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Top 10 Reasons to Vote For Mitt Romney (Satire)

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Byron
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« on: June 15, 2012, 10:00:27 pm »

Top 10 Reasons to Vote For Mitt Romney (Satire)

    Juan Blanco
   



10) He can raise $10,000,000 in undisclosed funds without getting too much negative publicity. This trick will be very important in the general election just in case he needs to get more money from a secret source.

http://www.opensecrets.org/pres12/candidate.php?id=N00000286

9) Romney is going to make this election about Obama. What is most important is that Barack Obama does not get 4 more years. Mitt stands for this and his message is very clear and concise. He has a vision of this country and that vision does not include Barack Obama. His message is: Obama is doing a bad job, Obama must not get 4 more years, and furthermore he is not Obama. The rest of his message will be subject to vague rhetoric and pandering based on location and audience.

http://www.policymic.com/articles/7561/top-10-reason-to-vote-for-obama-in-2012-satire



Cool He has the the best fake grassroots campaign Goldman Sachs can buy. It doesn’t matter if it is fake grassroots signs or paid supporters in the streets, nothing demonstrates the people’s candidate better than a well placed photo opportunity.




7) He is an experienced businessman and knows how to run a business. Romney was able to turn around the bankrupt Olympics. He did it all alone with all of his business experience and $410,000,000 of federal money. He even managed to get $1,000,000 from the Department of Education to help pay for the Olympics. As president, think of all the things he can he get the Department of Education to fund. I believe that as president, he will even be able to turn around the Department of Education and get it to fund education. He has proven experience to do so.




6) He is the most thoughtful president when to comes to foreign policy. He was asked about whether he needed authorization to go to war with Iran in a 2008 debate. His answer revealed that he will thoughtfully check with his lawyers first before making any rash decision. He is so thoughtful that he would not think of burdening Congress with deciding matters of war.




5) He was able to strongly secure the Republican nomination from the mainstream media long ago. There has never been any dispute in the mainstream media that he has always had the Republican nomination locked. This became crystal clear when GOP Chair Charlie Wester of Maine called him the winner when they only counted 84% of the total votes. It doesn’t really matter what happen in Missouri, Georgia, North Dakota, Nevada, Iowa, Minnesota, Washington, or making a legitimate delegate count.




4) The mainstream media will continue to minimize the truth or give misinformation about the delegate process in favor of Mitt Romney. The mainstream media has gotten so reckless at trying to keep the public misinformed it has made the long 1992 documentary by Noam Chomsky Manufacturing Consent trendy again. It doesn't really matter if the Republican National Convention does not recognize a state's binding of national delegates, but considers each delegate a free agent who can vote for whoever they choose. They have decided that he is the inevitable nominee. It's not like there is anyone else still in the race based on what they have been reporting. 



http://www.hulu.com/watch/118171/manufacturing-consent

!

3) He has the most enthusiastic supporters. He is without a doubt the inevitable nominee. Most would think that if he is the inevitable nominee that his young supporters would take a back seat until the general election. But not his devout supporters. Inevitable nomination of the GOP will not stop his young supporters to help his campaign. The young supporter in Maine that was caught on tape handing out fake Ron Paul delegate slates to defraud the delegate process is a stellar example of this. Look at the excitement for Romney’s candidacy in this young man face after he got caught in Nevada. I really do commend their devotion and enthusiasm to the Romney campaign. Who else has supporters like this?


!

2) You and he have the same positions on all issues. One time or another you can be sure that Romney supported your position on abortion, bailouts, health care, and (fill in the blank). He is the only candidate that has had so many different positions that you can find clips of him speaking to create a video montage of the perfect video of the perfect Mitt Romney you want to vote for. He has been by far the most consistent with his inconsistency.





1) He is a clear contrast to Obama. Aside from agreeing with the superfluous issues like the National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA), desire to implement socialized health care, an intervention foreign policy, starting or continuing undeclared wars, sanctions on Iran, domestic stimulus spending, backing by Goldman Sachs, and putting aside all the other small issues, there are some very big contrasting items. Romney graduate from Harvard Law in 1975 Obama graduated from there in 1991. Romney is Mormon and Obama is Christian. Most importantly is how they would use different styles in implementing similar policies. There is one example that demonstrates the style contrast clearly. Obama has a Portuguese Water Dog named Bo that travels in a cage by plane but Romney had an Irish Settler named Seamus that he transported on the roof of an automobile for 12 hours. It doesn’t get any more black and white than that.




http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/01/mitt-romney-dog-on-roof_n_1468229.html


http://www.policymic.com/articles/8048/top-10-reasons-to-vote-for-mitt-romney-satire
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Byron
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« Reply #1 on: June 15, 2012, 10:02:20 pm »



    Benjamin Feinblum
    4 weeks ago

Wait a second, but Romney should win because he is the master of endorsement. Here is my blog post of Romney endorsing all the largest policy items of Obama... that he now attacks everyday. He is literally running around the country attacking what he thought was great before.

Don't take my word for it. This is filled with videos of Romney himself.

Did he forget who he is?
http://realitycheck9.blogspot.com/2012/03/romney-praising-obama.html
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« Reply #2 on: June 16, 2012, 02:53:26 pm »

An Open Letter to Democratic and Republican Voters

Our dear slaves,

We, the Rothschilds and Rockefellers of the world, extend our heartfelt thanks to the tens of millions of mainline Democrats and mainline Republicans out there who make up the bulk of the American electorate.

