play games or lie to her.

I told her that I do love and care for her, I'm just not in-love.
Strait and to the point. Either we will survive the truth, or we won't.
Atleast I am a friend enough to tell her that this is how I feel. I guess I needed that closure. In turn, I didn't have to be dishonest or deceiving. This is how I feel I can best show her that I do atleast care about her feelings and I do atleast love her enough to share how I really feel.
I did explain to her that I've never been in-love with anyone so that it wasn't so personal.



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on June 30, 2007, 02:31:23 pm
It's nice to see so many friendly faces here and that we got this topic started again.  I hope this is the place we can talk about our relationships, because I would still like to share mine.

When last I talked with everyone, I told everyone that Curt and I were engaged.  We're still engaged, but haven't set a date yet.  I suppose I am feeling a little anxious.

Anyway, there is this guy that started working at the library I work at that just started there a month ago.  He's tall and muscular, and very good looking, he was just my type so naturally I was attracted to him. His name was John.  My boss had me train him when he started, and on his first night, he asked me out for drinks. It was cold out, so I accepted. Anyway, we hit it off, I got a little tipsy, and, the next thing I knew, we wound up in bed together. The sex was intoxicating, and I don't mind saying, a little addictive, too.  He was hard and physical and very forceful, I felt wanted in a way I hadn't for months.  Much as I love Curt, once you have been with someone for as long as we have, there gets to be this sameness about it. He is also rarely around anymore. 

Anyway, once it was over, I knew I did wrong by cheating on Curt, and yet I couldn't help myself, I wanted more, I had to get more.  Curt is working two jobs right now, and we barely see each other.  When we do, he is too tired to do anything fun.  This is terrible, I know, but for the last month, after our shift is over, John and I walk over to his apartment, have sex together before he takes me home. I don't want to do it, but it is this animalistic instinct that  just can't control. He wants me, I like being wanted and how physical he is with me, and I am helpless to stop it from happening.

Oh, I know I am cheating on Curt and I also know that John doesn’t love me, he just wants my body, and yet, I can't control myself. My body aches to have sex with him and I let him do whatever he wants with me. 

John is not a nice person.  He doesn't buy me flowers or want to take me out, he just wants to have sex.  He knows he has me hooked and that I am helpess to resist.  The really odd thing is that now that it has gotten colder out, I want to have sex all the more, because the interaction of the flesh seems to keep me warm. I'm torn between crying because what I'm doing to Curt and being consumed by this insatiable need to keep the sex going.  I tell myself that I am just going through a phase and that I will return to wanting to be with someone who I know honestly respects and loves me, but for now, my sexuality has me under complete control.  I hope that no one thinks too poorly of me of confessing any of this. I'm glad that this is a private forum, so that only those of you I think of as my friends can listen to it. 

What do you do when you are in love with one man, but can't stop yourself from sleeping with another?

Michelle


After reading this, it hit me like an omen.
And no Michelle, I don't think less of you personally. You are in a different situation then mine. Yet one thing we have in common is, we can't resist the temptation others present us with. Our bodies are screaming for more, yet our hearts break because of our own distrust of ourselves. I feel for you Michelle because I know as an already married man, how deep those wounds go. As for the story you told, I see how that could be complicated. Lust is very hard to ignore when the sex is that good. On the other hand, you are being used by this guy.
Even if it does seem like it's ok for now that he is, are you willing to lose Curt over lust?
Or will you end this game to keep him?

Damned if you do, and Damned if you don't, huh? :)

In my case I have to decide between being in-love, or keeping a marriage.
It's a sad path we have both lead, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
It has to be hard to get easier....


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on July 01, 2007, 12:19:06 am
Michelle is being outsmarted by her hormones of oxytocin and vassopressin.

Now John continues to do this it will empower him over her cuz her hormones are creating an addiction.

Curt may not be the best thing for her but a sex addict user isn't much of a beeter leap.

Should have gone to eharmony.  ::)


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on July 01, 2007, 02:12:22 am
 ;D you sound fairly confident that it's all that simple Volitzer.

But; For the sake of good conversation, have you ever been with someone that can make your spine tingle with lust and your toes curl with pleasure? It's not easy to escape that screaming urge to want more once you had it. We've probably all been there atleast once. The ladies will think about it and get that little twitch they get. Us guys will think of it sometimes and have to "Readjust", just to stand up without being to obvious. Problem is, it's usually with someone your never going to be with forever.
 Like certain friends you've known forever and so on. Ever notice that?

It's just so right, and still so wrong.....
 ::)

Ahhh memories...
Anyhow, she will eventually end the affair or she is going to make a mistake and get caught if she doesn't limit John's thingy from doing the thinking for the both of them.
Once upon a time, my wand ruled me and I got busted hard.....
Got no time for them games no more. Can't press the reset button after you lose.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on July 01, 2007, 02:30:47 am
Well while she is wasting her time with John she is missing out on her true soul-mate.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on July 01, 2007, 11:40:29 pm
We have to climb the mountain, one step at a time.
It's how we grow into what we eventually become.
She must make the choice about whats right and wrong.
Until she's ready to do so, she will atleast gain experience. Both good and bad.
Either way, the one that will suffer the most is the one who loved you the most.
Unfortunately, they will tend to always love you even when you can't love yourself.
This is why they cry when you won't. The whole time you were in another bed, the other is sick to their stomach with stress because they know where you are.

The next day everyone plays it off like nothing went on and in turn, it's been "game over", from good-morning? When it really hits ya is when you know they know. Yet you continue to get ready to head out on another selfish quest for really nothing more then an orgasm and more guilt.
It's all something I don't intend on doing ever again to anyone. Thats the choice I had to make at that time.



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on July 02, 2007, 12:18:04 pm
My God you people are in need of some serious help here.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on July 02, 2007, 08:32:59 pm
 :) Yep, but thats what it's all about man.
If we didn't have issues, what would be the point of us posting.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on July 05, 2007, 03:16:11 am
Well, the last thing you need is to get your advice from Volitzer.  If you notice the common theme running through his posts, it's that people need to break down their emotions scientifically.

Hey, I am all for science, but science doesn't play any role in the matters of the human heart, or our feelings. 

(And I don't want to hear any of this nonsense about how eharmony has the answers to everything, it doesn't, it is just out to get your money).

Anyway, I think I just read what Morrison wrote to you, HFN, and I agree with it. I think the bottom line is that people place way too much emphasis on relationships.  Sure, they are nice when they work out, but in the bottom line, that is one hell of a burden to put on one person to make you happy.

Something is missing from your life, but guess what, something is missing from a lot of people's lives.  I don't know anyone who doesn't, at time, have that 'empty' feeling.

It could be a hell of a lot worse.

Maybe it is time to think of what you have got..? Herefornow, there are people in this world who get murdered or have incurable diseases or are homeless, diseased with cancer or living in an old folk's home.  Women get raped in Somalia if they go out and find food, in Sierra Leone, guys have their arms and legs cut off, just cause they live in the same area as diamonds. Aren't you glad you're not living in one of those places or in one of those predicaments?

Don't all our problems seem small by comparison?

If you want something, my advice would be to just be a good person, find some cause that you can make a difference with wherein you help someone, or something, and things will take care of themselves, eventually.  There will always be another girl, finding something to make a difference in this life lasts forever. 


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on July 05, 2007, 08:59:35 am
I realize where your going with all of this Jean, and you are right. Things could be alot worse.
As they are, their is always going to be the question of "what if"....
I'm Here For Now though, and I really do try to make the most of it. I think one of the things I'm going to do is not think about it. Just go with it, and see what happens.

Recently I decided that I need to make a few changes anyways.....
Perhaps those things are much more important. Thank you Jeannette for talking with me. It was fun.

I seems that now, we've run out of gas on this subject though.
 :)

Appearently, no one else is willing to express those things they have done for love.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on July 05, 2007, 11:51:40 pm
Well, the last thing you need is to get your advice from Volitzer.  If you notice the common theme running through his posts, it's that people need to break down their emotions scientifically.

Hey, I am all for science, but science doesn't play any role in the matters of the human heart, or our feelings. 

Yeah 33,000 marriages a year... wotta fraud !!!  ??? ::)

(And I don't want to hear any of this nonsense about how eharmony has the answers to everything, it doesn't, it is just out to get your money).

WOW!!! If you're going to be this ignorant about facts you should get into Conservative Media.   ;D  ;D  ;D

Anyway, I think I just read what Morrison wrote to you, HFN, and I agree with it. I think the bottom line is that people place way too much emphasis on relationships.  Sure, they are nice when they work out, but in the bottom line, that is one hell of a burden to put on one person to make you happy.

  :-X Did somebody say compatibility science!!!  :-X

Something is missing from your life, but guess what, something is missing from a lot of people's lives.  I don't know anyone who doesn't, at time, have that 'empty' feeling.

You're progression of logic leaves "empty feelings".  ;D  ;D  ;D

It could be a hell of a lot worse.

Maybe it is time to think of what you have got..? Herefornow, there are people in this world who get murdered or have incurable diseases or are homeless, diseased with cancer or living in an old folk's home.  Women get raped in Somalia if they go out and find food, in Sierra Leone, guys have their arms and legs cut off, just cause they live in the same area as diamonds. Aren't you glad you're not living in one of those places or in one of those predicaments?

Hope you never get a job on a suicide hotline!!!   :o :o :o

Don't all our problems seem small by comparison?

If you want something, my advice would be to just be a good person, find some cause that you can make a difference with wherein you help someone, or something, and things will take care of themselves, eventually.  There will always be another girl, finding something to make a difference in this life lasts forever. 

  ::) Ahhh yes....... we all know how the road to hell is paved with good intentions.  :(





Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on July 05, 2007, 11:55:18 pm
I realize where your going with all of this Jean, and you are right. Things could be alot worse.
As they are, their is always going to be the question of "what if"....
I'm Here For Now though, and I really do try to make the most of it. I think one of the things I'm going to do is not think about it. Just go with it, and see what happens.

Recently I decided that I need to make a few changes anyways.....
Perhaps those things are much more important. Thank you Jeannette for talking with me. It was fun.

I seems that now, we've run out of gas on this subject though.
 :)

Appearently, no one else is willing to express those things they have done for love.

I did!!!   :D

www.eharmony.com

The journey to happiness begins with a single click...  ;)


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on July 06, 2007, 12:15:56 pm
Ok, now I'm sure!
This guy is working for Eharmony.

 ;D

All joking aside, you are very intelligent and I definitely won't dispute that about you volitzer.
Yet, for the love of God I can't understand what this compatibility science has to do with how true love begins, when their are people who are not compatible with a mate but knows what being in-love with that person is.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on July 06, 2007, 10:19:22 pm
HFN:

I am not as insensitive to your dilema as you may think.

My own brother is incompatible with his wife.  She is absent from the household and the marriage very often.  She has even cheated on him as well.

I try to get him to understand that a compatible loving relationship can be his and that there are women out their who share in his vision.  Unfortunately he still loves his wife despite everything she's done to him and has no plans to divorce her.

He's always like "Well I made a commitment in the eyes of God." and nothing I or anyone else says gets thru to him.

It saddens me to have my own success and to watch him suffer needlessly.

Of course I learned long ago not to waste time with those who won't or are incapeable of loving you back.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on July 06, 2007, 11:32:38 pm
I know you aren't being insensitive Volitzer. We go back a ways in this forum thing.
I don't know man, I just have trouble letting go of people all the way around. It's like being on a sinking ship and staying on it til everyone else is off alive.

Recently, I relized that one of the reasons I have never been in-love with only one person is because I have never given up on loving everyone I've known and cared about. I just have to many people in there to give all my love to. It's never been my nature to hurt anyone until I went through a small crisis awhile back that made me turn my back on the world.

