What Can Americans Expect Under A Trump Presidency?

[Psycho]

What Can Americans Expect Under A Trump Presidency?
INFOGRAPHIC
November 11, 2016
Vol 52 Issue 44    Politics · Politicians · Presidents · Donald Trump



With two months until the inauguration of Donald Trump, many Americans are wondering what his term will look like and what his administration might accomplish. The Onion answers some common questions about Trump’s upcoming presidency:

    Q: What will happen to women’s reproductive rights?

    A: Trump will preserve a woman’s right to choose between vaginal delivery or cesarean section.

    Q: How will Trump handle the press?

    A: All journalists will retain their right to a fair trial and court-appointed attorney.

    Q: What about minorities who feel targeted by Trump’s rhetoric?

    A: Voters have already decided this does not matter.

    Q: What will Trump do about foreign conflicts?

    A: Trump has not shared any details about how he will escalate conflicts overseas.

    Q: What does this mean for our European allies?

    A: Jesus Christ, we can’t be worrying about them right now.

    Q: This is all just going to seem more and more normal every day, isn’t it?

    A: Nah. You’re going to be weirded out every day.

    Q: What could be the consequence of Donald Trump’s climate policy?

    A: I’m sorry, which climate policy are you referring to, exactly?

    Q: He won’t take away my guns, will he?

    A: What? No. Do you just think that about everyone?

    Q: How will his tax plans affect me?

    A: You’ll be fine so long as you identify as an estate.

    Q: Will Trump legalize marijuana?

    A: If this is what you’re worried about, things are probably going to be just fine for you.

    Q: Will I be four whole years older when this all ends?

    A: Yes.

    Q: How are you holding up?

    A: Not great. But thanks for asking.

http://www.theonion.com/infographic/what-can-americans-expect-under-trump-presidency-54689

[Agatha]

By golly, they can expect the Mexicans to go back to Mexico, the Muslims to all get bombed and women to leave the work force and go back to having babies again!  All the gays will go back into the closet, oh, and the rich folk will get more money. That's what America all voted for so I don't want to see no sad faces.

[Fran]

I'm expecting a return to the 1950s, oh God bless America for making the RIGHT choice! He'll get those liberals and baby killers some religion! Donald is a God-fearing man!

[Roy McGiness]

By golly, this victory showed what white people can do if they get good and angry! I see Donald starting lots of wars with those Muslim fellas. And he'll also be kicking all the people we don't like out of the country. Rich people back in charge! Just the way America likes it.

[Chester]

I guess we just showed America a thing or two.

[Proud to be GOP]

You like that liberals, you like that? Guess we done shown America a thing or two.

[Proud to be GOP]

YAHOO..! wE DUN WON aMERICA, THE cONFEDERACY IS REBORN!

[Jasper]

Rich fellers taking over again, I'm sure they'll look out for the rest of us. Pretty dang sure they'll be able to relate to the rest of us.  They always have, right?

[Gerald R. Piggery]

Christmas came early this year for the rich! No only are we getting a nice fat tax cut, but Wall St. will get access to the Social Security trust fund and what's left of your pensions. Suck it up, buttercup.

[Lawrence Fragg]

While you're waiting for us to deport all the people you don't like, we are going to shake every last dime out of the treasury and put it into our pocket books.

[Mitch McBushen]

We want everything, give us all your money!
And guess what? We'll probably be going after your guns, too! That way it won't matter if you get angry when we do things you don't like.

[Mitch McBushen]

PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Skeeter]

By golly, that is the type of election that makes you feel proud to be an American! We don't like minorities and we want to give all our money to the rich.

[Edith]

America is now being controlled by a good Christian man who will kick all the dark people out of America!!!

[Edith]

It will be like the 1950s again!