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"Monty Python and the Holy Grail"
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"Monty Python and the Holy Grail"
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Topic: "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" (Read 959 times)
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Medieval Knight
Hero Member
Posts: 239
Re: "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"
«
Reply #60
on:
September 01, 2009, 01:25:04 pm »
MAYNARD: It's the legendary Black Beast of aaauuugh!
ARTHUR: Run away!
ALL: Run away! Run away!
[roar]
NARRATOR: As the horrendous Black Beast lunged forward, escape
for Arthur and his knights seemed hopeless. When, suddenly, the
animator suffered a fatal heart attack. [ulk] The cartoon peril
was no more. The Quest for the Holy Grail could continue.
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Medieval Knight
Hero Member
Posts: 239
Re: "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"
«
Reply #61
on:
September 01, 2009, 01:25:21 pm »
Scene 35
ARTHUR: There it is! The Bridge of Death!
ROBIN: Oh, great.
KNIGHT: Look!
ARTHUR: There's the old man from Scene 24!
BEDEMIR: What is he doing here?
ARTHUR: He is the keeper of the Bridge of Death. He asks each
traveller five questions--
KNIGHT: Three questions.
ARTHUR: Three questions. He who answers the five questions--
KNIGHT: Three questions.
ARTHUR: Three questions may cross in safety.
ROBIN: What if you get a question wrong?
ARTHUR: Then you are cast into the Gorge of Eternal Peril.
ROBIN: Oh, I won't go.
KNIGHT: Who's going to answer the questions?
ARTHUR: Sir Robin!
ROBIN: Yes?
ARTHUR: Brave Sir Robin, you go.
ROBIN: Hey! I've got a great idea. Why doesn't Launcelot go?
LAUNCELOT: Yes, let me go, my liege. I will take him single-handed.
I shall make a feint to the north-east--
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Medieval Knight
Hero Member
Posts: 239
Re: "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"
«
Reply #62
on:
September 01, 2009, 01:25:35 pm »
ARTHUR: No, no, hang on, hang on, hang on! Just answer the five
questions--
KNIGHT: Three questions.
ARTHUR: Three questions as best you can. And we shall watch... and
pray.
LAUNCELOT: I understand, my liege.
ARTHUR: Good luck, brave Sir Launcelot. God be with you.
KEEPER: Stop! Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me
these questions three, 'ere the other side he see.
LAUNCELOT: Ask me the questions, bridge-keeper. I'm not afraid.
KEEPER: What is your name?
LAUNCELOT: My name is Sir Launcelot of Camelot.
KEEPER: What is your quest?
LAUNCELOT: To seek the Holy Grail.
KEEPER: What is your favorite color?
LAUNCELOT: Blue.
KEEPER: Right. Off you go.
LAUNCELOT: Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.
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Medieval Knight
Hero Member
Posts: 239
Re: "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"
«
Reply #63
on:
September 01, 2009, 01:25:43 pm »
ROBIN: That's easy!
KEEPER: Stop! Who approaches the Bridge of Death must answer me
these questions three, 'ere the other side he see.
ROBIN: Ask me the questions, bridge-keeper. I'm not afraid.
KEEPER: What is your name?
ROBIN: Sir Robin of Camelot.
KEEPER: What is your quest?
ROBIN: To seek the Holy Grail.
KEEPER: What is the capital of Assyria?
ROBIN: I don't know that! Auuuuuuuugh!
KEEPER: Stop! What is your name?
GALAHAD: Sir Galahad of Camelot.
KEEPER: What is your quest?
GALAHAD: I seek the Holy Grail.
KEEPER: What is your favorite color?
GALAHAD: Blue. No yel-- Auuuuuuuugh!
KEEPER: Heh heh. Stop! What is your name?
ARTHUR: It is Arthur, King of the Britons.
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Medieval Knight
Hero Member
Posts: 239
Re: "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"
«
Reply #64
on:
September 01, 2009, 01:25:54 pm »
KEEPER: What is your quest?
ARTHUR: To seek the Holy Grail.
KEEPER: What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
ARTHUR: What do you mean? An African or European swallow?
KEEPER: What? I don't know that! Auuuuuuuugh!
BEDEMIR: How do know so much about swallows?
ARTHUR: Well, you have to know these things when you're a king you know.
