the Origins of Love

[HereForNow]

Simply figured:

Love is giving someone the ability to destroy you and trusting them not to.

[HereForNow]

I would like to propose a toast to our friend Dawn for this topic.
  (_)>  Cheers!


On that note;

Please take notice of this one statement. It's what kept me coming back to this particular thread.

"Knowing many of you as I do, I think I can imagine which of the two camps some of you might split into. Still, I would like to put a more personal touch on this. I invite everyone to share their opinions, theories, even experiences on the reality of love, no matter how plain or how intimate. I notice many of you aren't using your real names, so there is nothing to conceal, no secret to protect. The only thing that you are protecting is whatever standing you have may have built up in the forum, which, in the final analysis, means very little anyway. I want to judge no one, I wish to understand everyone.

As human beings, I believe it our responsibility to try and gain a greater appreciation of one another. In my opinion, that is the one thing we owe to our past generations, to our children who come after us. No greater understanding can be greater than the one we have of love."

[HereForNow]

At times I wish I was a better person, by loving what have more then loving what I want.
Deep within my soul I know that I'm not with the one that was meant for me. Yet the one that was meant for me doesn't exist.

She's all in my head. So, I will accept this Earthly life for now until that day of rest and embrace this love in my heart forever for the dream of the spirit love until that day I can give it to her.


Anyone know where that's from? 

[rockessence]

...

[Volitzer]

The Female Brain, Explained
By Laura Schaefer
Wouldn't it be a relief to finally understand what is happening behind her pretty eyes? Why is it, for example, that the woman in your life is serene one moment, apocalyptic the next? How can she remember details about your life you don't even recall? And what's with her taking everything so personally? Chalk it up to female brain chemistry. Here's how to tailor your courtship to her cortex, hippocampus, etc.

Pay attention to the little things
She'll see shades of meaning in small gestures, because significant regions of the cortex — the outer layer of a brain that conducts much of its high-level computing — are thicker in the ladies. Therefore, an off-hand comment like, "I'd rather watch the game" might say more than you meant it to. Likewise, a small act of kindness (from a kiss on the cheek to simply calling ahead to make reservations) will blow her away because she'll consider both the gesture and the thoughtfulness behind the gesture.

To keep up with her memory, take notes
It's a scientific fact: Women remember everything. The hippocampus takes up a larger percent of the female brain than the male brain, which is good to know because it's where memories are formed. So while you remember, maybe, the day you met, she's recorded your first flirtation, first phone call, first date, first kiss, etc. Bottom line? There's a reason the PDA and the Google calendar were invented: Use these electronic tools to keep up with her mighty hippocampus.

Follow her calm lead versus instigating bar fights
She's much better at reining in her aggressive impulses than you are. Doctors at the University of Pennsylvania measured the size of the orbitofrontal cortex, an area of the brain involved in regulating emotions. They then compared it with the size of the amygdala, which creates emotional reactions to events. They discovered that female brains have a much larger orbitofrontal-to-amygdala ratio (OAR) than male brains do. That suggests women are better than guys at responding calmly to rudeness or aggression. "The orbitofrontal cortex (OFC) is the main ‘modulator' of amygdala action," explains researcher Ruben Gur. "So if you are at a party and someone insults you, the amygdala, which is a very primitive and old structure in human brains, will be yelling ‘Kill the guy!' The OFC is the part of the brain that will say: ‘Consider the context; there are people around.'" Thus, if you want to impress her, quiet your own amygdala and behave as gracefully as she does.

Write her a poem or at least a cute email
"Women excel in something called verbal fluency, or being able to come up with appropriate words, given cues," says Dr. Larry Cahill of the University of California at Irvine. In general, women's brains are wired to be more language-centric than men's. Researchers at McMaster University found that female brains have a greater density of neurons in parts of the temporal lobe cortex, which is the area of the brain associated with language processing and comprehension. This could help explain why women often know the right thing to say, send great cards and love notes, and choose words with such care. In wooing a love interest, it wouldn't hurt to get the help of a trusted female friend. She'll know just what to say.

