Message #219835

[Paulo Riven]

One day two tourists decided to rent a camel to cross the sahara desert with. The Arabian owner of the camels warned them that every 50 miles they must find water for the camel to drink. Okay they said and off they went on the camel. Later on one guy said that he thinks it must be around 50 miles so they found a watering hole and led the camel to it.

The camel refused to drink so they said, oh well let's travel another 50 miles and surely he will drink by then. So off they went and 50 miles later, the same thing happened and the camel again refused to drink. They became very worried because it was incredibly hot and they knew they would die if the camel didn't drink in the sweltering heat.

So one of them got a bright idea and he exclaimed; "I know we'll siphon the water into the camel!" "What do you mean said the other". "Don't worry just go around to the front of the camel and stick his head into the water hole".

Okay said the other and he pushed the camels head into the water hole.
Meanwhile the other guy went around the back of the camel's butt and stuck his thumbs in and began to siphon from the camel.

A few minutes later he choked and spat out in disgust yelling to the other guy;

"Hey lift up it's head I think it's in the mud!!!".


A guy end's up in hell one time and after years of suffering he was permitted to leave upon a final condition that he makes love to the ugliest,fattest and most hideous woman ever to have been. He agrees and goes into the room and makes it with these disgusting and foul women.

After completing his task, the devil takes him down the hall and towards the exit door.

Along the way they pass a room full of beautiful and gorgeous women where he sees a really hideous and ugly old man making love to them.

"Hey, what's up with that?!!!" He's says to the devil. "Why is it that I had to make it with those ugly women and he get's to make it with beautiful women?"

The devil looked at him and said; "The girls want to get out too you know".



Three hillbillies break into a farmer's house one evening while he was asleep in his room downstairs. Upon the way upstairs one guy stepped on a creaky board and the farmer woke up and said "Who goes there?". "Meeeooow" said the one guy and crept away into a room. The next guy following him upstairs stepped on the same board and creeeek it went again. "Who goes there?",said the farmer and the guy went "meeeoooow" and crept away into a room.

The third guy also happened to step on the same board again and it went creeeeek!. The farmer woke up a third time and said once again; "Who goes there?".

The guy turned around and exclaimed; " It's me the cat". The farmer shot him.



A city salesman's car breaks down along the country road one night late in the evening. So he walks a few miles until he came to a farmer's house and knocked on the door. The farmer opens the door and says "What can I do ya fer?" The city salesman tells him about his car and that he won't be able to get a towtruck until the morning. The farmer tells him; "Well I reckon it's allright you spend the night, except yer gonna have to share the room with my daughter's Nelly and Venus". "No problem", says the salesman and he settles in for the night with the 2 farmer's daughters.

The next morning he calls the towtruck and off he goes back to the city.

About 3 months later the city guy get's a letter in his mailbox from the farmer, opens it and reads it.

"Dear city feller, was it you who did the pushin,put the spots upon the cushion, put the footprints on the ceiling upside down? Ever since you been with Nelly there's been a swell in her belly, don't you think it's time you came around?"

The city salesman wrote a letter back and sent it to the farmer;

"Dear Farmer, yes it was I who did the pushin,put the spots upon the cushion, put the footprints on the ceiling upside down. But ever since I was with Venus I've been having problems with my ****, so were 50/50 all around!".