Right now at this point, I have found my calling because God loved me enough to open my heart to him.
Volitzer, you have been awesome through all of this and you atleast showed me compassion and mercy by trying to encourage me to analyze what I have. Even though you know already that I'm not going to E-harmony. LOL

Jean made a very good point to me to that had me thinking that maybe I should do what Jesus told us to do. "BELEIVE"
Because he so loved the world, he give his only son that we might not perish but have ever lasting life.....


That sentence instantly caused me to turn back to God....
It's the only real love I do know and feel throughout me. Through this, I'm able to love all things great and small. This is what I really want. I feel trapped by my own existence only because I didn't lift my heart beyond what I knew. Now I feel so free, and this all came to me when I prayed to be forgiven for all that I've done. Seriously!
I'm returning to the pages of my bible from now on, for my answers about love....


As for your brother, he sounds like a man who is commited himself to God as well.
He's just not content with that yet. He is faithful though, and this will be rewarded regaurdless of how he suffers now. One day he may know peace, and unconditional love.
I now know what I've really needed all along was an answer to my prayer.

I will be devoting my time to my kids and my marriage. I have alot to make up for and I want what I have.
Life is so much easier when you keep it simple. Tell your brother that I will pray for him to know what God is trying to tell him.

I GOT MY WAKE UP CALL....
Amen


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on July 06, 2007, 11:45:04 pm
You could just get a compatibility assessment from eHarmony or a relationship counselor.

I don't think you are 100% incompatible with your wife.  However you 2 may need to resolve your incompatible sticky points.

That is if you want to keep on with this path you're on.   :)


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on July 07, 2007, 12:13:02 am
What finally lead me to this conclusion was an incident last tuesday.
My mom is a Jehovah's witness and she was trying to talking me into going to a meeting with her.
I refused to go over and over again because I don't beleive alot of what they preceive in the bible.

She then asked me, "Then what is it you do beleive?" She then smiled at me and told me to think about it.
The fact I couldn't answer her was when I realized what I've turned my back on.
Later that night I shut the door to the bathroom and felt like I had lost everything that was dear to me.
So, I prayed to God to forgive me, and to accept me as his now humbled servant. I also prayed for understanding enough to love. Last, I prayed for everyone to be forgiven for all there sins.

That is when I suddenly remembered Jesus and why he was sacraficed.
It was bells and whistles going off in my head. I cried a little bit because I knew he answered me right there and then. I felt aweful for not listening to him in the first place.
I knew this was exactly why I've been so misurable. The second thing God did to show me where I needed to begin happened on my way out of my bathroom.

My two sons Matthew and Jacob were both standing there waiting to go in, and Matthew told me that he loved me and he hugged me. Out of the blue, no reason. Jacob just smiled like he always does and walked away saying "Daddy out momma".. I looked into the living room and Michelle was trying to get my Daughters ready to go to Grandmas....
After they all took off to go to my mom's house, everything was quiet. I then prayed again and thanked God for answering me. Right then the fan blew open a paper back book my mom left for my wife.

Funny thing was before I was able to ignore it, I noticed something that was in the book.
Right on the book mark that was in it, was a scipture from out of the bible.
The lords prayer!

Tell me that was all a coincidence, please.
For me it was a miracle, and I'm telling everyone...

Honest and truely, it all happened.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on July 07, 2007, 12:35:43 am
You could just get a compatibility assessment from eHarmony or a relationship counselor.

I don't think you are 100% incompatible with your wife.  However you 2 may need to resolve your incompatible sticky points.

That is if you want to keep on with this path you're on.   :)

Volitzer, I sincerely do man. She really wants this marriage to work, and I know thats she in-love with me.
Probably more so then anyone else ever would have after everything. I was shown that love is all around me and all I have to do is reach out my hand and embrace it. I understand now that this whole time I've allowed negitive energies to flow through me, never considering that it didn't have to be this way. I was ready to walk away from everything because I felt like I ruined it all. My inner being then told me to pray, and you know the rest.

I have never punked out to a challenge before and I am not going to start now.  ;)
I think we all owe Dawn Moline Kudos as well. Her compassion for others was very inspiring and was the basis for this wonderful forum....

All my love Dawn and thank you.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on July 07, 2007, 12:40:41 am
You could just get a compatibility assessment from eHarmony or a relationship counselor.

I don't think you are 100% incompatible with your wife.  However you 2 may need to resolve your incompatible sticky points.

That is if you want to keep on with this path you're on.   :)

Volitzer, I sincerely do man. She really wants this marriage to work, and I know thats she in-love with me.
Probably more so then anyone else ever would have after everything. I was shown that love is all around me and all I have to do is reach out my hand and embrace it.

Cool!!!!!!  8)


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Aristotle on July 10, 2007, 12:12:07 pm
Herefornow asked, "maybe we should cease the conversation as no one else wants to talk about their experiences with love."

I suggest that the rest of us now begin to talk about those experiences, fleeting or not, successful or failures.

I will begin with something that happened to me yesterday. I am a bit older than the college students which post here, although I do live in a university setting and still look young. I do, at times, seem to walk in both worlds - I have the experience of a man who has lived and loved many times, however I still draw attention from those who have not.

I was in the grocery store yesterday, wondering that I hadn't been attracted to anyone for a time and the reasons why.  Had I fallen out of fascination with passion, or had I simply not met any woman lately that struck my interest?

No sooner than I thought that when I saw the most lovely young woman, walking past me in the store - she was short, blonde, dressed in a gray business suit as if she was a young professional.  She had a cute, capricious quality and, on that hot day, seemed unusually fresh. I couldn't help staring at her, and I didso overtly, she was that cute.  She looked back at me, too, then we passed one another.

I was ready to check out and yet I thought it would be fun to get one last glimpse at her before I left the store.  I checked a couple of aisles, she was nowhere to be seen, and I assumed she had left already.  A bit of sadness seized me - another beautiful woman that had crossed my path, yet I would never see again. 

And then, as I paid for my groceries, to my surprise, she came up behind me and stood behind me in line.  Up close, she was every bit as blonde and cute as I thought she was in the store, and young, too.  The word beautiful did not come to mind so much as "adorable."  Women have that quality, you know, where they can sometimes stay half-child. It was as if fate had, this time, offered me a second chance to get her. I looked at her, she smiled at me, as if knowing I liked her, and I smiled back. And then, I paid for my groceries and simply left the floor.

I really get the feeling I could have had her, in the past, I have actually met quite a few women in grocery stores.  But, even though she didn't know it, this girl was young enough to be my daughter, and, sadly enough, I am now at an age where I think of the consequences of my actions as opposed to operating simply on instinct.  Age, it seems, often brings consequences of it's own.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on July 10, 2007, 02:15:47 pm
Some women in their 20s have no idea what they want and will screw every wrong guy in between, the lucky ones won't get pregnant into their 30s and the unlucky ones will have kids.

Fortunately the idea of maintaining their beauty for masculine attention has caught on with the majority of women to where as women are even going to the gym in their 50s.

Now just figure out what you want in a woman, go to eHarmony and be honest with your personality profile there.  The woman I am with now loves Peter Griffin from the FAMILY GUY show.  Which is cool the way I'm always spouting off at the mouth.  ;D  Plus she actually like to work thru problems instead of create them like NY cuntras do.

Go to eHarmony and set the search parameters to the areas by which you live and you'll find a soul-mate in no time.  Go for a minimun of a 3 month membership for best results.

What was cool was when my eHarmony sweetie got to see what NY women were like.  Any insecurities she had were gone after that weekend as far as any "competition" here.  :D

Besides it is great to have intellect, curiosity, ambition, and artistic passion be dating assets again.

I am so tired of women dating users then bitching all the time, before they turn around and date another one.  ::)


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on July 10, 2007, 10:08:05 pm
Aristotle- I know that had to really suck, but it was probably for the better you didn't persue it.
Maturity issues are usually going to arise. How old do you think she was?


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jennie McGrath on July 11, 2007, 12:01:28 am
Quote
And then, as I paid for my groceries, to my surprise, she came up behind me and stood behind me in line.  Up close, she was every bit as blonde and cute as I thought she was in the store, and young, too.


Come to think of it, I ran into this really OLD guy who was leering at me in the greocery store the other day. You don't suppose..?  No, that would be too horrible to contemplate!   ;D


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Aristotle on July 11, 2007, 11:20:30 am
Aristotle- I know that had to really suck, but it was probably for the better you didn't persue it.
Maturity issues are usually going to arise. How old do you think she was?

Probably around 22. I don't exaggerate her appeal, she was, in a word,  "cute," and adorable. Those are the words that most come to mind when I think of her.  Maturity issues do tend to arise when you are with someone that young, and, if you have nothing in common other than the initial attraction, of course, things tend to fade.

There is something to be said for being ruled by simple attraction, though. We were, each of us made, sexual creatures, to fight against that, would be to fight against our nature.  When one gets older, of course, you tend to have more control over your desires, but, make no mistake, the desire, in and of itself, is not evil.  There would be very few people if the ends were only to exercise self-control.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on July 11, 2007, 11:03:43 pm
Flirting is healthy!

I figure it doesn't matter where you get your apitite, as long as you eat at home.
I have managed to ignore my primal lust ,and traded it in for dark chocolate and horror movies. ;D

Now at thirty-six, you hit the pillow and there is no "oh honey?", it's the sound of loud snoring and not being able to find that extra soft spot in your pillow that you love so much.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on July 11, 2007, 11:06:38 pm
LOL I smiled on that one Jennie. Good imaging of possible things that could happen.




Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Aristotle on July 12, 2007, 01:32:58 pm
Some women in their 20s have no idea what they want and will screw every wrong guy in between, the lucky ones won't get pregnant into their 30s and the unlucky ones will have kids.

Fortunately the idea of maintaining their beauty for masculine attention has caught on with the majority of women to where as women are even going to the gym in their 50s.

Now just figure out what you want in a woman, go to eHarmony and be honest with your personality profile there.  The woman I am with now loves Peter Griffin from the FAMILY GUY show.  Which is cool the way I'm always spouting off at the mouth.  ;D  Plus she actually like to work thru problems instead of create them like NY cuntras do.

Go to eHarmony and set the search parameters to the areas by which you live and you'll find a soul-mate in no time.  Go for a minimun of a 3 month membership for best results.

What was cool was when my eHarmony sweetie got to see what NY women were like.  Any insecurities she had were gone after that weekend as far as any "competition" here.  :D

Besides it is great to have intellect, curiosity, ambition, and artistic passion be dating assets again.

I am so tired of women dating users then bitching all the time, before they turn around and date another one.  ::)

Volitzer, I get the feeling that I have a different view of what relations between men and women should be than you.  To begin with, I don't believe that they have to be anything, that there has to be longevity involved, or that successful relationships have to result in marriage.

"Moments" are, for me, at least, enough. I have share many mututally fulfilling experiences with quite a few women, in fact, I have a son with one. Much as I love my son, I know that his mother and I were never right for each other and she knew that, too.

Marriage, to me, or even relationships, are simply the result of a state of mind.  The commitment part of it may be needed for some people, not so needed for others.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on July 12, 2007, 04:29:37 pm
Aris, I understand where your coming from and all. I can relate to it.
The thing I'm curious about is, what about the woman's feelings? They might really want to be with someone on the other level, and the whole time they might not have a clue about your intentions.
Are you atleast honest with them about your feelings on this? I mean if they do understand what you want and they can accept that then awesome. Now if you lead them on into thinking that it might lead to more, and then you turn around and rip their heart out. That's not right!

