the Origins of Love

[Volitzer]

I realize where your going with all of this Jean, and you are right. Things could be alot worse.
As they are, their is always going to be the question of "what if"....
I'm Here For Now though, and I really do try to make the most of it. I think one of the things I'm going to do is not think about it. Just go with it, and see what happens.

Recently I decided that I need to make a few changes anyways.....
Perhaps those things are much more important. Thank you Jeannette for talking with me. It was fun.

I seems that now, we've run out of gas on this subject though.
 

Appearently, no one else is willing to express those things they have done for love.

I did!!!   

www.eharmony.com

The journey to happiness begins with a single click... 

[HereForNow]

Ok, now I'm sure!
This guy is working for Eharmony.

 

All joking aside, you are very intelligent and I definitely won't dispute that about you volitzer.
Yet, for the love of God I can't understand what this compatibility science has to do with how true love begins, when their are people who are not compatible with a mate but knows what being in-love with that person is.

[Volitzer]

HFN:

I am not as insensitive to your dilema as you may think.

My own brother is incompatible with his wife.  She is absent from the household and the marriage very often.  She has even cheated on him as well.

I try to get him to understand that a compatible loving relationship can be his and that there are women out their who share in his vision.  Unfortunately he still loves his wife despite everything she's done to him and has no plans to divorce her.

He's always like "Well I made a commitment in the eyes of God." and nothing I or anyone else says gets thru to him.

It saddens me to have my own success and to watch him suffer needlessly.

Of course I learned long ago not to waste time with those who won't or are incapeable of loving you back.

[HereForNow]

I know you aren't being insensitive Volitzer. We go back a ways in this forum thing.
I don't know man, I just have trouble letting go of people all the way around. It's like being on a sinking ship and staying on it til everyone else is off alive.

Recently, I relized that one of the reasons I have never been in-love with only one person is because I have never given up on loving everyone I've known and cared about. I just have to many people in there to give all my love to. It's never been my nature to hurt anyone until I went through a small crisis awhile back that made me turn my back on the world.

Right now at this point, I have found my calling because God loved me enough to open my heart to him.
Volitzer, you have been awesome through all of this and you atleast showed me compassion and mercy by trying to encourage me to analyze what I have. Even though you know already that I'm not going to E-harmony. LOL

Jean made a very good point to me to that had me thinking that maybe I should do what Jesus told us to do. "BELEIVE"
Because he so loved the world, he give his only son that we might not perish but have ever lasting life.....


That sentence instantly caused me to turn back to God....
It's the only real love I do know and feel throughout me. Through this, I'm able to love all things great and small. This is what I really want. I feel trapped by my own existence only because I didn't lift my heart beyond what I knew. Now I feel so free, and this all came to me when I prayed to be forgiven for all that I've done. Seriously!
I'm returning to the pages of my bible from now on, for my answers about love....


As for your brother, he sounds like a man who is commited himself to God as well.
He's just not content with that yet. He is faithful though, and this will be rewarded regaurdless of how he suffers now. One day he may know peace, and unconditional love.
I now know what I've really needed all along was an answer to my prayer.

I will be devoting my time to my kids and my marriage. I have alot to make up for and I want what I have.
Life is so much easier when you keep it simple. Tell your brother that I will pray for him to know what God is trying to tell him.

I GOT MY WAKE UP CALL....
Amen

[Volitzer]

You could just get a compatibility assessment from eHarmony or a relationship counselor.

I don't think you are 100% incompatible with your wife.  However you 2 may need to resolve your incompatible sticky points.

That is if you want to keep on with this path you're on.   

[HereForNow]

What finally lead me to this conclusion was an incident last tuesday.
My mom is a Jehovah's witness and she was trying to talking me into going to a meeting with her.
I refused to go over and over again because I don't beleive alot of what they preceive in the bible.

She then asked me, "Then what is it you do beleive?" She then smiled at me and told me to think about it.
The fact I couldn't answer her was when I realized what I've turned my back on.
Later that night I shut the door to the bathroom and felt like I had lost everything that was dear to me.
So, I prayed to God to forgive me, and to accept me as his now humbled servant. I also prayed for understanding enough to love. Last, I prayed for everyone to be forgiven for all there sins.

That is when I suddenly remembered Jesus and why he was sacraficed.
It was bells and whistles going off in my head. I cried a little bit because I knew he answered me right there and then. I felt aweful for not listening to him in the first place.
I knew this was exactly why I've been so misurable. The second thing God did to show me where I needed to begin happened on my way out of my bathroom.

My two sons Matthew and Jacob were both standing there waiting to go in, and Matthew told me that he loved me and he hugged me. Out of the blue, no reason. Jacob just smiled like he always does and walked away saying "Daddy out momma".. I looked into the living room and Michelle was trying to get my Daughters ready to go to Grandmas....
After they all took off to go to my mom's house, everything was quiet. I then prayed again and thanked God for answering me. Right then the fan blew open a paper back book my mom left for my wife.

Funny thing was before I was able to ignore it, I noticed something that was in the book.
Right on the book mark that was in it, was a scipture from out of the bible.
The lords prayer!

Tell me that was all a coincidence, please.
For me it was a miracle, and I'm telling everyone...

Honest and truely, it all happened.

[HereForNow]

You could just get a compatibility assessment from eHarmony or a relationship counselor.

I don't think you are 100% incompatible with your wife.  However you 2 may need to resolve your incompatible sticky points.

That is if you want to keep on with this path you're on.   

