Are We Ready for the Rapture?

Elmer Jessup

Hero Member

Posts: 136

Are We Ready for the Rapture?

« on: May 20, 2011, 10:11:19 pm »

Well, folks, tomorrow is a momentous day for us good Christians! The good lord is going to spirit us up to heaven to go meet the rest of the good, God-fearing folk. Looks like you liberal guys and gals are going to be left behind! Yessiree, you folks are SOL.

But you ain't going to see those of us here who led good, God fearing lives, who go to church, read the Bible and vote Repubican. Maybe the good lord will throw one or two of you a bone and have you come with us, but the rest of us are all packed up, on our way and will be spiirited up to be with the almighty while the rest of you here are really in for it.

Just wanted to let you all know in case your favorite Sunday School teacher, preacher or conservative Republican is missing at twelve noon tomorrow. Enjoy the Tribulation, liberals!


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"I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance." - LUKE 5:32
"Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak."- MATTHEW 26:41

Edith

Full Member

Posts: 33

Re: Are We Ready for the Rapture?

« Reply #1 on: May 20, 2011, 10:23:59 pm »

I am totally ready for the Rapture, Elmer, thanks for asking! Looks like all the good conservative Republican people will be gone after tomorrow, and the earth will be left to the evil Muslims, Jews, liberals, pornographers, women who have had abortions and Democrats! We're too good for this planet anyway.


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Sarah

Administrator
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Posts: 2297

Re: Are We Ready for the Rapture?

« Reply #2 on: May 20, 2011, 10:46:46 pm »

The Rapture is to begin with the slaughter of the Jews. How very "Christian" for some to want that.

Sarah


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"If I forget thee, O Jerusalem, may my right hand fail..." - King David, Psalms 137:5

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Myrtle

Sr. Member

Posts: 79

Re: Are We Ready for the Rapture?

« Reply #3 on: May 21, 2011, 07:54:07 pm »

Does anyone know when this Rapture thing is supposed to begin? Because it hasn't happened hyet for me and I thought I would be one of the first ones taken!


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Volitzer

Superhero Member

Posts: 11110

Re: Are We Ready for the Rapture?

« Reply #4 on: May 23, 2011, 03:44:15 pm »

There are too many undercover humans from other worlds working to keep Earth out of any kind of war.

World War 3, the Rapture etc. will NEVER happen.

Go do something more productive with your time.


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Austin Heller

Superhero Member

Posts: 1213

Re: Are We Ready for the Rapture?

« Reply #5 on: May 23, 2011, 09:24:38 pm »

Maybe also ?God just thought some of you were jerks and didn't want to spend anymore time with you than necessary?


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Myrtle

Sr. Member

Posts: 79

Re: Are We Ready for the Rapture?

« Reply #6 on: May 25, 2011, 11:49:42 pm »

Looks like we got our dates crossed, the rapture is really supposed to take place on October 21st now! We have a few more months learning you liberals how to be good people.


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Volitzer

Superhero Member

Posts: 11110

Re: Are We Ready for the Rapture?

« Reply #7 on: May 26, 2011, 01:40:22 pm »

Okay here's your 'Rapture'

Grin


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