I explained to my wife fairly recently that I wasn't in-love with her, but I want to keep my marriage together for the kids and her security. It hurt her to hear me finally tell her this, but again she was releaved to know the truth. Instantly, our friendship went to an all time high and so did the respect. We can actually talk about anything.
Now we are friends with all the benefits of a marriage without the emotional obligation. She seems comfortable with the idea that I atleast love, and care enough to not just up and leave her.

As for being with someone else, I just fantasize about being with the other when I feel alone. And beleive me if you knew her like I do, you would understand why I feel so lost.
Persuing this seems to be way to difficult so I have to accept that I might never have the chance to hold her like I ache too. Had I held off being married, I could have had that chance to experience a love others dream about. Now, the only thing I can do is love the one I'm with. I'll also spend my days trying to find other forms of love to fill that empty void I've created.
 
Now I'm going to give it to God to decide for me.



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on July 14, 2007, 04:26:07 pm
HFN,

You asked,

"Well, what about the woman's feelings?"

Well, no one likes being dumped, but if you want to soften someone's hard feelings, the key is to let her be the one to do the dumping. 

Yeah, I guess you may have gotten married too early, but it can't have been all bad, can it?  Sounds like you have some wonderful kids together and there must have been some good times.  The grass isn't always greener on the other side! 


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: unknown on July 14, 2007, 07:58:22 pm
"It is better to have loved and lost... then never to have loved at all"

I think Shakespeare said that, but in any event from my perspective no truer words were ever written.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on July 15, 2007, 04:26:48 pm
So anyone wanna take a crack at it?

What is the origions of love?  ;)


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on July 15, 2007, 04:28:19 pm
"It is better to have loved and lost... then never to have loved at all"

I think Shakespeare said that, but in any event from my perspective no truer words were ever written.

Better to love everything, when you don't feel like hating it......


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Aristotle on July 16, 2007, 03:33:01 pm
Herefornow, you asked,

Aris, I understand where your coming from and all. I can relate to it.
The thing I'm curious about is, what about the woman's feelings?


The answer to that would be that most women in their early 20s (that I have met anyway) aren't ready to settle down, they are simply into it for the experience, especially college age women. Women who get involved in flings at that age tend to see it as such and are simply "curious."

As for what the origins of love are, I, for one believe in evolution. As our need to reproduce developed, so did our emotions, and our articulation in expressing them.  Love then, it seems, is our animal need to reproduce with one another, refined.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: unknown on July 16, 2007, 06:16:14 pm
HFN

A Crack at the Origins of Love


You must forgive me... but it seems that I never get philosophical or try to be poingnant, unless I have had one to many... lol

Anyways, the guestion is not what is the origin of love... because love is the origin of all.

You see it is very complex... but it can be understood very simply... it is the attraction of opposites that brings order out of chaos... it is eros... the desire to bond... it is the primal force of creation. There is a simple equation that explains it all... positive and negative meet... charge and discharge...

If we look at it... everything has its origins in microscopic... atomic bonding leads to more complex elements... more complex elements lead to organic substances... organic substances lead to life... which with starts, stops and the occasional set backs, leads to higher organisms... which leads to awareness... awareness leads to civilization, and here we are.

I would just like to reflect on our civilization for a moment, and perhaps, I could get my fellow forum members to reflect on something with me... we are in a unique time in known history, for the first time women are not subject to men (in most western societies, anyways).  Really, it is no wonder men and women have such a hard time with relationships because the rules of centuries... perhaps even millenia have been upset... A man still feels the need to be a man... yet he does not have the authority of his father's generation... A woman, still wants to be a woman... yet also wants more for herself, other than just being a wife and a mother.


Why do some of us still believe in a God of love... because we understand that love is the most worthy and noble thing in creation.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on July 17, 2007, 10:59:43 am
Now, that is alot of what I beleive too, Unknown....
I'm glad I'm not alone on that.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Michelle Sandberg on July 25, 2007, 01:12:53 pm
It's nice to see so many friendly faces here and that we got this topic started again.  I hope this is the place we can talk about our relationships, because I would still like to share mine.

When last I talked with everyone, I told everyone that Curt and I were engaged.  We're still engaged, but haven't set a date yet.  I suppose I am feeling a little anxious.

Anyway, there is this guy that started working at the library I work at that just started there a month ago.  He's tall and muscular, and very good looking, he was just my type so naturally I was attracted to him. His name was John.  My boss had me train him when he started, and on his first night, he asked me out for drinks. It was cold out, so I accepted. Anyway, we hit it off, I got a little tipsy, and, the next thing I knew, we wound up in bed together. The sex was intoxicating, and I don't mind saying, a little addictive, too.  He was hard and physical and very forceful, I felt wanted in a way I hadn't for months.  Much as I love Curt, once you have been with someone for as long as we have, there gets to be this sameness about it. He is also rarely around anymore. 

Anyway, once it was over, I knew I did wrong by cheating on Curt, and yet I couldn't help myself, I wanted more, I had to get more.  Curt is working two jobs right now, and we barely see each other.  When we do, he is too tired to do anything fun.  This is terrible, I know, but for the last month, after our shift is over, John and I walk over to his apartment, have sex together before he takes me home. I don't want to do it, but it is this animalistic instinct that  just can't control. He wants me, I like being wanted and how physical he is with me, and I am helpless to stop it from happening.

Oh, I know I am cheating on Curt and I also know that John doesn’t love me, he just wants my body, and yet, I can't control myself. My body aches to have sex with him and I let him do whatever he wants with me. 

John is not a nice person.  He doesn't buy me flowers or want to take me out, he just wants to have sex.  He knows he has me hooked and that I am helpess to resist.  The really odd thing is that now that it has gotten colder out, I want to have sex all the more, because the interaction of the flesh seems to keep me warm. I'm torn between crying because what I'm doing to Curt and being consumed by this insatiable need to keep the sex going.  I tell myself that I am just going through a phase and that I will return to wanting to be with someone who I know honestly respects and loves me, but for now, my sexuality has me under complete control.  I hope that no one thinks too poorly of me of confessing any of this. I'm glad that this is a private forum, so that only those of you I think of as my friends can listen to it. 

What do you do when you are in love with one man, but can't stop yourself from sleeping with another?

Michelle


After reading this, it hit me like an omen.
And no Michelle, I don't think less of you personally. You are in a different situation then mine. Yet one thing we have in common is, we can't resist the temptation others present us with. Our bodies are screaming for more, yet our hearts break because of our own distrust of ourselves. I feel for you Michelle because I know as an already married man, how deep those wounds go. As for the story you told, I see how that could be complicated. Lust is very hard to ignore when the sex is that good. On the other hand, you are being used by this guy.
Even if it does seem like it's ok for now that he is, are you willing to lose Curt over lust?
Or will you end this game to keep him?

Damned if you do, and Damned if you don't, huh? :)

In my case I have to decide between being in-love, or keeping a marriage.
It's a sad path we have both lead, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
It has to be hard to get easier....

Hi HFN,

A couple of months ago, I may have had a different answer to this (the affair ended), but when summer started, it started all over again.  Sometimes, I feel horrible about it, too.  I have always loved Curt, but something about me is also a slave to certain desires.  I guess the only sane thing is to keep living your life and see what happens.

Michelle


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: rockessence on July 25, 2007, 01:41:25 pm
Michelle,
This is a classic example of entity possession.  You ultimately have to decide who is going to live your life: Michelle who has the GOD-given right to posess her own life stream, or an entity of unknown origin who's whole point and thrust of being is to achieve sexual gratification....

Your call. 


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Michelle Sandberg on July 25, 2007, 03:15:11 pm
Hi Rockessence,

Not certain I would class it as an entity, but rather a craving. Everyone has them, right? I keep telling myself that it's just a phase, but, when it's at it's best, it is a delirium sort of like the best chocolate.  Not really certain I can describe it to people who have never been there, too.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on July 25, 2007, 03:26:33 pm
Marriage, to me, or even relationships, are simply the result of a state of mind.  The commitment part of it may be needed for some people, not so needed for others.

Sounds like liberalism to me there, Aristotle.  Commitment is definately needed once kids are brought into the equation.

Even if no kids are present then having someone there to care for you when you are ill is definately a plus.  Users forget this part.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on July 25, 2007, 03:28:53 pm
So anyone wanna take a crack at it?

What is the origins of love?  ;)

It's a chemical response between 2 people that if it grows into unconditional love can sustain a lifetime.

29 Dimenions of compatibility is the nuts and bolts as to how it's done.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on July 25, 2007, 03:30:18 pm
Hi Rockessence,

Not certain I would class it as an entity, but rather a craving. Everyone has them, right? I keep telling myself that it's just a phase, but, when it's at it's best, it is a delirium sort of like the best chocolate.  Not really certain I can describe it to people who have never been there, too.

Now if Curt has such a craving will you be as forgiving and what happens when you loose out??


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on July 25, 2007, 06:34:38 pm
Hi HFN,

A couple of months ago, I may have had a different answer to this (the affair ended), but when summer started, it started all over again.  Sometimes, I feel horrible about it, too.  I have always loved Curt, but something about me is also a slave to certain desires.  I guess the only sane thing is to keep living your life and see what happens.

Michelle



I know it's difficult Michelle. One warms your heart and the other makes your toes curl.
I was in almost the same situation with the exception of being married. My wife Michelle give me her soul, as well as my 5 kids. The other gave me the feeling of being human, and sanity. Both were in-love with me, and I ended up hurting the both of them very badly. The guilt is still there. Thankfully they both found it in their hearts to forgive me. The truth that I had to face after, was my punishment. I realized then at that moment that I was never in-love with anyone before. :o It's been my curse ever since.........

Are you in-love? Only you know that.
It was something that I had to discover and found out the hard way.
There are still moments that I can't discuss here, that I can't regret.
However, I'm trying not to reflect on what I liked about all of it.
I need to focas on my priorities, which involves my children having a mommy, and daddy at home.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Michelle Sandberg on July 26, 2007, 01:58:49 am
Hi Rockessence,

Not certain I would class it as an entity, but rather a craving. Everyone has them, right? I keep telling myself that it's just a phase, but, when it's at it's best, it is a delirium sort of like the best chocolate.  Not really certain I can describe it to people who have never been there, too.

Now if Curt has such a craving will you be as forgiving and what happens when you loose out??

Actually, I think I would be. There was a time when I was jealous of him with other women, but now we have been through so much together that I feel we will always be together.  It's deeper than love, if that makes any sense.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Michelle Sandberg on July 26, 2007, 02:12:45 am
Hi HFN,

A couple of months ago, I may have had a different answer to this (the affair ended), but when summer started, it started all over again.  Sometimes, I feel horrible about it, too.  I have always loved Curt, but something about me is also a slave to certain desires.  I guess the only sane thing is to keep living your life and see what happens.

Michelle



I know it's difficult Michelle. One warms your heart and the other makes your toes curl.
I was in almost the same situation with the exception of being married. My wife Michelle give me her soul, as well as my 5 kids. The other gave me the feeling of being human, and sanity. Both were in-love with me, and I ended up hurting the both of them very badly. The guilt is still there. Thankfully they both found it in their hearts to forgive me. The truth that I had to face after, was my punishment. I realized then at that moment that I was never in-love with anyone before. :o It's been my curse ever since.........

Are you in-love? Only you know that.
It was something that I had to discover and found out the hard way.
There are still moments that I can't discuss here, that I can't regret.
However, I'm trying not to reflect on what I liked about all of it.
I need to focas on my priorities, which involves my children having a mommy, and daddy at home.

