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Expresso Yourself at the Espresso Bar!

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Author Topic: Expresso Yourself at the Espresso Bar!  (Read 5186 times)
HereForNow
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« Reply #360 on: June 23, 2008, 04:45:59 pm »

Is that one of Rocky's?

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Qoais
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« Reply #361 on: June 23, 2008, 06:44:04 pm »

Nope, a tribute to Bob Hope actually.
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An open-minded view of the past allows for an unprejudiced glimpse into the future.

Logic rules.

"Intellectual brilliance is no guarantee against being dead wrong."
HereForNow
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« Reply #362 on: June 23, 2008, 09:33:30 pm »

What, and no John Denver?

Man what's this world coming too.  Roll Eyes
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rockessence
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« Reply #363 on: June 24, 2008, 03:05:36 am »

Gosh HereF, Wow, thanks!

I have been working on a short story..In 2 parts, the first is called "Pearl" and the second is "Terry"...It starts in 1961 in No. London when they first meet, she is 12 and he is 15 and the become close friends immediately and then in 67 they become lovers and she is telling the story... then in "Terry" he is telling his side of the story, why she is so amazing, etc.  and he then tells of the time where they meet and then later become lovers and then tells of parting in 69 and then meeting her again in 75 and again in 95 and discovering that her 25 year old daughter "Teresa" is his child from their parting in 69 ...  Oh I know it sounds soapy, but it ain't that bad...they're good characters, and it's a pretty gritty story.
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ILLIGITIMI NON CARBORUNDUM

Thus ye may find in thy mental and spiritual self, ye can make thyself just as happy or just as miserable as ye like. How miserable do ye want to be?......For you GROW to heaven, you don't GO to heaven. It is within thine own conscience that ye grow there.

Edgar Cayce
HereForNow
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« Reply #364 on: July 05, 2008, 09:44:24 am »

You have got to read this.  Cheesy
You married women will love this.

Subject: MALE CURIOSITY / STUPIDITY

  Just try reading this without laughing till you cry!!!

Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who
purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted
this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that
sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was
looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came
across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the
taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect
on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought
it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the
button. Nothing!

I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the
button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get
the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.
AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn
spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself
that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right?

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently
(trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking
that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving
target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a
second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was
going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger,
I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my
reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions
in one hand, and taser in another. The directions said that a one-second
burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was
supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a
three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the
ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds
would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little
device measuring about 5' long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference;
pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries)
thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my
best...?

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked

to one side as if to say, 'don't do it dipshit,' reasoning that a one second
burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I
decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched
the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . .
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . .
WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . .
WHAT THE HELL!!!

I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door,
picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet,
over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in
the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples
on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my
body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs?

The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before,
clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an
attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living
room.

Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a taster,
one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when
you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is
dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor.. A
three second burst would be considered conservative?

SON-OF-A-****, THAT HURT LIKE HELL!!!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative
thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat
up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel
of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so
from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples
were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with
Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the
drooling. Apparently I **** on myself, but was too numb to know for sure
and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head
which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my nuts and I'm
offering a significant reward for their safe return!!

P. S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me
with it!

'If you think Education is difficult, try being stupid.'
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HereForNow
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« Reply #365 on: July 27, 2008, 02:20:47 pm »

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HereForNow
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« Reply #366 on: July 28, 2008, 03:38:42 pm »

BTW, the name of that last song is, "Wood pecker from mars" by Faith No more......
Great song for hard manual labor.

Takes your mind off the burn.
« Last Edit: July 28, 2008, 03:41:44 pm by HereForNow » Report Spam   Logged

HereForNow
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« Reply #367 on: August 02, 2008, 03:08:51 pm »

http://www.dizzler.com/music/Queensryche/One_And_Only

Give this one a chance and suddenly your able to close your eyes and go air born.
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Qoais
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« Reply #368 on: August 02, 2008, 08:28:40 pm »

Just wondering if anyone knows where Bianca's been for the last couple of days?!???
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An open-minded view of the past allows for an unprejudiced glimpse into the future.

Logic rules.

"Intellectual brilliance is no guarantee against being dead wrong."
Brooke
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« Reply #369 on: August 02, 2008, 10:54:59 pm »

I wish I knew!  She has yet to respond to my last email to her.

I hope she isn't sick again!  I'll let everyone know if I hear from her.

Brooke
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"The most incomprehensible thing about our universe is that it can be comprehended." - Albert Einstein
Brooke
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« Reply #370 on: August 02, 2008, 11:15:42 pm »

Maybe she just has some family in town and is celebrating her birthday!  I notice the last time she was here was on the 30th, which is her b-day.  Too bad we didn't have it marked here so we could have celebrated it then as well!

Brooke
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"The most incomprehensible thing about our universe is that it can be comprehended." - Albert Einstein
Qoais
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« Reply #371 on: August 03, 2008, 08:46:24 pm »

Let's hope it's something pleasant like a celebration for sure.
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An open-minded view of the past allows for an unprejudiced glimpse into the future.

Logic rules.

"Intellectual brilliance is no guarantee against being dead wrong."
HereForNow
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Posts: 3278


HUH?


« Reply #372 on: August 17, 2008, 02:18:33 pm »

Just when the world is abuzz about the possibility that the Mars Phoenix Lander will find evidence of liquid water and life-enabling conditions in the prehistoric Martian past, a new report throws a bucket of salty water on that enthusiasm.

Researchers studied geochemical findings from the Mars rover Opportunity, and now say that even if liquid water did exist on Mars in a warmer era in the planetís history, it was probably too salty to support life ó or at least, life as we know it.

Martian waters were 10 to 100 times saltier than the Earthís typical seawater, according to the report in Science, a salinity level which would kill all organisms that humans know of.


However, it also stands to reason that liquid water is there. Salt water doesn't freeze at the same temp., that frest water does.

 In fact ice water in solid form hints fresh water deposits.

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HereForNow
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« Reply #373 on: August 20, 2008, 03:49:21 pm »

http://www.dizzler.com/index.search.dv8?q=falsetto
Song two in the list from The Dream-Falsetto
is just one of those songs that makes me think passion and romance.


« Last Edit: August 20, 2008, 03:56:06 pm by HereForNow » Report Spam   Logged

HereForNow
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« Reply #374 on: August 20, 2008, 04:21:22 pm »

http://www.dizzler.com/music/Styx/Lady
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