Be her serotonin
Women's brains produce significantly less serotonin — the brain chemical that helps make us happy — than male brains do. So if she has a tough day at work, treat to her to a transfusion: Try a pep talk, soothing back rub or long hug.

[Volitzer]

The Male Brain, Explained
By Laura Schaefer
Women have puzzled over it for years—why the heck do men do the things they do? Why do they profess their love for you one minute, then ignore you the next (say, when an Attila the Hun special turns up on TV)? Why can they not remember our birthdays? Let science explain some of these conundrums—and help you rev up your relationships!
Be patient with his memory
The hippocampus, where initial memories are formed, occupies a smaller percent of the male brain than the female brain. If on your first date he can't remember where you work, even though you told him all about it when you met, just remember that size matters … hippocampus size, that is. Don't take it personally. (Oh, and don't be surprised when, months down the line, he has no clue you've just changed your hair.)

Don't expect him to get hints
Have a crush on him? You may have to put it out there, because men aren't as skilled at women at reading subtle emotional cues. As Dr. Larry Cahill of the University of California at Irvine puts it, "We have been assuming that the ways in which emotions are organized in the brain are essentially similar in men and women," but they aren't. Parts of the limbic cortex, which is involved in emotional responses, are smaller in men than in women. Additionally, scientists at McMaster University have found that guys have a smaller density of neurons in areas of the temporal lobe that deal with language processing. That's why it's probably a good idea to tell him straight-up how you're feeling ("I'm kind of hurt that you forgot I hate sushi"). Expecting him to infer from your hints could leave both of you scratching your heads.

Don't take conversation lulls personally
Fact is, guys in general just aren't as verbally adept as women are. Large parts of the cortex — the brain's outer layer that does a big part of recognizing and using subtle language cues — are thinner in men than they are in women. A study led by Dr. Godfrey Pearlson of Johns Hopkins University has shown that two areas in the frontal and temporal lobes that play an important role in language processing are significantly smaller in men. Using MRIs, the Johns Hopkins scientists measured gray matter volumes in several brain regions in 17 females and 43 males. Women had 23 percent more volume than men in the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex and 13 percent more volume than men in the superior temporal cortex. "Women," explains Dr. Cahill, "excel in being able to come up with appropriate words, given cues." Men — not so much. Don't expect him to chatter with you on dates with the skill of a girlfriend, and don't assume he's not interested in you if he occasionally lets the conversation lapse. Think of it this way: He's simply basking in moments of quiet companionship.

Appreciate his naturally upbeat nature
Does he seem to be "up" most of the time? It's not your imagination: Male brains produce 52 percent more serotonin (the chemical that influences mood) than female brains, according to a study done at McGill University. And studies show that fewer men than women suffer from depression. Guys may also have an easier time rolling with life's big stresses. If he tells you he recently lost his golden lab or suffered a job loss and doesn't get all teary, it doesn't mean he's heartless; rather, he has healthy stores of serotonin.

Don't expect his take on your relationship history to match yours
He may be incapable of seeing your shared past the way you do. Brain images have started to show that men and women use their brains in vastly different ways. For example, women use the left part of the amygdala — the part of the brain that creates emotional reactions to events — to put memories in order by emotional strength, meaning that something emotionally important to them (like a great first date a couple of months ago) will be ordered in front of what they ate for breakfast yesterday. Men, however, use the right part of the amygdala to put memories in order. Traditionally, the right hemisphere of the brain is associated with the central action of an event, while the left hemisphere is associated with finer details. Translation: You'll both remember your first date, but he might not remember the color of your sweater or the light rain that was falling that night. It doesn't mean he was checked out; it just means he's a guy.