Yeah, I am am in love and I know that Curt loves me.  It's difficult to describe, but for some reason, neither of us get all we eed from each other. Communication can be lacking, and, if you have been with someone for any length of time, you know that ah, relations, can get a little run of the mill.  So, I go to the other guy to get that same thrill.  He's really crazy for me, and I can't help it, I like how it feels when it happens. 


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Pagan on July 26, 2007, 02:21:45 am
I know what your problem is, Michelle! 


YOU'RE A TRAMP!!!!


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on July 26, 2007, 02:34:41 am
I don't know what to say but whatever the result of your mutual decisions I hope it is something you both can live with.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on July 26, 2007, 11:21:27 am
Lust can be confusing, and if you have to think twice about anything you might do it's probably better to try something else.  :)



Here is a song that reminds me.
http://www.blogmusik.net/?urlIdSong=127844

And Michelle the words to this might be a little more situation, however you'll see what I'm driving toward.
Have a listen and tell me what you think.  :D
While your at it, this is a great song to clean the house too.
LOL


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on July 28, 2007, 11:51:18 pm
Yikes!

I like my relationship most of the time. Today I had a major fight with my wife though that could have lead to me leaving, if it wasn't for my ability to understand. She is having an affair!  :)
Imagine that....

I couldn't beleive it when I heard it from a good friend of mine that she was seen with one of my good friends, kissing him. I deserved it, and I'm not really mad about it any more. However, I am not going to over-look the fact that I'm still obligated to keeping this family together. As I told her; "You can do what you want with who you want too. Just promice me now that the kids will not suffer for our problems"...

She promiced me that they won't. As for her and I, she wants me to stay.
I told her that it's going to be either way for me. She wanted to know what that meant, and I explained it clearly after.

It's what I was hoping for! Not because I want a reason to leave, but more so because of what it means.
She's finally coming out of her shell and testing the waters to see if I'm what she really wants.
In a way, I'm happy that she is finally becoming more independant and bold. In some ways, I wish she would have told me the truth when I first confronted her about what I was told. She wasn't going to tell me until the person who told me was standing with me. The truth then flowed like rain. In a way, I was hurt, and releived at the same time. It sounds weird, but to an extreme extent I have no other feelings about it. I guess in a way, it didn't bother me as much as it should have. I forgave it, and even had her lover over for coffee this after-noon. I even told the both of them that if they wanted to continue with their relationship that I was ok with it. They both looked at me in disbeleif which was funny.
She asked me if I atleast loved her still, and I said yes. She smiled and called me crazy.
I love a strong woman......
Now what makes this all the worse is, the person who told me about them was my wife's lover's girl-friend.
We all had a nice talk about this while she sat with me, and my wife sat with him. It was like Saturday night game of spaids. After the whole conversation was over, we all had a laugh about the situation.
In fact they all left about 3 hours ago and my wife and I then dropped it. Now is that crazy or what?

This year is definitely one of the most interesting years I've spent in a really long time. LOL
I have no idea where all of this is going to end, but atleast it's not the same old thing over and over anymore. Finally something exciting to look forward too....

The best part was when Rob and Michelle hugged, and me and Rob's girl-friend Amy hugged and she blew in my ear.
 ;) She smiled then walked out to the drive-way. I shook my head, and laughed a little about it and left it at that.
It's too much fun, when things like this happen. I'm still not going to consider the option of swinging though.
I want someone altogether different, and even though it might never happen. I'm still going to wait awhile longer just in case.

Now honestly, how many of you out there would have done the same?
I'm thinking the ones it hurt the worst out of it all was Amy, and Michelle.....
As for me and Rob, well let's just say it's all good.

Amy and I have a history that goes back to fifth grade. And somehow, I don't think that this is quite over yet.
Then again, my feelings on this are as explained. I'm ok with whatever happens, and that's what bothers Michelle.
She knows that I can take it or leave it with no problem. I don't think she can though....
hmmmm

Makes me wonder how this will effect tomarrow. Man, I can't wait.  :D
In a twisted situation, the best thing you can do sometimes is nothing at all.
Let it play out as it is meant to and just deal with one thing at a time.
In the end, as always I'm going to come out of it smiling either way. I know this and so does the other three involved in it. This bothers all of them, because they don't understand it all like I do. I'm the only one in this situation that was immuned to the effects long before any of it even happened. For once, I'm thankful for being who I am.




Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Matt on July 29, 2007, 01:03:59 am
Wow, you sure have my sympathies, Herefornow.  I would be super pissed if I found out my girlfriend was cheating on me.  Still, I can see your point.  If you are interested in cheating on her, it would be a bit hypocritical to get mad at her for the same thing.  Hang in there, brother.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on July 29, 2007, 02:05:54 am
Herefornow, she probably just did it to get back at you.  After hearing the story, I'm not sure that I buy that you don't love her.  Why would you be upset at her cheating if you weren't?  I think that you guys should try to work out your differences before either one of you taking a next step, but that's because you two have kids.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on July 29, 2007, 02:11:57 am

Yeah, I am am in love and I know that Curt loves me.  It's difficult to describe, but for some reason, neither of us get all we eed from each other. Communication can be lacking, and, if you have been with someone for any length of time, you know that ah, relations, can get a little run of the mill.  So, I go to the other guy to get that same thrill.  He's really crazy for me, and I can't help it, I like how it feels when it happens. 

Without getting too deeply into your business, Michelle, I have to say I think it's a mistake for people to be too controlled by their urges.  We aren't animals, we are thinking, feeling creatures, each of us capable of making our own RATIONAL decisions. Sex, once it's over, doesn't add up to a whole lot and it's a mistake to let it rule (and ruin) your life.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on July 29, 2007, 02:19:31 am
Thanks man! I was super pissed but then at the same time Rob was scared out of his mind and Michelle knew she was busted so there wasn't much more to accomplish.

After Amy and I listened to the both of them apologize like 50 times, we were both ok with what happened sort of. I was compassionate to them because of what I've done in the past and I really do feel that it was a little over-due that I got what was coming to me. Rob and Amy might not be so forgiving of each other though. I'm going to have to call her tomarrow to see if she's going to be ok.

It was cool of Amy to look out for me like that. She actually waited to confront Michelle until she knew Rob was coming over, and boom! Out came the truth....
After it was all over with though, I think my wife is a little more at ease then Rob.
Remains to be seen...

Anyhow, thanks again Matt...
And for those of you that think I'm going to mess around with Amy, don't be to hasty.
I'm not going to stoop that low this time unless they pursue a relationship. (meaning Michelle and Rob)

If anything, Amy and I already know where we stand and we know that neither of them what us doing anything.....
It will give them something to think about.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on July 29, 2007, 02:27:41 am
Herefornow, she probably just did it to get back at you.  After hearing the story, I'm not sure that I buy that you don't love her.  Why would you be upset at her cheating if you weren't?  I think that you guys should try to work out your differences before either one of you taking a next step, but that's because you two have kids.

Like I've said before Jean, loving her was never a question. I do care for her and respect her as the mother of my children. As for being in-love, that is something I know I'm not. If I was, I would have never had an affair in the first place for one.

Second, I would have probably been in jail tonight for beating Rob to a bloody pulp.....(even though, never mind)
Lastly, I would never have questioned my own feelings in the first place before the affair of mine with Charity.

Love in this City is more like a soap opera with no plot. LOL


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on July 29, 2007, 03:12:32 am
Well, a lot of people get cheated on Herefornow.  If it makes you feel any better, I don't think she did it cause she really liked the guy, but because she wanted to get attention and to get back at you.  People are only human. At least, you were rational enough to keep things in persepctive.  A lot of people aren't.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on July 29, 2007, 11:12:10 am
Well at thirty-six, I can honestly say I've lived alot. One thing you commonly run into is people who don't understand cause and effect. My wife explained that Rob made her feel sexy and desirable.
I relized that the lack of attention I've shown was the reason she felt that way.
To be honest, I couldn't be mad at her for that. To begin with when I did get upset, I guess it was more that it bruised my ego more then anything. Because I'm mature enough to understand her reasoning, I blew it off. Besides, Rob and her have alays been friends. Atleast she went to someone she knows.....

As I told her, it's up to you about what you want from now on. All you have to do is be honest with me and I will respect your decision no matter what. I showed that in the way I handled it.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on August 05, 2007, 12:18:33 am
Things going any better for you two?


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on August 05, 2007, 05:12:05 pm
Actually, yes...

Things have been mellow and civil. Amy has been around alot too. Hmmmm
Anyhow, I've been on the strait and narrow.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on August 07, 2007, 01:19:30 pm
Maybe engage her in a threesome?  :P

Just kidding!


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on August 08, 2007, 12:09:54 am
LOL Already thought it but......
I don't think Michelle will go go for it.

I'm diggin the thought process though.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on August 27, 2007, 03:09:43 pm
Cool avatar:

(http://atlantisonline.smfforfree2.com/cavatars/atlantisonline/avatar_132.png)

A little grim to be you, though, isn't it?  You strike me as such a happy guy.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on August 27, 2007, 03:10:03 pm
Usually, anyway! 


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on August 27, 2007, 08:39:40 pm
There! Besides I like my angel of death photo better too.  :)


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on September 11, 2007, 01:25:04 am
So how is your marriage going, any better than last time we talked?


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on September 11, 2007, 03:40:44 pm
Actuall, yes! We have an understanding about our differences and we talk about them more.
Thank you asking.  :)  Very Cool.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on September 12, 2007, 12:16:24 am
If you don't mind my asking, 'understanding,' as in meaning you are going to be more honest with one another, or more faithful to one another..?


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on September 12, 2007, 03:00:30 pm
LOL I don't mind you asking. The answer is both.(http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/characters/character0029.gif)


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on September 20, 2007, 09:04:38 pm
To love is to not hate. It weakens and cosumes like a fire from within. Slowly it changes our very soul to a blank empty center of envy, and sorrow.
It can ultimately decide your fate for you, because we all know from experience that it never brought anything good. It came from man's first understanding of rage brought about by envy, and/or greed.

Only a thought, but for me it seems to be the only way it could have been apart of our ascent into time and change.
 


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on October 13, 2007, 02:25:23 am
To love actually makes you a part of something.

People spend a lot of time being alone. You're born alone, deal with your problems alone, pretty much are alone. 

When you find someone you are on the same wavelength with, then start a family with someone, it gives you a feeling of community.  Despite all the romantic overtures and the passion, when it comes down to it, people fall in love for the basic reason that they don't want to be alone.  Maybe that is why so many people are reluctant to throw their marriages away, even if it isn't all it could be..? They just don't like being alone.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on October 13, 2007, 12:50:23 pm
To love actually makes you a part of something.

People spend a lot of time being alone. You're born alone, deal with your problems alone, pretty much are alone. 

When you find someone you are on the same wavelength with, then start a family with someone, it gives you a feeling of community.  Despite all the romantic overtures and the passion, when it comes down to it, people fall in love for the basic reason that they don't want to be alone.  Maybe that is why so many people are reluctant to throw their marriages away, even if it isn't all it could be..? They just don't like being alone.

In my case, it's about commitment......
As a parent, more then anything else.
I grew up in a single parent home and it wasn't easy for my mother to raise the 3 of us.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on December 12, 2007, 02:51:52 am
To love actually makes you a part of something.

People spend a lot of time being alone. You're born alone, deal with your problems alone, pretty much are alone. 

When you find someone you are on the same wavelength with, then start a family with someone, it gives you a feeling of community.  Despite all the romantic overtures and the passion, when it comes down to it, people fall in love for the basic reason that they don't want to be alone.  Maybe that is why so many people are reluctant to throw their marriages away, even if it isn't all it could be..? They just don't like being alone.