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Medieval Knight
Hero Member
Posts: 239
Re: "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"
«
Reply #65
on:
September 01, 2009, 01:26:10 pm »
Scene 36
ARTHUR: Launcelot! Launcelot! Launcelot!
BEDEMIR: Launcelot! Launcelot!
ARTHUR: Launcelot! Launcelot!
BEDEMIR: Launcelot! Launcelot!
[angels singing]
ARTHUR: The Castle Aggh. Our quest is at an end! God be praised!
Almighty God, we thank Thee that Thou hast [something] safe
[something] the most-
[twong baaaa]
Jesus Christ!
GUARD: 'Allo, daffy English kaniggets and Monsieur Arthur-King, who
is afraid of a duck, you know! So, we French fellows out-wit you a
second time!
ARTHUR: How dare you profane this place with your presence!? I command
you, in the name of the Knights of Camelot, to open the doors of this
sacred castle, to which God himself has guided us!
GUARD: How you English say, I one more time-a unclog my nose in your
direction, sons of a window-dresser! So, you think you could
out-clever us French folk with your silly knees-bent running about
advancing behavior! I wave my private parts at your aunties, you
heaving lot of second-hand electric donkey bottom biters.
ARTHUR: In the name of the Lord, we demand entrance to this sacred
castle!
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Medieval Knight
Hero Member
Posts: 239
Re: "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"
«
Reply #66
on:
September 01, 2009, 01:26:23 pm »
GUARD: No chance, English bedwetting types. I burst my pimples at you
and call your daughter an unrequested silly thing. You tiny-brained
wipers of other people's bottoms!
ARTHUR: If you do not open this door, we shall take this castle by
force!
[splat]
In the name of God and the glory of our--
[splat]
Right! That settles it!
GUARD: Yes, this time and try
any more or we fire arrows at the tops of your heads
and make castanets out of your testicles already! Ha ha!
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Medieval Knight
Hero Member
Posts: 239
Re: "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"
«
Reply #67
on:
September 01, 2009, 01:26:35 pm »
ARTHUR: Walk away. Just ignore them.
GUARD: No, remain you illegitimate faced buggerfuls! And, if you think
you got nasty taunting this time, you ain't heard nothing yet! Daffy
English kaniggets! Thpppt!
ARTHUR: We shall attack at once!
BEDEMIR: Yes, my liege!
ARTHUR: Stand by for attack!
[Continue reading...]
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Medieval Knight
Hero Member
Posts: 239
Re: "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"
«
Reply #68
on:
September 01, 2009, 01:27:18 pm »
THE END.
http://www.sacred-texts.com/neu/mphg/mphg.htm#Scene%2036
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rockessence
Superhero Member
Posts: 1688
Using rocks and minerals to heal the earth and us.
Re: "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"
«
Reply #69
on:
September 01, 2009, 07:04:14 pm »
AAAAAghhh..
Where is "I fart in your general direction!"...?
Did miss it???
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ILLIGITIMI NON CARBORUNDUM
Thus ye may find in thy mental and spiritual self, ye can make thyself just as happy or just as miserable as ye like. How miserable do ye want to be?......For you GROW to heaven, you don't GO to heaven. It is within thine own conscience that ye grow there.
Edgar Cayce
Medieval Knight
Hero Member
Posts: 239
Re: "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"
«
Reply #70
on:
September 01, 2009, 10:42:48 pm »
That has to have been one of the scenes involving the French. In which case, it would be either at the beginning of the movie when they are storming the castle, or the end, just after the Holy Hand Grenade.
Glad you liked it!
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rockessence
Superhero Member
Posts: 1688
Using rocks and minerals to heal the earth and us.
Re: "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"
«
Reply #71
on:
September 02, 2009, 03:20:33 am »
why do you think I have this OUTrageous accent, you silly king....
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ILLIGITIMI NON CARBORUNDUM
Thus ye may find in thy mental and spiritual self, ye can make thyself just as happy or just as miserable as ye like. How miserable do ye want to be?......For you GROW to heaven, you don't GO to heaven. It is within thine own conscience that ye grow there.
Edgar Cayce
Medieval Knight
Hero Member
Posts: 239
Re: "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"
«
Reply #72
on:
September 03, 2009, 06:39:38 pm »
Black Knight
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