Message #181578

[Hellina]

WEDDING, n. A ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.

WEREWOLF, n. A wolf that was once, or is sometimes, a man. All werewolves are of evil disposition, having assumed a bestial form to gratify a beastial appetite, but some, transformed by sorcery, are as humane and is consistent with an acquired taste for human flesh.

Some Bavarian peasants having caught a wolf one evening, tied it to a post by the tail and went to bed. The next morning nothing was there! Greatly perplexed, they consulted the local priest, who told them that their captive was undoubtedly a werewolf and had resumed its human for during the night. "The next time that you take a wolf," the good man said, "see that you chain it by the leg, and in the morning you will find a Lutheran."

WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard.

    Should you ask me whence this laughter,
    Whence this audible big-smiling,
    With its labial extension,
    With its maxillar distortion
    And its diaphragmic rhythmus
    Like the billowing of an ocean,
    Like the shaking of a carpet,
    I should answer, I should tell you:
    From the great deeps of the spirit,
    From the unplummeted abysmus
    Of the soul this laughter welleth
    As the fountain, the gug-guggle,
    Like the river from the canon [sic],
    To entoken and give warning
    That my present mood is sunny.
    Should you ask me further question --
    Why the great deeps of the spirit,
    Why the unplummeted abysmus
    Of the soule extrudes this laughter,
    This all audible big-smiling,
    I should answer, I should tell you
    With a white heart, tumpitumpy,
    With a true tongue, honest Injun:
    William Bryan, he has Caught It,
    Caught the Whangdepootenawah!

    Is't the sandhill crane, the shankank,
    Standing in the marsh, the kneedeep,
    Standing silent in the kneedeep
    With his wing-tips crossed behind him
    And his neck close-reefed before him,
    With his bill, his william, buried
    In the down upon his bosom,
    With his head retracted inly,
    While his shoulders overlook it?
    Does the sandhill crane, the shankank,
    Shiver grayly in the north wind,
    Wishing he had died when little,
    As the sparrow, the chipchip, does?
    No 'tis not the Shankank standing,
    Standing in the gray and dismal
    Marsh, the gray and dismal kneedeep.
    No, 'tis peerless William Bryan
    Realizing that he's Caught It,
    Caught the Whangdepootenawah!