Yeah despite the hurt I have gotten from the incompatible loons at eHarmony I still kept going back.

It's like the ol Veruca Salt song goes "Lonliness is worse."   :-X


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on December 13, 2007, 02:59:28 am
So Jeannette...

What's new with you on the dating front ?


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on December 14, 2007, 02:06:44 am
Interesting you should bring that up! I am thinking of dumping my boyfriend. Lately, he has been getting pretty jealous and flying into these rages, for practically no reason!  Guys are just as emotional as women, they just don't like to admit it.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jeannette Latoria on December 14, 2007, 02:07:26 am
Your turn, Volitzer!


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on December 15, 2007, 02:24:25 am
I am planning on moving down to Florida to be with my eHarmony sweetie.

If we can get the Illuminati out of the economy then next year my sweetie and I plan on opening up an aerodynamics business together.

Sorry to hear you've been having it so rough.  :(


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jennifer O'Dell on December 22, 2007, 01:19:08 am
What city are you moving to in Florida, Volitzer?


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on December 23, 2007, 01:19:04 am
Jacksonville.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Dania Curtis on December 25, 2007, 01:22:39 am
I can only imagine opening a business in this economy!  Next year, we are supposed to head into a recession.  Bush has been a complete failure when it comes to economics, he still believes in the policies of Calvin Coolidge, which led to the Great Depression!

Even his mortgage plan sucks - it is designed more to help the banks than to help consumers. 


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on December 26, 2007, 04:23:40 pm
I know I am going to have to wait a year until Bush gets out of office and until Ron Paul gets elected before doing anything.

Thankfully the Neocon propaganda machine is in a downward spiral.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on December 26, 2007, 04:25:44 pm
I can only imagine opening a business in this economy!  Next year, we are supposed to head into a recession.  Bush has been a complete failure when it comes to economics, he still believes in the policies of Calvin Coolidge, which led to the Great Depression!

Even his mortgage plan sucks - it is designed more to help the banks than to help consumers. 

It's all an Illuminati plan to bring America to its knees financially, the neocons are going to pull some pretty desperate $#!t next year to keep the NAU agenda going.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on December 26, 2007, 04:38:39 pm
Hi Dania Curtis and welcome....

Whats your take on how humans developed the ability to love?


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Dania Curtis on December 27, 2007, 04:00:56 am
Thanks for asking!  I think that, as people grew more evolved, our emotions became more evolved, too.  Who knows when the first two people actually fell in love?  But the instinnct grew within us with each generation.  It is sort of like the feeling that pets develop towards human beings.  Something within dogs and cats is instinctive and knows it can trust people, that was born from generation after generation of being domesticated.

So, in other words, we "learned" love just like we evolved from the primates.  I'm sure that primates love one another, too, and that's kind of sweet when you think of it. 


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Dania Curtis on December 27, 2007, 04:02:39 am
I can only imagine opening a business in this economy!  Next year, we are supposed to head into a recession.  Bush has been a complete failure when it comes to economics, he still believes in the policies of Calvin Coolidge, which led to the Great Depression!

Even his mortgage plan sucks - it is designed more to help the banks than to help consumers. 

It's all an Illuminati plan to bring America to its knees financially, the neocons are going to pull some pretty desperate $#!t next year to keep the NAU agenda going.

They are, in fact, I wouldn't be surprised if they planned the recession and the financial woes of average Americans in order to distract them from keeping an eye on their stealing! 


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Dania Curtis on December 27, 2007, 04:05:44 am
I know I am going to have to wait a year until Bush gets out of office and until Ron Paul gets elected before doing anything.

Thankfully the Neocon propaganda machine is in a downward spiral.

It's on a downward spiral, but you'll notice that the mainstream media still isn't as hard on him as they should be!  And you'll also notice that they make a point to ignore anyone running for Prez who they don't agree with.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on December 27, 2007, 01:14:43 pm
Mainstream media is owned by 4-5 media corporate giants whom are in cahoots with the neocons.  It's all about the corporatocracy and their Illuminati masters.

They want to make sure that their candidates get s'elected'.   That's why Bush and Hillary won't get any serious criticism cuz the Illuminati want them to further their agenda.

The internet and alternative media however.  Will be their undoing.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on December 27, 2007, 06:21:59 pm
I kinda beleive the same thing in way too Dania. I think when we humans are put through the trials of life, that the companionship and comfort of others is how we learned to love. It took extreme things to happen to bring our ancestors together and relize that they would only survive by coming together. Now that we are more understanding of our world then before, it seems that we can still learn from our ancient relatives. You see, even though we might have a greater understanding of things. Our foresight of our own actions is clouded by the very things we sow. I hope that one day we can live in a world without borders or differences and come together in these troubled time and learn to love one another as brothers and sisters, vs. them & I.........


Interesting responce though......
The future of love is still another debate. Yet the origions of love will always be a mystery, unless we can be honest about why we fall in-love now.

Think about it!  ;)


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on December 27, 2007, 06:25:45 pm
Volitzer, How soon you planning to move man?

Before you go, would you PM me some pictures of a typical urban neighborhood in the big apple?
I can't handle big city life myself, but I have always felt something enticing about NY city. I've always been more of a country boy and would never trade my private, keep to myself hole of a town. Yet NY calls to me......
It could be the night life, or the pretty lights. It might just be the atmosphere as a whole. Either way, I can't help be curious about it.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on December 30, 2007, 09:24:28 pm
Does anyone here have any of those cherished moments of falling into lust or head over heals in-love?

I love sharing these stories. Ecspecially when they are tasteful, yet true.
I have lots of those moments I could share, but I want to see who else is bold enough to just blurt it out.
Things about our personal lives don't have to involve names. Just events....   ::)

Come on folks, don't be shy and hold back. I don't!
 ;D Ladies ecspecially, give us the dirt you think us guys can't handle hearing.
I've heard it all so it won't surprise me in the least for sure.

It's research about what causes love now and what ancients acts like a good old **** would cause even kings to make critically wrong judgements because of jelousy or seduction.
Ladies, what pisses you off about a guys role in love?
What do you really, really like about him?
Why does he suck in bed if thats a problem.
Lay it down!


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on December 31, 2007, 02:41:47 pm
Volitzer, How soon you planning to move man?

Before you go, would you PM me some pictures of a typical urban neighborhood in the big apple?
I can't handle big city life myself, but I have always felt something enticing about NY city. I've always been more of a country boy and would never trade my private, keep to myself hole of a town. Yet NY calls to me......
It could be the night life, or the pretty lights. It might just be the atmosphere as a whole. Either way, I can't help be curious about it.


I originally came from the Syracuse New York area.  It, geographically, is more central New York and no where near Long Island or NYC.

NYC is a great place to vacation if you can afford it but to live there is to watch a police state literally being ushered in.  Especially with that Bloomberg mayor usurping the 1st and 2nd Amendments at every turn.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on December 31, 2007, 02:45:05 pm
Does anyone here have any of those cherished moments of falling into lust or head over heals in-love?

I love sharing these stories. Ecspecially when they are tasteful, yet true.
I have lots of those moments I could share, but I want to see who else is bold enough to just blurt it out.
Things about our personal lives don't have to involve names. Just events....   ::)


I am in Florida now and the story is yet unfolding...  ;)  I am finally with my eHarmony sweetie.   :-*


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Bianca on January 01, 2008, 09:08:01 am



                           M O D E R N   R O M E O   A N D  J U L I E T




A couple from rival sects in one of Iraq's most dangerous neighborhoods marry after 6 years. »


Here's the Video from Yahoo:

http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/?rn=3906861&cl=5750506&ch=4226714&src=news


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: rockessence on January 01, 2008, 01:20:09 pm
B.

I couldn't get the link to work, but found this one:

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=4b6_1199199683&c=1


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Bianca on January 01, 2008, 01:53:24 pm




Sorry about the link, Rocky!

I am so glad you found one that worked.  Thank you.

It does the heart good to hear even this little bit of happiness coming out of Iraq!!!

Light and Love to them and their families.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Deanna Witmer on January 04, 2008, 12:07:32 am
Quote
Ladies, what pisses you off about a guys role in love?

My complaint is:  guys rush too much!  Sex (when done right) is a special experience.  Best to let the suspense build, then take your time while doing it, that way it gets more intense and exciting.  ;)


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on January 04, 2008, 04:07:11 pm
I know where your coming from Deanna. Thing is, alot of guys tend to get over-excited and well, they end-up getting off way to fast for the suspence to make anything intence. I was younger when I started having sex and usually it was always intence because I had to sneak it.


Besides that though, I don't disagree with waiting. I like to take my time with a girl and build up to that moment.
Only thing about sex that has become really different for me is, fore-play.
I love it! I mean oral sex and full blown intercourse is awesome for sure. However, without the full effect that fore-play creates.
I just don't get as arosed without it. I like to make a girl cream her jeans before she takes them off.  ;)


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Pagan on January 07, 2008, 01:20:57 pm
Gee, I would tell you some of my stories and issues, but you couldn't handle them, sweetie! 


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on January 11, 2008, 04:16:55 pm
 ::) PM me Pagan and tell me them all.

 I can handle it! Trust me......
LOL

I just wish you guys knew me the way my local friends do.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on February 07, 2008, 12:19:30 am
Gee, I would tell you some of my stories and issues, but you couldn't handle them, sweetie! 

I don't know the girl on girl action might get some people off here.

I can't wait till summer, my girlfriend and I can't wait to see where we might do it next when the moment is right.  She's like the female Glen Quagmire at times.  Giggity giggity.  :o  All-right.   ;D ;D ;D


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: unknown on February 08, 2008, 03:08:47 am
Ha ha, giggety giggety


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on February 08, 2008, 10:27:52 am
Is Seth McFarlane a genius or what ?


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: rockessence on February 08, 2008, 03:30:37 pm
Is Seth McFarlane a genius or what ?

Yes BUT I have heard enough of the show tunes!


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on February 09, 2008, 01:38:12 pm
 ;D


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on February 15, 2008, 05:11:47 pm
I have one story that might be particularly disturbing to some of you.
Yet it is kinda romantic. Recently my family had spent the week at my father-inlaws house and I was all alone. Then the door bell rang and..............

You'll have to PM me for the rest. LOL


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Pagan on February 16, 2008, 01:36:28 am
And what, you ordered, "in," as in hookers?   ;)

That's romantic!    


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on February 16, 2008, 12:54:32 pm
LOL Hookers? Hardly, it didn't cost me a dime.  ;)
Although yeah that would have been kinda fun too.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: unknown on February 16, 2008, 03:47:52 pm
 Like as the waves make towards the pebbled shore,
 So do our minutes hasten to their end;
 Each changing place with that which goes before,
 In sequent toil all forwards do contend.
 Nativity, once in the main of light,
 Crawls to maturity, wherewith being crown'd,
 Crooked eclipses 'gainst his glory fight,
 And Time that gave doth now his gift confound.
 Time doth transfix the flourish set on youth
 And delves the parallels in beauty's brow,
 Feeds on the rarities of nature's truth,
 And nothing stands but for his scythe to mow:
 And yet to times in hope, my verse shall stand
Praising thy worth, despite his cruel hand.

William Shakespeare






Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on February 18, 2008, 07:32:15 pm
Actually I was invited on a trip to Governor Dodge State Park in Iowa County.
Wisconsin........ 

It's sounds interesting but I'm not getting my hopes up just yet.
For now it's looking like May.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Aristotle on April 23, 2008, 01:22:09 pm
In fact while I'm here. I'm at my wits end with certain aspects of my marriage.
I love her dearly and I would never want anything bad for her ever.
Yet, I am feeling that urge to cheat again and this time it's with someone that is always over here.

