Message #169021

[Medieval Knight]

BEDEMIR:  So, why do witches burn?
      [pause]
  VILLAGER #3:  B--... 'cause they're made of wood...?
  BEDEMIR:  Good!
  CROWD:  Oh yeah, yeah...
  BEDEMIR:  So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood?
  VILLAGER #1:  Build a bridge out of her.
  BEDEMIR:  Aah, but can you not also build bridges out of stone?
  VILLAGER #2:  Oh, yeah.
  BEDEMIR:  Does wood sink in water?
  VILLAGER #1:  No, no.
  VILLAGER #2:  It floats!  It floats!
  VILLAGER #1:  Throw her into the pond!
  CROWD:  The pond!
  BEDEMIR:  What also floats in water?
  VILLAGER #1:  Bread!
  VILLAGER #2:  Apples!
  VILLAGER #3:  Very small rocks!
  VILLAGER #1:  Cider!
  VILLAGER #2:  Great gravy!
  VILLAGER #1:  Cherries!
  VILLAGER #2:  Mud!
  VILLAGER #3:  Churches -- churches!
  VILLAGER #2:  Lead -- lead!
  ARTHUR:  A duck.
  CROWD:  Oooh.
  BEDEMIR:  Exactly!  So, logically...,
  VILLAGER #1:  If... she.. weighs the same as a duck, she's made of wood.
  BEDEMIR:  And therefore--?
  VILLAGER #1:  A witch!
  CROWD:  A witch!
  BEDEMIR:  We shall use my larger scales!
      [yelling]
  BEDEMIR:  Right, remove the supports!
      [whop]
      [creak]
  CROWD:  A witch!  A witch!