Remember his brain is his largest sex organ
In males of several species including humans, the preoptic area of the hypothalamus is greater in volume, in cross-sectional area and in the number of cells. In men, this area is more than two times larger than in women, and it contains twice as many cells. And what, say you, does this have to do with the horizontal mambo? Plenty. This area of the hypothalamus is in charge of mating behavior.
This small structure connects to the pituitary gland, which releases sex hormones. So if your bf wants to get intimate all the time and you feel like Ms. Low Desire, remember: You're just experiencing normal, brain-based differences.

[rockessence]

Nice posts Voli!

[Michelle Sandberg]

Anyone care to share some new personal stories?

[Pagan]

Why? Has your own personal life dried up to the extent that you have to live through other people's sex lives?

[Keith Ranville]

 

Long distance relationships do they eventually fade in interest? and is it prevalent that someone ends up in the relationship alone before its over? Should one be pessimistic while being in any kind of relationship that basically rides on unsupervised trusting? The honest ship may have sailed out of port when the lost in love ship hits the high seas, there is no telling in what the turbulent oceans of lasting lusting love can offer anyone?

Red sky in the morning sailors take warning

I am a believer in the power of love and its phenomenal ability that can blindly lead you on through uncharted waters like a ship without a rudder.   

Red sky at night sailors delight

I will always enjoy the feelings of love, its an adventure that has many avenues, hence even through the unforgettable pains of heartbreak. But I will also always remember the lessons of love its something that you will never forget after its all said and done with. Lucky for us whomever invented love the entity left an exit plan from any loving relationship and its time it'll fade any anchored gripping feeling to the point so that you can move on with your next life's chapter in the unpromising land of the relationship world.

Fate in two people coming together is my forte, always.   



I, as myself Keith.       

[Veronica Poe]

Keith, you asked:

Long distance relationships do they eventually fade in interest?

Personally, I think the most important ingredient in any love affair is physical proximity and physical contact.  You have to have those moments with someone in order to build a relationship that is both strong and healthy.  Just my opinion.

Peace,

Veronica

[Keith Ranville]

Keith, you asked:

Long distance relationships do they eventually fade in interest?

Personally, I think the most important ingredient in any love affair is physical proximity and physical contact.  You have to have those moments with someone in order to build a relationship that is both strong and healthy.  Just my opinion.

Peace,

Veronica

Hello Veronica,

Of course, but I think you miss read me, but I was saying being with someone and having with them tender moments ect.. But then having to leave across the country and then still trying to keep things maintained the way things were when before the departed began from one another.. I maybe have not emphasized that enough or I auto-thought a reader would think there was physical encounters before the ship had sailed in my previous story post; on the origin of love.

Things are usually always complicated and indescribable to the emotions felt to be put on paper sometimes.. poetic romance, I thought it to be on my last post and was somehow meant to be in a artistic manuscripted manner.

Thank you for responding to my post I am flattered someone did.

keith,

[Keith Ranville]

Is there any kind of relief interventions for romantic junkies.   

[Keith Ranville]

Whats with ****® and them infomercial male & now female sex performance pills like extenze if they work for the physical part of the relationship then what about the emotional part of a relationship? A good copulate on regular basis could it really save all areas of a dwindling or lacking relationship? oppose to a intellectual relationship that has the odd roll in the hay every blue moon. Or would that depend on what said if the couples were blue collar or white collar workers?

Hypothetically; and what if someone becomes ill in a relationship and is unable to sex it up for a period of time due to a medical condition, does the other partner go shop around for another lover?


Keith,     

[Keith Ranville]

Is America the Best place to find love and marriage like in: 1988 Coming to America?   

Directed by John Landis. With Eddie Murphy, Arsenio Hall, James Earl Jones, John Amos and other actors that later became big hoolywood stars themselves.



Scene Eddy Murphy goes to a new york queens speak easy to find a wife.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUiWWMbbQ8E&feature=related

Eddy Murphy stops robber Samuel L. Jackson and woo's the woman he is interested in the process.

I think this is the show that eddy murphy began to to act as many characters..

The extent one will go to find that special love... is it worth it. It would depend on the bathetic integrity in whomever journey's down that path.


Keith,