We flirt in secret all the time, but recently I kissed her and it was hot.
She flat asked me to come over to her house but right there and then it was not a good time for me with everything that was going on that day.

I don't want this and yet it feels so right and I get so confused about my own emotions in this.
Thats why I simply shut off my feelings and do the damn thing.

 :(
Yet this makes me a bad person, in the eyes of everyone else around me.
Regretful, I feel like I could care less what they say, what consequences will come it, or how it will effect my marriage.

Opinions?


I am going to answer you in this thread, Herefornow, so as the response does not get lost in the other thread amidst all the cut and pasting that must be done (it goes on for 70 pages)

Questions you must answer to yourself, do you still love your wife? Is the new relationship about more than just sex?

Personally, I woud say, if the answer to the first question is "no," I would say go for it.  Life is too short.  However, it does complicate things if you have children and I understand that you do.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Aristotle on April 25, 2008, 01:34:31 pm
Anyone know what happened to our old friend Vlad?


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on April 25, 2008, 08:04:21 pm
That's the thing.

I can't imagine myself waking up everyday without my kids, or the familiar sound of my wife's voice.
The problem is, she stimulates more then my reproductive organ. It's all so natural.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on April 26, 2008, 12:39:29 am
Yeah finding the right woman makes all the difference.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: rockessence on April 27, 2008, 05:58:59 am
In fact while I'm here. I'm at my wits end with certain aspects of my marriage.
I love her dearly and I would never want anything bad for her ever.
Yet, I am feeling that urge to cheat again and this time it's with someone that is always over here.

We flirt in secret all the time, but recently I kissed her and it was hot.
She flat asked me to come over to her house but right there and then it was not a good time for me with everything that was going on that day.

I don't want this and yet it feels so right and I get so confused about my own emotions in this.
Thats why I simply shut off my feelings and do the damn thing.

 :(
Yet this makes me a bad person, in the eyes of everyone else around me.
Regretful, I feel like I could care less what they say, what consequences will come it, or how it will effect my marriage.

Opinions?


Kid, you don't masturbate enough... any woman you ever kiss is gonna be hot...it's all in the mind.   Just because a woman wants little YOU doesn't mean she gives a **** about you, and obviously she despises your wife...and that kind of vibe is catching.  Just picture yourself outside your front door...and it's LOCKED and there's no way your ever gettin in again.....believe me you don't want that.

If your wife isn't interested in a little extra sex just tell her you gotta have it.... that will likely clearly illustrate your predicament (excuse the pun)  If she still doesn't want to help you out, that's just plain mean....and you may need to woo her all over again.

 The predator female is in heat and it's not about you.  It's about her own get-off.

The "little brain" you are thinking with is laughing at stupid you.  And it will NEVER NEVER care about the outcome, only about the come.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on April 27, 2008, 08:16:11 am
 ;D Yeah but taking your own man down is often boring.

Sure, you can think about whatever you want to but it just isn't the same.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: rockessence on April 28, 2008, 12:22:35 am
;D Yeah but taking your own man down is often boring.

Sure, you can think about whatever you want to but it just isn't the same.

How uncreative of you, dear!

Don't let that little viper determine your future... she will never be worth it.   

If you also despise your wife then just get the hell out.  You aren't doing HER any favors by hanging around when she could likely have a man who would honor her and be hot for HER.

If you just want to control her life and then have some ouside puss as well,  jeeze... stop being so befuddled... just get out of her way.  Let her have a man who wants her.  then go and get all the hot nasty chicks who will have you.   You may discover that they don't want a guy who is free, though.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on April 28, 2008, 05:12:20 am
;D Yeah but taking your own man down is often boring.

Sure, you can think about whatever you want to but it just isn't the same.

How uncreative of you, dear!

Don't let that little viper determine your future... she will never be worth it.  

If you also despise your wife then just get the hell out.  You aren't doing HER any favors by hanging around when she could likely have a man who would honor her and be hot for HER.

If you just want to control her life and then have some ouside puss as well,  jeeze... stop being so befuddled... just get out of her way.  Let her have a man who wants her.  then go and get all the hot nasty chicks who will have you.   You may discover that they don't want a guy who is free, though.

Actually Rocky, it's not just the sex that makes me so crazy lustful. I lust after romance with strangers. I guess knowing a woman is the end of the challenge for me.

As for her I have gotten out of her way and control on my part was never an issue.
I'm not one of those pocessive types who feel they need to dominate a woman for reassurence.
Beleive me, that is so not the case here at all.
I want her to screw me over and treat me badly.  LOL
I want to be the one who is constantly worrying about her and love sick.
I want a woman that can dominate me! I miss being completely "wooped"

In fact, I hate that I even have to look further then my wife for these things.

However, I lack so much emotionally that way that it can never happen.
NEVER!

Being the "Bad-Boy" type has given me an ability to face everything that the world throws at me and I still bounce back smiling everytime. However, it also made me emotionally shallow to the extent that I refuse to leave my gaurd down. And this is what I need to do to get things back on track. I want my heart to get ripped out and handed to me by someone and yet I won't allow myself to love them enough to empower them that way.

Someone, please explain this to me. Keep in mind that this is not easy for me to admit these things.
To my friends I am the most loving person they know. To my wife, she tells people all the time about how untypical I am when it comes to parenting and house-work. I help her unconditionally with everything that needs done in a day on top of working my 40-hours a week and maintaining the house.

Everything besides my emotional point of veiw is right on mark.

Yet, I see this as a part of the problem too. Other women see this and it becomes more of a challenge for them, which in turn creates the oppurtunity to repeat this ugly, unending cycle. Half of the men in my hometown are the regressive, lazy types, who take pride in nothing and mistreat everything and everyone.
The other half of them who are married and have jobs and families are happy and want their wives more then anything else.
I have everything with my wife that I should want and we are great to each other. I just have some issues with giving all of myself to her because I feel like it's not real. Physically, I am just not satisfied with anyone. Even if I have an affair, it still doesn't do it for me the way I want it too. Emotionally, I want someone like my wife, but she has to be more controlling and more.........
Something?

Again, if any of you can explain this to me then I would be forever in your debt.
Maybe I'm just stupid and I need to be dropped on my head some more. LOL
There again, I don't think it will do any good.






Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on April 28, 2008, 06:19:34 am
(http://www.alwaysontherun.net/gif/dancer.gif)



Example of what everyone thinks I should be like.
(http://benippon.com/shop/i/4757741782.jpg)

Example of what I am sometimes:
(http://benippon.com/shop/i/4091312985.jpg)


Example of my wife's innocense:
(http://benippon.com/shop/i/4757714440.jpg)

And finally, what I feel I deserve:
(http://benippon.com/shop/i/FIG-080428-1847M.jpg)


I'm a good bad boy and I feel attracted to good-bad-girls.....
I'm married to an attractive Martha Stewart, Yet I lust after an extreme Jessica Alba......


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on April 30, 2008, 03:16:32 pm
(http://www.jonathonart.com/reg-x.jpg)

Regeneration

Author  Topic: the Origins of Love - Past, Present or Future 
Dawn Moline

Member
Member # 2173

Member Rated:
   posted 01-02-2005 11:14 PM                      
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the Origins of Love

The idea for this topic arose from HereForNow's thread, "War in Heaven." To start with, we used the the model of the Watchers seducing the Daughters of Cain in the Book of Enoch. The question I first posed was, why were the Watchers first drawn to mortal women, was it lust, as the texts would have us believe, or was it love, as I personally happen to believe?

It could not be simple lust.

An angel, knowing the grace of God, would not sacrifice that grace lightly, and surely a being that is All-Knowing would know that lust is simply a passing fancy. An Angel, not knowing the draw of love, would be seduced and might make such a sacrifice. I also hold that it was not mere beauty alone that led the Watchers astray. There are female angels as well as male, and surely a female angel could become a thing of beauty far more enticing than flesh could ever conceive. I believe it was some inner quality that drew the angels, an element they saw in their creator, an innate human quality. The Watchers fell in love with the daughters of Cain because they sensed, in them, the same human quality they saw in the creator. In other words, their love for the women was the same as their love for their God. Loving the women helped them become closer to God, just as when we love one another we, too, become closer to God.

Love could not conceive of the monsters (giants) such a union at first reproduce, love simply is, it knows no master but itself, and that it enough.

When did love first enter the world? Did Neandertal man have any love for his mate? While the Ice Age hunter/gatherers hunted the Woolly Mammoth, did they do so for love?

From what I can see, love can be said to have first entered the world in one of two ways:

Human beings, descended from the apes, and all our impulses, love included, are nature's trick to get us to reproduce, impulses present in any species.

Human beings, descended from the angels, and the ability to love is of God's gift to us, perhaps our one saving grace amidst a sea of troubles.

Knowing many of you as I do, I think I can imagine which of the two camps some of you might split into. Still, I would like to put a more personal touch on this. I invite everyone to share their opinions, theories, even experiences on the reality of love, no matter how plain or how intimate. I notice many of you aren't using your real names, so there is nothing to conceal, no secret to protect. The only thing that you are protecting is whatever standing you have may have built up in the forum, which, in the final analysis, means very little anyway. I want to judge no one, I wish to understand everyone.

As human beings, I believe it our responsibility to try and gain a greater appreciation of one another. In my opinion, that is the one thing we owe to our past generations, to our children who come after us. No greater understanding can be greater than the one we have of love.


[This message has been edited by Dawn Moline (edited 01-02-2005).]

[ 08-29-2005, 08:06 PM: Message edited by: Dawn Moline ] 




Let's go back to square one for a moment.

What is love?


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on April 30, 2008, 03:20:02 pm
Simply figured:

Love is giving someone the ability to destroy you and trusting them not to.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on April 30, 2008, 03:21:36 pm
I would like to propose a toast to our friend Dawn for this topic.
  (_)>  Cheers!


On that note;

Please take notice of this one statement. It's what kept me coming back to this particular thread.

"Knowing many of you as I do, I think I can imagine which of the two camps some of you might split into. Still, I would like to put a more personal touch on this. I invite everyone to share their opinions, theories, even experiences on the reality of love, no matter how plain or how intimate. I notice many of you aren't using your real names, so there is nothing to conceal, no secret to protect. The only thing that you are protecting is whatever standing you have may have built up in the forum, which, in the final analysis, means very little anyway. I want to judge no one, I wish to understand everyone.

As human beings, I believe it our responsibility to try and gain a greater appreciation of one another. In my opinion, that is the one thing we owe to our past generations, to our children who come after us. No greater understanding can be greater than the one we have of love."


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: HereForNow on May 01, 2008, 09:07:21 am
At times I wish I was a better person, by loving what have more then loving what I want.
Deep within my soul I know that I'm not with the one that was meant for me. Yet the one that was meant for me doesn't exist.

She's all in my head. So, I will accept this Earthly life for now until that day of rest and embrace this love in my heart forever for the dream of the spirit love until that day I can give it to her.


Anyone know where that's from?  ;)


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: rockessence on May 04, 2008, 03:05:12 am
...


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on August 21, 2008, 01:19:45 am
The Female Brain, Explained
By Laura Schaefer
Wouldn't it be a relief to finally understand what is happening behind her pretty eyes? Why is it, for example, that the woman in your life is serene one moment, apocalyptic the next? How can she remember details about your life you don't even recall? And what's with her taking everything so personally? Chalk it up to female brain chemistry. Here's how to tailor your courtship to her cortex, hippocampus, etc.