Volitzer, I sincerely do man. She really wants this marriage to work, and I know thats she in-love with me.
Probably more so then anyone else ever would have after everything. I was shown that love is all around me and all I have to do is reach out my hand and embrace it. I understand now that this whole time I've allowed negitive energies to flow through me, never considering that it didn't have to be this way. I was ready to walk away from everything because I felt like I ruined it all. My inner being then told me to pray, and you know the rest.

I have never punked out to a challenge before and I am not going to start now. 
I think we all owe Dawn Moline Kudos as well. Her compassion for others was very inspiring and was the basis for this wonderful forum....

All my love Dawn and thank you.

[Volitzer]

You could just get a compatibility assessment from eHarmony or a relationship counselor.

I don't think you are 100% incompatible with your wife.  However you 2 may need to resolve your incompatible sticky points.

That is if you want to keep on with this path you're on.   

Volitzer, I sincerely do man. She really wants this marriage to work, and I know thats she in-love with me.
Probably more so then anyone else ever would have after everything. I was shown that love is all around me and all I have to do is reach out my hand and embrace it.

Cool!!!!!! 

[Aristotle]

Herefornow asked, "maybe we should cease the conversation as no one else wants to talk about their experiences with love."

I suggest that the rest of us now begin to talk about those experiences, fleeting or not, successful or failures.

I will begin with something that happened to me yesterday. I am a bit older than the college students which post here, although I do live in a university setting and still look young. I do, at times, seem to walk in both worlds - I have the experience of a man who has lived and loved many times, however I still draw attention from those who have not.

I was in the grocery store yesterday, wondering that I hadn't been attracted to anyone for a time and the reasons why.  Had I fallen out of fascination with passion, or had I simply not met any woman lately that struck my interest?

No sooner than I thought that when I saw the most lovely young woman, walking past me in the store - she was short, blonde, dressed in a gray business suit as if she was a young professional.  She had a cute, capricious quality and, on that hot day, seemed unusually fresh. I couldn't help staring at her, and I didso overtly, she was that cute.  She looked back at me, too, then we passed one another.

I was ready to check out and yet I thought it would be fun to get one last glimpse at her before I left the store.  I checked a couple of aisles, she was nowhere to be seen, and I assumed she had left already.  A bit of sadness seized me - another beautiful woman that had crossed my path, yet I would never see again. 

And then, as I paid for my groceries, to my surprise, she came up behind me and stood behind me in line.  Up close, she was every bit as blonde and cute as I thought she was in the store, and young, too.  The word beautiful did not come to mind so much as "adorable."  Women have that quality, you know, where they can sometimes stay half-child. It was as if fate had, this time, offered me a second chance to get her. I looked at her, she smiled at me, as if knowing I liked her, and I smiled back. And then, I paid for my groceries and simply left the floor.

I really get the feeling I could have had her, in the past, I have actually met quite a few women in grocery stores.  But, even though she didn't know it, this girl was young enough to be my daughter, and, sadly enough, I am now at an age where I think of the consequences of my actions as opposed to operating simply on instinct.  Age, it seems, often brings consequences of it's own.

[Volitzer]

Some women in their 20s have no idea what they want and will screw every wrong guy in between, the lucky ones won't get pregnant into their 30s and the unlucky ones will have kids.

Fortunately the idea of maintaining their beauty for masculine attention has caught on with the majority of women to where as women are even going to the gym in their 50s.

Now just figure out what you want in a woman, go to eHarmony and be honest with your personality profile there.  The woman I am with now loves Peter Griffin from the FAMILY GUY show.  Which is cool the way I'm always spouting off at the mouth.    Plus she actually like to work thru problems instead of create them like NY ****ras do.

Go to eHarmony and set the search parameters to the areas by which you live and you'll find a soul-mate in no time.  Go for a minimun of a 3 month membership for best results.

What was cool was when my eHarmony sweetie got to see what NY women were like.  Any insecurities she had were gone after that weekend as far as any "competition" here. 

Besides it is great to have intellect, curiosity, ambition, and artistic passion be dating assets again.

I am so tired of women dating users then ****ing all the time, before they turn around and date another one. 

[HereForNow]

Aristotle- I know that had to really suck, but it was probably for the better you didn't persue it.
Maturity issues are usually going to arise. How old do you think she was?

[Jennie McGrath]

And then, as I paid for my groceries, to my surprise, she came up behind me and stood behind me in line.  Up close, she was every bit as blonde and cute as I thought she was in the store, and young, too.

Come to think of it, I ran into this really OLD guy who was leering at me in the greocery store the other day. You don't suppose..?  No, that would be too horrible to contemplate!   

[Aristotle]

Aristotle- I know that had to really suck, but it was probably for the better you didn't persue it.
Maturity issues are usually going to arise. How old do you think she was?

Probably around 22. I don't exaggerate her appeal, she was, in a word,  "cute," and adorable. Those are the words that most come to mind when I think of her.  Maturity issues do tend to arise when you are with someone that young, and, if you have nothing in common other than the initial attraction, of course, things tend to fade.

There is something to be said for being ruled by simple attraction, though. We were, each of us made, sexual creatures, to fight against that, would be to fight against our nature.  When one gets older, of course, you tend to have more control over your desires, but, make no mistake, the desire, in and of itself, is not evil.  There would be very few people if the ends were only to exercise self-control.

[HereForNow]

Flirting is healthy!

I figure it doesn't matter where you get your apitite, as long as you eat at home.
I have managed to ignore my primal lust ,and traded it in for dark chocolate and horror movies.

Now at thirty-six, you hit the pillow and there is no "oh honey?", it's the sound of loud snoring and not being able to find that extra soft spot in your pillow that you love so much.

[HereForNow]

LOL I smiled on that one Jennie. Good imaging of possible things that could happen.