First and foremost, thank you for the trillions in extortion “bailout” money, and for continuing to vote for one or the other of the two political parties that jointly gave us all that money at your expense.

Thank you for letting our uniformed goons grope, radiate and harass you and your loved ones (especially your children!) at the airport.

Thank you for always putting partisanship above principle.

Thank you for always winking and looking the other way (or mindlessly applauding) when "your" party does the very things you wax indignant about whenever the "other" party does them, and for being willfully blind to the moral and intellectual hypocrisy this betrays.

Thank you for never questioning the validity of the "wasted vote" argument.

Thank you for being such willing dupes for the teleprompter-reading puppets (e.g., Clinton, Bush, Obama, Romney, etc.) we put before you every election season, and for never asking them real questions.

Thank you for being so willfully stupid as to think there’s no fundamental difference between an election and a horse race, and for consequently assuming that even if the candidate you vote for supports the very policies you most passionately oppose, as long as he wins the election, you “win” as well.

Thank you for sheepishly letting our water-carrying, talking point-parroting minions in the TV "news" media dictate to you not only which issues are more important than others, but what your "choices" are on election day.

Thank you for being so ridiculously gullible that you honestly think a pro-war/pro-police state/pro-debt money/pro-NWO Democrat, on the one hand, and a pro-war/pro-police state/pro-debt money/pro-NWO Republican, on the other, represents an actual "choice."

Thank you for being so cowardly, so pathetic, and so unwilling to question the validity of your fairy-tale worldview, that -- no matter how many **** facts are spoon fed to you by informed truth-seekers -- you go right on clinging to the term "conspiracy theory" the way a four-year-old child clings to his teddy bear.

Thank you for having so much of your precious egos invested in the delusional fantasy that we (the ruling-class oligarchs you like to pretend don't exist) never "conspire" to engage in criminal wrongdoing, that you have to be dragged kicking and screaming (like the spoiled children you all are) into acknowleding each and every fact that points in the opposite direction.

Thank you for doing the "SIEG HEIL!" to the official story on 9/11 whenever someone criticizes either the Nazi-style police state or terroristic wars of aggression for which that official story continues to serve as the all-justifying excuse.

Thank you for spending nearly all your free time either gazing glassy-eyed at the television, playing video games, or fondling your cell phones.

Thank you for always treating politics as just another specator sport.

Thank you for being unwilling to recognize an Orwellian euphemism when you hear one (or, even better, for being blissfully ignorant of what the term euphemism even means).

And last but certainly not least, thank you for being so arrogant as to think that giggling and snickering at everything like you’re still in high school some how makes you part of our club -- and hence immune from our depopulation agenda. (News flash: it doesn't.)

Were it not for your willful ignorance, your moral and intellectul cowardice, and your childlike obsession with mindless distractions, we wouldn't be having such a laughably easy time economically ass-raping you and wrapping the Nazification of America in the American flag.

You are without question the wet dream of every totalitarian dictator who's ever lived, because there's absolutely no amount of tyranny or police state thuggery you won't sheepishly put up with as long as (a) you have TVs to gawk at and cell phones to fondle, and (b) you have someone -- anyone -- to look down your snooty little noses at.

Your increasingly and ravenously affectionate owners,

The Eight Families
 
http://forum.prisonplanet.com/index.php?topic=217087.0;topicseen

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Krista Davenport
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« Reply #3 on: June 16, 2012, 06:14:39 pm »

The only slave I see here is you, a slave to all your conspiracy theories while the real world slams on by! I bet you still think everyone should vote for Ron Paul, the rich man's beatch.  Smiley
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Byron
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« Reply #4 on: June 17, 2012, 04:34:14 am »

Anyone here get that this is a satire?

And Volitzer, your solution is impractical! The problem is not both parties, it's the Republican Party: filled with greedy pigs that just want to cut social programs and start more wars. You can have them!
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Byron
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« Reply #5 on: June 17, 2012, 04:34:36 am »

Anyone here get that this is a satire?

And Volitzer, your solution is impractical! The problem is not both parties, it's the Republican Party: filled with greedy pigs that just want to cut social programs and start more wars. You can have them!
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Rebelitarian
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« Reply #6 on: June 24, 2012, 03:40:41 pm »

People are still losing their jobs and houses under Obama.

I've read many sides of the issue here.

Tell me again why Obama has the support he does here ?
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Volitzer
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« Reply #7 on: June 25, 2012, 02:29:39 pm »

Anyone here get that this is a satire?

And Volitzer, your solution is impractical! The problem is not both parties, it's the Republican Party: filled with greedy pigs that just want to cut social programs and start more wars. You can have them!

How would you know if electing Libertarians, Constitutionalists and Greenies to Congress wouldn't make for better government ?

I would like to see Cynthia McKinney run on the Green Party this year for President as we have an ex-Republican running on the CP ticket which begs to ask why we couldn't do better this year.
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Byron
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« Reply #8 on: June 26, 2012, 08:17:21 pm »

Libertarian? No, I am not for less government, I believe that government exists to help people. What else are we paying taxes for?

Constitution Party? Well, when those guys start actually reading the Constitution, maybe they'll be onto something.

Green?  Too vague and undefined.
Quote
People are still losing their jobs and houses under Obama.

I've read many sides of the issue here.

Tell me again why Obama has the support he does here ?

Gee, cause the Republicans were the ones that made the mess in the first place?  All they are doing is whining cause he hasn't cleaned up their mess faster! Why go back to the policies that got us into this mess?
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