Pay attention to the little things
She'll see shades of meaning in small gestures, because significant regions of the cortex — the outer layer of a brain that conducts much of its high-level computing — are thicker in the ladies. Therefore, an off-hand comment like, "I'd rather watch the game" might say more than you meant it to. Likewise, a small act of kindness (from a kiss on the cheek to simply calling ahead to make reservations) will blow her away because she'll consider both the gesture and the thoughtfulness behind the gesture.

To keep up with her memory, take notes
It's a scientific fact: Women remember everything. The hippocampus takes up a larger percent of the female brain than the male brain, which is good to know because it's where memories are formed. So while you remember, maybe, the day you met, she's recorded your first flirtation, first phone call, first date, first kiss, etc. Bottom line? There's a reason the PDA and the Google calendar were invented: Use these electronic tools to keep up with her mighty hippocampus.

Follow her calm lead versus instigating bar fights
She's much better at reining in her aggressive impulses than you are. Doctors at the University of Pennsylvania measured the size of the orbitofrontal cortex, an area of the brain involved in regulating emotions. They then compared it with the size of the amygdala, which creates emotional reactions to events. They discovered that female brains have a much larger orbitofrontal-to-amygdala ratio (OAR) than male brains do. That suggests women are better than guys at responding calmly to rudeness or aggression. "The orbitofrontal cortex (OFC) is the main ‘modulator' of amygdala action," explains researcher Ruben Gur. "So if you are at a party and someone insults you, the amygdala, which is a very primitive and old structure in human brains, will be yelling ‘Kill the guy!' The OFC is the part of the brain that will say: ‘Consider the context; there are people around.'" Thus, if you want to impress her, quiet your own amygdala and behave as gracefully as she does.

Write her a poem or at least a cute email
"Women excel in something called verbal fluency, or being able to come up with appropriate words, given cues," says Dr. Larry Cahill of the University of California at Irvine. In general, women's brains are wired to be more language-centric than men's. Researchers at McMaster University found that female brains have a greater density of neurons in parts of the temporal lobe cortex, which is the area of the brain associated with language processing and comprehension. This could help explain why women often know the right thing to say, send great cards and love notes, and choose words with such care. In wooing a love interest, it wouldn't hurt to get the help of a trusted female friend. She'll know just what to say.

Be her serotonin
Women's brains produce significantly less serotonin — the brain chemical that helps make us happy — than male brains do. So if she has a tough day at work, treat to her to a transfusion: Try a pep talk, soothing back rub or long hug.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on August 21, 2008, 01:20:41 am
The Male Brain, Explained
By Laura Schaefer
Women have puzzled over it for years—why the heck do men do the things they do? Why do they profess their love for you one minute, then ignore you the next (say, when an Attila the Hun special turns up on TV)? Why can they not remember our birthdays? Let science explain some of these conundrums—and help you rev up your relationships!
Be patient with his memory
The hippocampus, where initial memories are formed, occupies a smaller percent of the male brain than the female brain. If on your first date he can't remember where you work, even though you told him all about it when you met, just remember that size matters … hippocampus size, that is. Don't take it personally. (Oh, and don't be surprised when, months down the line, he has no clue you've just changed your hair.)

Don't expect him to get hints
Have a crush on him? You may have to put it out there, because men aren't as skilled at women at reading subtle emotional cues. As Dr. Larry Cahill of the University of California at Irvine puts it, "We have been assuming that the ways in which emotions are organized in the brain are essentially similar in men and women," but they aren't. Parts of the limbic cortex, which is involved in emotional responses, are smaller in men than in women. Additionally, scientists at McMaster University have found that guys have a smaller density of neurons in areas of the temporal lobe that deal with language processing. That's why it's probably a good idea to tell him straight-up how you're feeling ("I'm kind of hurt that you forgot I hate sushi"). Expecting him to infer from your hints could leave both of you scratching your heads.

Don't take conversation lulls personally
Fact is, guys in general just aren't as verbally adept as women are. Large parts of the cortex — the brain's outer layer that does a big part of recognizing and using subtle language cues — are thinner in men than they are in women. A study led by Dr. Godfrey Pearlson of Johns Hopkins University has shown that two areas in the frontal and temporal lobes that play an important role in language processing are significantly smaller in men. Using MRIs, the Johns Hopkins scientists measured gray matter volumes in several brain regions in 17 females and 43 males. Women had 23 percent more volume than men in the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex and 13 percent more volume than men in the superior temporal cortex. "Women," explains Dr. Cahill, "excel in being able to come up with appropriate words, given cues." Men — not so much. Don't expect him to chatter with you on dates with the skill of a girlfriend, and don't assume he's not interested in you if he occasionally lets the conversation lapse. Think of it this way: He's simply basking in moments of quiet companionship.

Appreciate his naturally upbeat nature
Does he seem to be "up" most of the time? It's not your imagination: Male brains produce 52 percent more serotonin (the chemical that influences mood) than female brains, according to a study done at McGill University. And studies show that fewer men than women suffer from depression. Guys may also have an easier time rolling with life's big stresses. If he tells you he recently lost his golden lab or suffered a job loss and doesn't get all teary, it doesn't mean he's heartless; rather, he has healthy stores of serotonin.

Don't expect his take on your relationship history to match yours
He may be incapable of seeing your shared past the way you do. Brain images have started to show that men and women use their brains in vastly different ways. For example, women use the left part of the amygdala — the part of the brain that creates emotional reactions to events — to put memories in order by emotional strength, meaning that something emotionally important to them (like a great first date a couple of months ago) will be ordered in front of what they ate for breakfast yesterday. Men, however, use the right part of the amygdala to put memories in order. Traditionally, the right hemisphere of the brain is associated with the central action of an event, while the left hemisphere is associated with finer details. Translation: You'll both remember your first date, but he might not remember the color of your sweater or the light rain that was falling that night. It doesn't mean he was checked out; it just means he's a guy.

Remember his brain is his largest sex organ
In males of several species including humans, the preoptic area of the hypothalamus is greater in volume, in cross-sectional area and in the number of cells. In men, this area is more than two times larger than in women, and it contains twice as many cells. And what, say you, does this have to do with the horizontal mambo? Plenty. This area of the hypothalamus is in charge of mating behavior.
This small structure connects to the pituitary gland, which releases sex hormones. So if your bf wants to get intimate all the time and you feel like Ms. Low Desire, remember: You're just experiencing normal, brain-based differences.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: rockessence on August 24, 2008, 06:27:34 am
Nice posts Voli!


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Michelle Sandberg on April 26, 2010, 01:27:57 pm
Anyone care to share some new personal stories?


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Pagan on October 10, 2010, 06:25:50 pm
Why? Has your own personal life dried up to the extent that you have to live through other people's sex lives?


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Keith Ranville on October 10, 2010, 07:30:50 pm
 :-*

Long distance relationships do they eventually fade in interest? and is it prevalent that someone ends up in the relationship alone before its over? Should one be pessimistic while being in any kind of relationship that basically rides on unsupervised trusting? The honest ship may have sailed out of port when the lost in love ship hits the high seas, there is no telling in what the turbulent oceans of lasting lusting love can offer anyone?

Red sky in the morning sailors take warning

I am a believer in the power of love and its phenomenal ability that can blindly lead you on through uncharted waters like a ship without a rudder.   

Red sky at night sailors delight


I will always enjoy the feelings of love, its an adventure that has many avenues, hence even through the unforgettable pains of heartbreak. But I will also always remember the lessons of love its something that you will never forget after its all said and done with. Lucky for us whomever invented love the entity left an exit plan from any loving relationship and its time it'll fade any anchored gripping feeling to the point so that you can move on with your next life's chapter in the unpromising land of the relationship world.

Fate in two people coming together is my forte, always.   

(http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs322.snc4/41392_589756465_4180_n.jpg)

I, as myself Keith.       


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Veronica Poe on October 11, 2010, 03:19:53 am
Keith, you asked:

Long distance relationships do they eventually fade in interest?

Personally, I think the most important ingredient in any love affair is physical proximity and physical contact.  You have to have those moments with someone in order to build a relationship that is both strong and healthy.  Just my opinion.

Peace,

Veronica


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Keith Ranville on October 11, 2010, 04:30:48 am
Keith, you asked:

Long distance relationships do they eventually fade in interest?

Personally, I think the most important ingredient in any love affair is physical proximity and physical contact.  You have to have those moments with someone in order to build a relationship that is both strong and healthy.  Just my opinion.

Peace,

Veronica


Hello Veronica,

Of course, but I think you miss read me, but I was saying being with someone and having with them tender moments ect.. But then having to leave across the country and then still trying to keep things maintained the way things were when before the departed began from one another.. I maybe have not emphasized that enough or I auto-thought a reader would think there was physical encounters before the ship had sailed in my previous story post; on the origin of love.

Things are usually always complicated and indescribable to the emotions felt to be put on paper sometimes.. poetic romance, I thought it to be on my last post and was somehow meant to be in a artistic manuscripted manner.

Thank you for responding to my post I am flattered someone did.

keith,


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Keith Ranville on October 11, 2010, 04:50:27 am
Is there any kind of relief interventions for romantic junkies.    :'(


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Keith Ranville on October 11, 2010, 05:26:08 am
Whats with ****® and them infomercial male & now female sex performance pills like extenze if they work for the physical part of the relationship then what about the emotional part of a relationship? A good copulate on regular basis could it really save all areas of a dwindling or lacking relationship? oppose to a intellectual relationship that has the odd roll in the hay every blue moon. Or would that depend on what said if the couples were blue collar or white collar workers?

Hypothetically; and what if someone becomes ill in a relationship and is unable to sex it up for a period of time due to a medical condition, does the other partner go shop around for another lover?


Keith,     


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Keith Ranville on October 11, 2010, 12:34:30 pm
Is America the Best place to find love and marriage like in: 1988 Coming to America?   

Directed by John Landis. With Eddie Murphy, Arsenio Hall, James Earl Jones, John Amos and other actors that later became big hoolywood stars themselves.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZBIdRGKRhM

Scene Eddy Murphy goes to a new york queens speak easy to find a wife.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUiWWMbbQ8E&feature=related

Eddy Murphy stops robber Samuel L. Jackson and woo's the woman he is interested in the process.

I think this is the show that eddy murphy began to to act as many characters..

The extent one will go to find that special love... is it worth it. It would depend on the bathetic integrity in whomever journey's down that path.


Keith,





Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Veronica Poe on October 12, 2010, 11:49:42 pm
Whats with ****® and them infomercial male & now female sex performance pills like extenze if they work for the physical part of the relationship then what about the emotional part of a relationship? A good copulate on regular basis could it really save all areas of a dwindling or lacking relationship? oppose to a intellectual relationship that has the odd roll in the hay every blue moon. Or would that depend on what said if the couples were blue collar or white collar workers?

Hypothetically; and what if someone becomes ill in a relationship and is unable to sex it up for a period of time due to a medical condition, does the other partner go shop around for another lover?


Keith,    

Those commercials are annoying.  On the other hand, sex is only a small part of what I was talking about.  By "physical contact," I meant things like holding hands, touching and kissing.  That is true intimacy, that plus sharing things with one another. You can only get that kind of closeness from talking and looking into one another's eyes.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Keith Ranville on October 13, 2010, 01:10:46 am
Whats with ****® and them infomercial male & now female sex performance pills like extenze if they work for the physical part of the relationship then what about the emotional part of a relationship? A good copulate on regular basis could it really save all areas of a dwindling or lacking relationship? oppose to a intellectual relationship that has the odd roll in the hay every blue moon. Or would that depend on what said if the couples were blue collar or white collar workers?

Hypothetically; and what if someone becomes ill in a relationship and is unable to sex it up for a period of time due to a medical condition, does the other partner go shop around for another lover?


Keith,    

Those commercials are annoying.  On the other hand, sex is only a small part of what I was talking about.  By "physical contact," I meant things like holding hands, touching and kissing.  That is true intimacy, that plus sharing things with one another. You can only get that kind of closeness from talking and looking into one another's eyes.

I hate infomercials to, history channel time slots is riddled with them out here in Canada late night? Funny how sailors in the Renaissance days the seafarers were gone for years on end from there love ones. It a mystery to why sacrifices in the name of exploration is a uncommon valor in them days relationships. Connections in love feelings is a powerful feeling I doubt there is a more powerful energy that one can mustard up for anyone, the natural human attraction to another or each there own could over come any obstacle that two can endure throughout a lifetime or a lengthy relationship. The physical attraction is an ingredient in all relationships but the emotional side of it is far more in depth of the two. 

However, we love cause it's the only true adventure.. Love needs mystery or originality, everyone wants something special for themselves from the most important part of there lives. Why have less than what has already happen or what someone thinks you deserve.


Keith,   




Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Victoria Liss on October 14, 2010, 01:02:02 am
Love is an adventure.

On the other hand, what is with all those late night infomercials anyway?  Even the Scyfy Channel has them on.  I can't imagine they get more viewers for that stuff than their regular schedule.



Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on October 14, 2010, 11:24:58 am
Is America the Best place to find love and marriage like in: 1988 Coming to America?   


Keith,


Maybe but Queens New York would be the last place anyone should look.

Dating in New York in America would be like going to the Ritz-Carlton and sleeping in the janitor's closet.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Keith Ranville on October 14, 2010, 12:00:42 pm
Is America the Best place to find love and marriage like in: 1988 Coming to America?   


Keith,


Maybe but Queens New York would be the last place anyone should look.

Dating in New York in America would be like going to the Ritz-Carlton and sleeping in the janitor's closet.

I guess it would be like going to skid row to find that special person to use you..  to support there drug habit,.. ha ha


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Deanna Witmer on October 15, 2010, 01:56:25 am
They aren't all drug users in New York.  I know that Volitzer is a big Sex in the City fan and knows all about the classy side of New York!


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on October 15, 2010, 09:50:59 pm
They aren't all drug users in New York.  I know that Volitzer is a big Sex in the City fan and knows all about the classy side of New York!

I wish there were more women like that in NYS, especially Charolette.

Watch that movie with Jack Nicholson and Helen Hunt As Good As It Gets the cranky woman Helen plays is exactly how they act.  She did a great job for somone who is known a charming person.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Keith Ranville on October 15, 2010, 10:10:19 pm
Stereotyping is like something that I've learned over time to never categorize anyone's behaviors or way of lives, they may seem different but never quite all the same.   


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on October 16, 2010, 02:06:55 am
Stereotyping is like something that I've learned over time to never categorize anyone's behaviors or way of lives, they may seem different but never quite all the same.   

Then go ahead and live in NY for a year and you'll see exactly what I am talking about.

Next to Conneticut & Rhode Island, it is the only other state having a mass exodus of its natives.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Keith Ranville on October 16, 2010, 02:12:45 am
Many cities are like that in north america,,


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Keith Ranville on October 16, 2010, 02:16:20 am
Stereotyping is like something that I've learned over time to never categorize anyone's behaviors or way of lives, they may seem different but never quite all the same.   

Then go ahead and live in NY for a year and you'll see exactly what I am talking about.

Next to Conneticut & Rhode Island, it is the only other state having a mass exodus of its natives.

Speaking of new york here is another beings to add to the equation CBS news Reports http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsoBKtl2vio


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Keith Ranville on October 16, 2010, 06:17:39 am
Stereotyping is like something that I've learned over time to never categorize anyone's behaviors or way of lives, they may seem different but never quite all the same.   

Then go ahead and live in NY for a year and you'll see exactly what I am talking about.

Next to Conneticut & Rhode Island, it is the only other state having a mass exodus of its natives.

Vancouver was built over a native village and where the ceremony area was, its now apart of downtown vancouver city its where the highest drug prostitution crime is in canada and its where many deaths happen too in the city? The VPD cop station is right smack in the middle of it.
Its why I think its a messed area of vancouver?
   


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Keith Ranville on October 16, 2010, 06:26:48 am
(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_udPz9IqHu6U/STBGOy_IYlI/AAAAAAAAAZA/GZoF66Hs_VM/s400/StanleyParkseahorse.GIF)

Here's my perception of the city that I am basically from; Vancouver B.C Canada its a aquatic city with the marking of seahorse,

Intriguing perception of I.


Keith,


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Michelle Sandberg on May 29, 2012, 12:03:36 am
Whats with ****® and them infomercial male & now female sex performance pills like extenze if they work for the physical part of the relationship then what about the emotional part of a relationship? A good copulate on regular basis could it really save all areas of a dwindling or lacking relationship? oppose to a intellectual relationship that has the odd roll in the hay every blue moon. Or would that depend on what said if the couples were blue collar or white collar workers?

Hypothetically; and what if someone becomes ill in a relationship and is unable to sex it up for a period of time due to a medical condition, does the other partner go shop around for another lover?


Keith,    

Those commercials are annoying.  On the other hand, sex is only a small part of what I was talking about.  By "physical contact," I meant things like holding hands, touching and kissing.  That is true intimacy, that plus sharing things with one another. You can only get that kind of closeness from talking and looking into one another's eyes.

Ain't that the truth! What we are missing these days since the internet started is more intimacy, I think. Sure, its a great way to get to know new people and I have made a lot of great new friends since I have been on the internet. But nothing takes the place of actual physical contact and intimacy.

Michelle


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Calvin Noble on May 29, 2012, 03:46:28 am
Too much touching and too much intimacy leads to a sinful life. One must always be wary of the excesses of the flesh, Michelle.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on May 31, 2012, 04:32:16 pm
Nah thanks to Globalists women can be just as irresponsible now than ever, after all they want the state raising thier kids cuz nuclear families are out with them.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Deanna Witmer on June 02, 2012, 10:14:38 pm
Volitzer!  You really don't like women, do you?


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on June 04, 2012, 02:02:06 pm
How do you equate the Globalist's destruction of the nuclear family in America to me hating women ?

I love women; except the stupid ones.

The stupid ones play right into the Globalist's game.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Deanna Witmer on July 04, 2012, 12:28:39 am
If you define "love" by blaming us for everything, then gee, sure that's love! You are a misogynist, Volitzer!


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on July 05, 2012, 03:55:29 pm
Many women today wouldn't know how to have a good relationship cuz many of them come from so many broken homes.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Deanna Witmer on July 14, 2012, 10:40:35 pm
So its always only the WOMAN'S fault..? Gee, that is what makes you a misogynist there, Volitzer!


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on July 16, 2012, 12:14:08 pm
I have seen the destruction first-hand of the Globalists' attack on the traditional nuclear family.

No it is not always the woman's fault nor is it always the man's.

What I do see is men figuring out the Globalists' plan and doing what they can to preserve a nuclear family whereas women just **** and moan that welfare doesn't cover everything and dates guys that will likely end up in jail cuz of the lifestyle they are leading.  Then their children grow up fatherless, they join gangs, meet up with other women from broken homes and then the whole cycle starts up again.  All tjhe while expanding the Prison-Systems making the right-wing-Globalists happy and expanding the welfare state making the left-wing-Globalists happy.

Most women here have a college background and won't end up in this cycle of tragedy, but to think that this doesn't go on with your friends or friends of your friends is kind of naive.

One has to give kudos to e-Harmony, Match.com, Christian-Mingle and other dating websites for trying to combat the evils of the Globalists' Agenda.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Rebelitarian on July 19, 2012, 12:53:15 pm
Volitzer 
Insert Quote
Nah thanks to Globalists women can be just as irresponsible now than ever, after all they want the state raising thier kids cuz nuclear families are out with them.  

You think Globalists are behind every bad realtionship in America... Quite a stretch....

Deanna Witmer 
Insert Quote
Volitzer!  You really don't like women, do you?  

Where do you draw that conclusion from there Deanna ?







Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on July 19, 2012, 01:58:17 pm

Volitzer 
Insert Quote
Nah thanks to Globalists women can be just as irresponsible now than ever, after all they want the state raising thier kids cuz nuclear families are out with them.  

You think Globalists are behind every bad realtionship in America... Quite a stretch....


No but you got to admit between the 16 and Pregnant and the Jerry Springer like shows it is like their media is encouraging it.

The more degeneracy, the bigger the nanny-state.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Robert0326 on July 19, 2012, 08:15:11 pm
Wow, if you believe that the Springer show is real, I've got a bridge in New York I can sell you.  ::)


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on July 21, 2012, 10:49:12 am
Go into these cities where the ghettos are, you know the Democrat's voting base, and see just how Jerry Springer-esque these places are.  Jerry Springer is just a mirror for the ghetto trash and trailer-trash elements that is America.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jennifer O'Dell on August 10, 2013, 10:19:20 pm
The Democrats voting base is not "the ghetto," it is college students, the elderly, middle class people, the unions and women. The Republicans only appeal to old rich white men and the bigots.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Rebelitarian on August 22, 2013, 12:28:51 pm
The Democrats voting base is not "the ghetto," it is college students, the elderly, middle class people, the unions and women. The Republicans only appeal to old rich white men and the bigots.

college students, - By outsouceing jobs how are these college students ever to pay back their college loans ?

the elderly, - The Obamacare Death Panels, not the type of representation my 75 and 80 year old parents want.

middle class people,  -  100 million unemployed and Jeff Immelt still outsources jobs as jobs czar.  How is that helping the middle-class ?  Corporations save millions and more gov't aid has to be given out.

the unions -  With no jobs to be had who is paying the union dues and wielding congressional influence ?  Unions are so impotent today, their clout is laughable.

women -  yes, keeping women on welfare so their sons can end up in the prison systems and their daughters on welfare as well.  Intergenerational incarceration and dependency.

With representation like that 3rd parties should more than step up and set America straight.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Volitzer on August 24, 2013, 03:46:42 pm
The big problem with America is that people want to be like children their whole lives anymore and the Demcorats are all too happy to pander to their nanny-state desires.

The Democrat Party is a socialist party that dupes votes away from working Americans.

Of course many of them are too lazy and uneducated to see that.

Of course at this rate even if working Americans did join the Constitution Party the modern welfare demographic would still out vote them by voting Democrat.

How revolting, all this info on the internet and Americans are just too damned lazy to educate themselves.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Rebelitarian on September 12, 2013, 03:18:37 pm
If the 100+ million who are unemployed would vote for the Constitution Party that would out do the regular voters who in the last election voted 66 million for Obama and 40 million for Romney.

I hope these 100+ million think to vote for Jess Ventura in 2016.  By then even the stupidest American will be hurting enough to want change.

Getting back on topic....

How are the couples here doing as far as living in this current economy.  They say marriages are down dramatically since Bilderbergonomics has hit America hard.

I know many of my friends are on government benefits who never thought they would be.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Trent on June 10, 2014, 05:47:03 pm
Well, the economy is doing a little better, but wages still suck. You can't blame Obama for that, save for the fact that he did very little to stand up for the unions. It is the Republicans who bashed them all in the first place, the bastards.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Rebelitarian on June 16, 2014, 10:24:53 am
Unions are in the sad shape they are in cuz they refuse to support the Constitution Party and they keep supporting the globalist Democrats.

When Americans stop voting in traitor parties then America will turn it around.


Title: Re: the Origins of Love
Post by: Jennifer O'Dell on May 20, 2015, 08:01:13 pm
I don't see anything in the Constitution Party about supporting unions or labor. All they seem to  want is less rights for  labor, which helps big business.